words in movies
ROSS: Let me hold him for a sec. There. (Ben stops crying) Huh? There we are.
ROSS: Don't be silly. Ben loves you. He's just being Mr. Crankypants.
ROSS: There we go. All better. (gives Ben back to Monica)
MONICA: There's my little boy. (Ben starts crying again)
CHANDLER: Can I uh see something? (Takes Ben. When he puts him close to Monica, Ben cries. When he moves Ben away, he stops crying.)
ROSS: What about Ben? We can't bring a baby to a hospital.
(Chandler and Joey are loaded down with baby stuff, and Ben)
CHANDLER AND JOEY: (running after bus) Ben! Ben! Ben!
BOTH (but to different babies): Oh, Ben! Hey, buddy!
JOEY: Well, well that one has ducks on his t-shirt, and this one has clowns. And Ben was definitely wearing ducks.
JOEY: Or clowns. Oh, oh wait. That one's definitely Ben. Remember, he had that cute little mole by his mouth.
CHANDLER: Hey, Ben, remember us? Ok, the mole came off.
ROSS: I hope Ben has a little sister.
MONICA: Aw, my little nephew. Come here, little one. There's my little baby Ben. Hey, my little boy. Hey, he's not crying.
(Ben starts crying)
ROSS: Will you hold Ben for a sec? Come here. Come here.
Ross: I bet if I talk to Carol and Susan I can convince them to move to London with Ben.
Ross: All right Emily, as much as I love you, I'm sorry, I can't move to London without Ben.
Rachel: Monica, number one, I dont think Ben understands the concept of bribery, and number two, I... (Joey starts laughing in the background) (to Joey) What?!
Ross: (to Monica) You wanna wander in the hall? (to Ben) Ooh, hey Ben, what if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the festival of lights?
Ross: Its just I always thought when I had another kid it would be different. Now I-I love Ben, but every time I have to drop him off at Carol and Susans, its likeIt breaks my heart a little. I mean Ive always had this picture of me and my next wife in bed on Sunday and, my kid comes running in and leaps up onto the bed. And we all read the paper together. Yknow? Maybe fight over the science section.
Ben: Hi!
Ross: (entering, with Ben) Hi!
Monica: Hi Ben!
(Monica starts taking pictures of Ross and Ben, with the flash.)
Carol: (entering with Ben and Ross) Hey guys!
Monica: I know what you need, you need a bodyguard. Hey Ross, what is Ben doing after preschool?
Ben: Hi!!
Ross: All right, I gotta take off. I'm picking up Ben then we're off to the big audition.
[Scene: Ben's audition, Carol, Ross, and Ben along with about 10 more families are in a waiting room as Joey enters happily.]
Ross: Joey, you look nothing like Ben.
[Scene: Ben and Joey's (Isn't that an ice cream??) callback.]
Carol: Joey, Ross is gonna be here any second, would you mind watching Ben for me while I use the ladies' room?
Ross: (angrily) Ben! (Pause.) (Happily.) I mean, Ben! Ben!
Ross: Maybe I should get another pair! Ooh, y'know, they-they had some with fringe all down the sides. (Chandler starts rubbing his temple again.) I'm gonna go kiss Ben goodnight. (He starts to head for Monica's bedroom.) I can't believe he thinks I'm a cowboy. (Pause.) I would make a good cowboy. (He struts into Monica's room.)
Ross: Okay, I've got to go pick up Ben but I-I will figure something out. (He opens the door and stops.) Hey, didn't he used to have a cat?
Ross: (Pause) Yeah I am! Yeah, Ben got a second audition!
Joey: I just said that so you wouldn't let Ben do it! Look Ross, if anyone should step aside it should be Ben!
The Casting Director: (entering) Okay uh, we have narrowed it down to Raymond, Ben, Kyle, and Joey. The rest of you, thank you very much.
Carol: Guess what? Ben is going to be in a TV commercial!
Ross: All right, I gotta go. I'm taking Ben to the park.
Monica: See? Ben doesn't think you're a loser, he thinks you're a cowboy! Now that's something.
Ross: (to the guys) I gotta go make a fake Ben.
Emily: If anyone asks, well just say Ben addressed them. (Looking through the envelopes.) Oh! So you invited Rachel then?
Ross: Because, because Ive got Ben.
Ross: I know, it's crazy! We were just pushing Ben on the swings
Joey: (quietly) Ive got Ben.
Ross: Ben, say hi to Aunt Monica. (He holds the phone to the fake Ben he has created out of a pumpkin.) Oh, I guess he doesnt feel like talking right now. Hes smiling though! Okay, talk to you later.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Ross: Chandler, what kind of an idiot do you take me for? (As he picks up the fake Ben.)
