words in movies
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
Rachel: I am? Oh, look at that, yes I am. Enough about me, enough about me, Mr. Back from the Orient. Come on. I wanna hear everything! Everything. (Looks at Julie)
Rachel: Oh. Well then, you better go take that back because they're gonna charge you for that.
Ross: Rachel! I'll just call her back.
Ross: (calls Julie back) Hi? Sorry, we got disconnected... (Walks away.)
Monica: (to Phoebe) Please, just a little bit off the back.
Ross: (to Rachel) So, uh, he's back.
Rachel: Yeah, he's back. Is that a problem?
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. (Chandler and Ross stare at him) What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
Rachel: Well, first of all, Paulo and I are not back together. It was just a stupid thing I did, and if I could go back in time and do it again, well, I wouldn't. Um, second of all (Ross is laughing), what?
Ross: Ok. Well, before I say anything, I just need to know, is this one of those things where you break up with a guy, and then I tell you what I think, and then the next day you get back together with the guy, and I look like a complete idiot?
Ross: You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?
[Cut back inside, Joey is on the phone.]
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack! (throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in)
Rachel: (takes off her robe) Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} (In her head.) Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen naked! I'm picking up an orange. (Does so) I'm naked! (Goes into the living room) Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. (She backs anything that might have a point like a candle on her body away.)
Chandler: Make sure you put all that stuff back in the closet, okay?
Pete: Ah, no it's not. I've got picture-in-picture here. (to other caller) Yeah. (listens) Yeah, okay. I'm gonna have to call you back later. (pause) Monica? You. I'm gonna have to call you back.
Joey: Home sweet home, huh? Nice to, uh, get back to reality. Plus we know how the New Years gonna go off. I guess theres no reason for all that Y2K panic, yknow? Anyway, gnight!
Rachel: Cos I was gonna say theres no way you couldve done the end the way you guys did it back then!
Ross: I dont know, I mean you were a lot bigger, I mean, stronger back then.
(Joey nods yes, but suddenly realizes what he did and runs out of the apartment and back to his place.)
Rachel: Oh, okay see I thought, I thought you meant how much was it when it was new, yknow like back then.
Chandler: Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? (The phone rings and he answers it) (On phone) Hello? (Takes the phone away from his mouth when he realizes what he just did and yells.) Damnit! (Back on phone.) Hello? (Listens.) No, Joeys not here right now, but I can take a message I think. (Listens) Hes still got a chance for the part?! Oh, thats great news! (Listens) Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. (Listens) Oh well, thats great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! (Hangs up and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle.) Yes! (Reading what hes writing) Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. (Pause) By dog not flowers.
[Scene: The Street, Phoebe and Rachel are heading back from that Colonial flea market.]
Rachel: Joey, honey, I dont think youre supposed to go back there.
Joey: Well, I guess youre right. Maybe, maybe Ill take her down to the incinerator. Its gonna be so said, and kinda cool. (He goes to remove the back, but it doesnt come off. So he sits down in it, puts his feet up, stands up, and looks back at it.) Shes heeled!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is coming back from using the phone.]
Monica: (visibly upset) She picked Rachel. I mean, she tried to back out of it, but it was obvious. She picked Rachel.
Gunther: He can have his job back.
Rachel: Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him
Director: Alright were back! Ten seconds left here we go! Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! (He continues to count as we hear Joey think)
Rachel: (gasps) Oh, he brought her back to his apartment.
(Chandler and Monica enter from their room and Joey quickly hides the bag of potato chips behind his back.)
Monica: What? We took a walk, nothing happened. I can back with nothing all over me.
Joey: All right well, Id better take that back.
Monica: (hands the tape back to Joey, but doesnt let him grab it) Yknow maybe a little bit!
Joey: (sitting at the kitchen table with his back to the TV) You sick bastards!
Chandler: Theres no back to this couch!
Rachel: Ross! I think she is trying to make something happen with you to get back at me!
