words in movies
Ross: (Thinking it over) Sure! (Takes one) Hey, I just found out, I get Ben for the holidays this year.
Phoebe: And maybe I could teach Ben about the Christmas skull and how people die.
Rachel: You may need to use this year to teach Ben about Phoebe.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is whirling Ben around.]
Ben: No.
Ross: Well, I do, so let's... (Ben and Ross sit down on the couch) So, Ben, you uh, you know what holiday is coming up, don't ya?
Ben: Christmas.
Ben: Christmas eve.
Ross: Yes, but also (Pauses to let Ben answer, but he doesnt.) Hanukkah! See, you're part Jewish, and-and Hanukkah is a Jewish holiday.
Ben: Santa has reindeers that can fly!
Ben: (singing) Jingle bells, jingle bells...
Ben: (singing) Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer...
Ben: When is Santa coming?
Ben: No Santa? Was I bad?
Ross: No! Oh, no-no-no. Hey, you weren't bad, you've been very good, Ben.
Ben: Santa's mad at me.
Ross: No, hey-hey, come on, (He grabs Ben and sits him on his lap) Ben, Santa is not mad at you, okay? Hey, you're-you're his favorite little guy!
Ben: So Santa's coming?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica has just opened the door for Ross who is costumed as an Armadillo. Ben is standing next to her.]
Ross: I'm the holiday armadillo! I'm a friend of Santa's and he sent me here to wish you (Points to Ben) a Merry Christmas!
Ben: Texas?
Ross: That's right, Ben. I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico! But, Santa sent me here to give you these presents, Ben. (He tries to bend down to pick up the bag with the presents, but can't because of the costume) Maybe the Lady will help me with these presents.
Ben: Wow! Thanks!
Ross: You're welcome, Ben. Merry Christmas, ooh, and Happy Hanukkah!
Ben: Are you for Hanukkah, too? Because I'm part-Jewish.
Ross: (to Monica) You wanna wander in the hall? (to Ben) Ooh, hey Ben, what if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the festival of lights?
Ben: Cool!
Monica: Come on Ben.
[Monica and Ben sit down on the couch.]
Ben: Santa! (Runs to Chandler and hugs him)
Chandler: Hey! (Grunts as Ben hits him at full speed.)
Chandler: Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird turtle-man?
Ross: I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. You sent me here to give Ben some presents. Remember?
Ben: Did you bring me any presents, Santa?
Chandler: You bet I did, Ben, put it there! (He shakes Ben's hand, but the money falls out of his hands) (to Monica) Well, it would have worked this time, if his hands weren't so damn small! (Realizes, that Ben is standing right there) Ho, ho, ho!
Monica: Okay Ben, why don't you come open some more presents, and Santa, the Armadillo, and I have a little talk in the kitchen? There's a sentence, I never thought I'd say.
[Ross turns around and walks back to Ben.]
Ross: Okay Ben, Santa has to go. Say good-bye!
Ben: No! Why does he have to go?
Ben: No! Why can't the Armadillo leave? I want Santa!
Chandler: Well, I'll stay, but only because I wanna hear about Hanukkah. Ben, will you sit here with Santa and learn about Hanukkah?
Ben: Okay, Santa!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Santa (Chandler), Superman (Joey), Ben, and Monica are listening to the Holiday Armadillo (Ross) finish telling the story of Hanukkah.]
Ben: (answering him) Eight whole days.
Ben: Awesome!
Ross: The Armadillo was actually not so thrilled about that part! Okay Ben, its time to light the Hanukkah candles! (Santa, Superman, Monica, Ben, and the Holiday Armadillo go over to the menorah to light the candles.)
Ross: Why should Ben step aside? It was his audition in the first place! You-you just tagged along! You're like the uh, tag-a-long dad.
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
JOEY: Or clowns. Oh, oh wait. That one's definitely Ben. Remember, he had that cute little mole by his mouth.
Trudie Styler: You must be Bens mum.
(And with that, television history is made as, for the first time ever, an entire show moves its entire production to an entirely different country to make a single episode. We get shots of Buckingham Palace, London Bridge, Big Ben, and the London Marriott as Joey and Chandler exit.)
Ben: Whens my daddy coming back?
Mr. Geller: Well of course Ben, I meant my first granddaughter. (To Monica, mouths) Wow.