Ben: (yelling from off camera) Crap!!
Ben: No more pranks.
Ben: That you and daddy were not on a break.
Ben: Yay! (Runs off.)
Ben: (entering) Dad!! (Runs and hugs him.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is in the kitchen as Ross and Ben are entering.]
Ross: Wait! No! Ben, come here! I am not kidding!
Ross: Yeah? Well, I-I think Bens asleep.
Ross: Hey Im sorry to do this to you again but uh, is there any way you can look after Ben for a little bit? I-Ive got this meeting at school. And-and he-he asked for his uh, Fun Aunt Rachel, so
Ross: What? (She takes the sign off and hands it to him.) Thats great. That is great. (Crumples up the paper and throws it down in anger.) What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
Ross: All right, thats it! (He runs over to Ben, but he runs past him and out the door.) Comeyouno! You are in big trouble young man!
Rachel: Ohhh! Well of course I will watch him! We have fun, dont we Ben? (He nods yes.)
Ben: What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
[Cut to the hallway, Ben runs upstairs with Ross in pursuit.]
[Scene: Central Park, Ross is teaching Ben how to ride a bike. Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are they also.]
Ross: Yeah, well my-my ex-wife and I share custody of Ben and umm, uh, and just so you know, Carol and I are on excellent terms as Im sure you are with your wife! (Realizes) Oh, Im sorry! (To Elizabeth) Its unbelievable!
(At this point a stream of obscenities burst forth from Phoebes mouth just in time for Ben and Ross to enter and hear most of it, and in slow motion Ross tries to shield his innocent son from Phoebes vulgarity.)
Ben: (on the bike) Im ready!
Ben: Uh-huh!
Ben: (To Chandler) Thanks daddy.
Monica: Matt Guire, Mark Lynn, Ben Wire
Ross: (Thinking it over) Sure! (Takes one) Hey, I just found out, I get Ben for the holidays this year.
Rachel: You may need to use this year to teach Ben about Phoebe.
Ben: Christmas eve.
Ben: No.
Ben: So Santa's coming?
Ben: Santa's mad at me.
Ben: (singing) Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer...
Ben: Texas?
Ross: You're welcome, Ben. Merry Christmas, ooh, and Happy Hanukkah!
Ross: I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. You sent me here to give Ben some presents. Remember?
Chandler: Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird turtle-man?
Ben: Did you bring me any presents, Santa?
Chandler: Hey! (Grunts as Ben hits him at full speed.)
[Ross turns around and walks back to Ben.]
Ross: Okay Ben, Santa has to go. Say good-bye!
Ben: (singing) Jingle bells, jingle bells...
Ben: No Santa? Was I bad?
Ross: No! Oh, no-no-no. Hey, you weren't bad, you've been very good, Ben.
Ben: Cool!
Monica: Come on Ben.
Ben: Wow! Thanks!
Ben: Santa! (Runs to Chandler and hugs him)
[Monica and Ben sit down on the couch.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica has just opened the door for Ross who is costumed as an Armadillo. Ben is standing next to her.]
Ben: No! Why does he have to go?
Ben: Okay, Santa!
Ben: No! Why can't the Armadillo leave? I want Santa!
Ross: That's right, Ben. I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico! But, Santa sent me here to give you these presents, Ben. (He tries to bend down to pick up the bag with the presents, but can't because of the costume) Maybe the Lady will help me with these presents.
Ben: (answering him) Eight whole days.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Santa (Chandler), Superman (Joey), Ben, and Monica are listening to the Holiday Armadillo (Ross) finish telling the story of Hanukkah.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is whirling Ben around.]
Ben: Santa has reindeers that can fly!
Ben: Christmas.
Ross: Well, I do, so let's... (Ben and Ross sit down on the couch) So, Ben, you uh, you know what holiday is coming up, don't ya?
Ross: Yes, but also (Pauses to let Ben answer, but he doesnt.) Hanukkah! See, you're part Jewish, and-and Hanukkah is a Jewish holiday.
Ben: When is Santa coming?
Ross: Thats right! Wait no, Ben.
Ben: Awesome!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe is watching Bert and Ernie with Ben.]
(Ben starts to go, but Ross stops him.)
Ross: (to Ben) Okay! All clear!
Ross: (to Ben) Everything okay in there?
Rachel: Ben, its Rachel! (He closes the door.) But whatever.
Ben: Dont talk to me now!
Ben: Not really.