Rachel: Ross, I am telling you that she is using you to get back at me!
Ross: Youre welcome. (Gently kicks her back.)
Joey: Wh? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when huh what? Thurs(He gasps in horror.) Oh! (Runs out and Chandler just shakes his head. After a second Joey runs back in to grab a piece of pizza and runs back out.)
Rachel: But! Dont you have to give him his money back?
Ross: (putting the magazine back and holding the money for it) Okay.
Monica's Boyfriend: Yknow what honey? I got to get back to the hospital.
Gary Collins: Welcome back to our fall telethon. Now if you've been enjoying the performance of Cirque Du Soleil, (As he is speaking, Joey and the volunteer getting into a shoving match.) and you'd like to see more of the same kind of programming, it's very simple. All you have to do (Joey is knocked down.) is call in your pledge and at that time tell the operator, one of our volunteers, what kind of programming you'd like to (Just as the volunteer sits down, Joey pulls him to the ground.)
Rachel: Joey no, this is wrong! You have to take it back, okay? You dont want to win an award this way. Youre very talented. And someday youre gonna win one of these for real and that one is gonna mean something.
Joey: All righty, what do you say we head back to my place?
Joey: Thanks! (Looks at it.) Yeah, theres pulp in that. (Hands it back.)
Rachel: Oh Mon, listen I have to ask! Okay, Joey Tribbiani invited me back to his apartment, now does he do this with a lot of girls?
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait! You can put your sad little muffin back in its drawer. If you must know the truth, I didnt want to lose a perfectly good assistant.
Guy All the Way in the Back: Yeah, I heard it.
Monica: Say it louder, I dont think the guy all the way in the back heard you!
Ross: (Stepping in between them.)Okay! Okay! Thats it!! Parents!! Parents!! Back away!! All right, this is our wedding day! From now on everyone gets along, and if I hear one more word. NO GRANDCHILDREN! (Pointing at his mother.) Thats right!!
Ross: Yknow, if, if this is too weird for you, we can still back out at (A knock on the door interrupts him.)
Rachel: Okay. (She climbs back onto the couch.)
Phoebe: I thought Id try to take a walk. Would you pour me some water? Ill be back soon.
[Cut back to her room, Joey and Ross are sitting there waiting for her.]
Phoebe: Surprise! Look whos back!
Phoebe: All better! Back to work! Except this clown from research told me I was fired. He should do his research, huh?
Woman: Wow! Well, welcome back!
Rachel: I cant let him go out that way, hes got a meeting. (To Ross) Youve got something here on your back.
Rachel: (reading) 'Gone for more jars. Back later. Monica Geller.'
Chandler: (sticking his head back in) What?
[Scene: A hospital hallway, Chandler is sitting on a gurney with his hands spread out behind his back. Then Monica comes and plops down on the gurney and one of his hands. Chandler immediately recoils in extreme pain.]
Carl: (sticking his head back in) Hey, uh can I get a little piece of that cake?
(The women all clap and start to leave as Ross comes up to the instructor. Apparently he was hiding in the back.)
Rachel: Fine! Im sorry for your loss! (Hands it back to her.)
Monica: (pulling Rachel back down) Yes, they can stay with us.
Chandler: You dont, like go into the back of my closet, and look under my gym bag or anything?
Monica: (pulling the plate back) Oh-ho! But not in here! Cant eat em in bed, remember? No crumbies!
Phoebe: ...and then it goes back to the chorus... Smelly cat, Sme-lly ca-t / I-t's not your fau-lt. And that's the end of the song... I realise that you didn't ask to hear it, but uhm... no-one had spoken in seventeen minutes.
[Cut back to Central Perk.]
Monica: No. If you thought this mess is going to bother me, you are wrong! All right, let's go Blinky! (She ushers Rachel out the door, but before the door fully closes she sticks her head back in.) Chandler!!!! (Chandler agrees to clean up the mess.)