Monica: (getting choked up) Hi, Ben. Hi. I'm your Aunt Monica. Yes I am. I'm your Aunt Monica. I...I will always have gum.
Joey: (reading the card) Whoa! This guy is like the biggest commercial casting director in town! (Ross gasps) Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition!! (Ross and Carol stare at him, then Joey realizes what he just said.) I mean, way to go Ben! (Gives Ben the thumbs up, which Ben returns.) Man! I've been in that park a million times and no one offered me an audition.
The Teacher: Are you one of Bens mothers?
Ross: Oh, Im just over here with Ben. I thought wed say hi.
Rachel: Ohh, okay. (Ross has a sign on his back that reads Poop.) WhAh-ha! (Ross stops and turns.) Wait a minute. Uh Ben, I cant do it.
Joey: Well, I've been thinking about this whole commercial thing, y'know me going up against Ben, the two of us competing, and that can't lead to anything good. So, I think I'm just gonna step aside. I'm gonna tell them that I won't audition.
Ross: (sets Ben down) Well, it's not for sure but umm, we met this guy in the park who thought Ben was really cute--y'know, which he is--so umm anyhoo, he uh, he gave us his card and told us to bring him down for this commercial he's auditioning.
Ross: Umm, did you notice anything wierd about Ben today?
Ross: (answering the phone) Hello? (Listens) Hey Mon, hows the packing going? (Listens) Ben? Hes fine. Yeah, hes rightOh my God! (He looks over at the fake Ben and notices that the head has fallen off.) Get your head of your shirt there son! (He tries to push the pumpkin through the neck hole.) What? (Listens) Yeah, its a pumpkin. Ill come pack.
Phoebe: Now Ben, sometimes people may seem like jerks on the outside, but they have famous fathers.
Ross: (looking astonished) What? NO! I am not going to give them Ben!
The Casting Director: Actually, that can't happen. Yeah because you all have such different looks, we're putting you with Raymond and Kyle with Ben. So it'll be either you two (Points to Joey and Raymond) or you two. (Points to Kyle and Ben.) (Exits.)
Ross: Look Ben, it's a toy that protects U.S. oil interests overseas!
RACHEL: I don't know, you tell me. One minute I'm holding Ben like a football, the next thing I know, I've got two kids, I'm living in Scarsdale complaining about the taxes.
Ross: Give daddy the Barbi! Ben, give, give me the Barbi. Okay, how 'bout, don't you want to play with the monster truck? (makes a monster truck sound) No. Okay, oh, oh, how about a Dino-soilder? (squawks like a dinosaur)
Ross: Ben, you ready? All right, gimme your foot. Ok, on three, Ben. One, two, three. Ok, That's it, Ben.
Joey: (goes over to Ben) Hi Ben! So you wanna be an actor huh? I gotta tell ya, it's no picnic. There's tons of rejection. No stability. One day you're Dr. Drake Remoray, the next day you're eating ketchup right out of the bottle.
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Carol has come to pick up Ben.]
Ross: There's my boy! Here's my boy! And here's his Barbi (Ben is holding a Barbi doll) What's ah, what's my boy doing with a Barbi?
Rachel: Are you, are you, are you sure its ah, a new bump? I mean, no offense, Ive always thought of Ben as a fairly bumpy headed child.
Phoebe: (reading the nametag on the uniform) Hi, I'm Ben. I'm hospital worker Ben. It's Ben... to the rescue!
Ross: (thinking) How 'bout Ben?
Trudie Styler: I gather Jack and Ben havent been getting along lately.
Rachel: All this stuff takes up a lot of room. Hey how uh, how serious are you about keeping Ben in your life?
Ben: (prompting her) What did we agree?
Ross: Apparently, Stings son made fun of the fact that Bens moms are lesbinims.
Trudie Styler: Im told there are two sides to this story, but all Ive heard is that Bens a bit of a poo-poo head.
Ross: (pause) I think on some level, you-you sabotaged your own audition so that Ben would get the part.
Susan: I like Ben.
Ross: (to Ben) I know, I know. Everybody, there's someone I'd like you to meet. Yeah. This is Ben. Ben, this is everybody.
Carol: Ben. Ben. Ben's good. How come you never mentioned Ben before?
Phoebe: Oh, look at these! Hey, Ben. Just do it. (Ben starts to cry) Oh my God, oh, ok, was that too much pressure for him?
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there, Ross is showing pictures of his new baby boy, Ben, to the group.]
Ross: (to Monica): Could you take it to Carol's every now and then, and show it to Ben, just so he doesn't forget me?
Ross: And here's little Ben nodding off...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are showing off Ben to the gang.]
Carol: I guess so. (Carol starts to breast feed Ben.)
(Monica holds Ben.)
Joey: Ben, Ben, hey Ben. Nothing. I don't think that's his name.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol is dropping Ben off for Ross to watch.]
Joey: No, it's just ah, I care so damn much about little Ben that uh, it was more important to see him succeed.
Phoebe: Ben, dinner!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ben is playing in his crib while Chandler and Ross are leaning against the rim and are completely asleep.]
Rachel: They took Ben to the park. Where've you been?
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is holding Ben.]
Phoebe: Hi, Ben. I'm your father. I am... the head. Aaaaaahhhh.... (puts picture down, sees Ross staring at her) Alright, this barbecue is gonna be very fun.
Ben: Seriously, your dad doesnt like pranks.
ROSS: What about Ben? We can't bring a baby to a hospital.
ROSS: There we go. All better. (gives Ben back to Monica)
MONICA: There's my little boy. (Ben starts crying again)
CHANDLER: Can I uh see something? (Takes Ben. When he puts him close to Monica, Ben cries. When he moves Ben away, he stops crying.)
BOTH (but to different babies): Oh, Ben! Hey, buddy!
(Ben starts crying)
CHANDLER: Hey, Ben, remember us? Ok, the mole came off.
(Chandler and Joey are loaded down with baby stuff, and Ben)
JOEY: Well, well that one has ducks on his t-shirt, and this one has clowns. And Ben was definitely wearing ducks.
ROSS: I hope Ben has a little sister.
MONICA: Aw, my little nephew. Come here, little one. There's my little baby Ben. Hey, my little boy. Hey, he's not crying.
ROSS: Will you hold Ben for a sec? Come here. Come here.
MONICA: So your first whole weekend without Ben, what're you guys gonna do?
ROSS: Let me hold him for a sec. There. (Ben stops crying) Huh? There we are.
CHANDLER AND JOEY: (running after bus) Ben! Ben! Ben!
ROSS: Have a good time. Ok, Ben.
ROSS: [childishly] OK. OK, this is a picture frame from Ben to my parents, huh.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is working. Ross enters with Ben.]
RACHEL: Oh, yeah sure, Ok. [she takes Ben and holds him at arms length]
[Monica pushes Ben down the aisle in a stroller. Susan is escorted by both her parents. Carol is escorted by Ross.]
RACHEL: Uh, I'm holding Ben.
CHANDLER: Isn't Ben in this?
ROSS: Yeah. Ya know, a boy and a girl. Hopefully the girl will come first so Ben here won't feel too competitive.
RACHEL: Ok, we can do this now, can't we Ben? Yes we can, yes we can. [finishes the diaper] There. I did it. I did it. Look at that, oh, stays on and everything. Hi.
ROSS: Hi, we're visitiing. It's Ben and his da-da. Da-da. Can you say da-da? Look, I'm gonna tell your momies you said it anyway so you might as well try.
[at Ross's. Carol and Susan are picking Ben up]
RACHEL: Guess what. Ben just said his first word.
BEN: Hi.
RACHEL: Ben just said hi.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Richard and Monica are playing with Ben.]
BEN: Bye.
ROSS: Bye Ben.
BEN: Bye.
BEN: Bye.
BEN: Bye.
RACHEL: I'm sorry, what did you just say? Did you just say hi? Oh my God, Ross, Ross, Ben just said 'Hi'.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is still trying to get Ben to play with something other than the Barbi doll.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are dropping off Ben]
PHOEBE: [pauses the tape] Ok, Ben, this is the part where Ernie buries Bert in the sand and can't find him. Now, I've looked ahead on the tape and he does find him again. But, ok, before that happens, there's some pretty rough goin' for a while but I think we can handle it. And, there's just the alphabet but we know that ends well so. Ok, here we go. [starts the tape again]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are picking up Ben, while Monica is pouring chocolate syrup, lots of it, into her ice cream.]
Monica: (to Ben) Whos so brave, youre so brave, yes you are, youre so brave.
Monica: So, do you want me to watch Ben for you?
Ben: Monica.
Ben: Monica.
Ben: Monica bang!
Ben: Monica bang!