[Cut back to Joey about to leave for his audition for Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
(They go inside and Ross closes the door. When he turns around Elizabeth walks up to him, pushes him back against the door, and starts kissing him.)
[Cut back to Joey and Rachels apartment.]
[Cut back to the present.]
RACHEL: You give me back my sweater or it's handbag marinara.
Rachel: Y'know I cant believe I even thought about getting back together again! We are so over!!
Joey: Wow! (Back to reading the scene.) Well then Ill just have to carry you.
Phoebe: (To Ross) Hes holding us back.
Chandler: (entering) Oh good, okay, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore. So you win, okay? Here! (Hands him the 50 bucks he's about to owe him.) Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And Hornswoggle? What are you dating a character from Fraggile Rock?! (He sits down and sighs in relief.)
[Cut back to the present, they are still in each others embrace.]
Ross: Youre back.
[Joey's place. He goes to say something to Chandler in the other chair but no one's there. He goes to call Chandler but decides not to and throws the phone back down.]
Chandler: (on phone) Hi! Im back. (Goes to hang up the phone.) Yeah, that sounds great. (Listens) Okay. Well, well do it then. (Listens) Okay, bye-bye. (He hangs up the phone and turns around to see Joey standing close to him and screams.)
Phoebe: (gasps) Ohh, okay maybe they put your picture back up they can put you next to Matt Lauer. Look at him, smiling at me. (Giggles) Yeah I know; wed be great together!
Monica: Okay, Rachel, do you have any idea how painful it is to tell someone that you love them and not have them say it back?
Wayne: It can do this. (He moves C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm close to Joeys special area and he jumps back.)
Monica and Chandler: Three! (They lift up the covers and check each other out, then come back up with silly grins on their faces.)
Joey: Hey! So Im back.
Phoebe: Well, we were um, sorta invited to go skiing, y'know Rachels sisters cabin. (Chandler goes back to the window to smoke again.)
Elizabeth: (laughs) Ill be back in ten minutes.
Paul: Ill be right back. (He goes to get the ice.)
Paul: Okay. Ill be right back. (Gets up and heads for the kitchen.)
Monica: Im gonna go tell Joey that (laughs) that youre back. I was really worried about you. (Exits.)
(Joey and Ross enter causing Chandler to quickly hide the brochure behind his back.)
(Ross turns his back on Paul and makes a I hate that guy face. Paul does the same thing.)
Chandler: Okay look, don't...don't be mad okay? But after I unpacked the boxes I wanted to do something nice for you, so, I-I-I cleaned the apartment. So I moved everything around and then I forgot where it, where it went back and I'm sorry, I'm very sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Joey: Yes, its in my In in my pocket. (Paul hasnt dropped him yet.) (Chandler starts to reach for his front pocket.) My back pocket! My back pocket!
Joey: All right, lets get me back up there! (Holds out his picture.)
Rachel: Hi. Im back.
Chandler: Look, uh, just come later, we'll get everything squared away and you can come back later.
Phoebe: Oh! Oop! (Hands him back the ring.)
Phoebe: Okay. There may be a way that we can get the other ring back. Cause I heard the guy tell the jeweler where he was going to propose. So maybe we can get him to trade rings or something.
Joey: Hey, yknow what? Ill come too. Im making money now; its about time I give something back.
Monica: Oh my God, Richard. (Yep, Richards back.)
Joey: Oh my God, youre back!
Kristen: Oh okay. But yknow what? Be careful. Because a guy was helping me before had to leave because he hurt his back.
Chandler: Yeah, Ill sit down. (He slides back into his chair.)
Monica: YeahOh thats right. You, you always wanted me too. Hey, I see you got your mustache back.
Monica: Fair? Please dont even talk to me about fair! Fair wouldve been you wanting to marry me back then! Or fair wouldve been Chandler wanting to marry me now! Believe me, nothing about this is fair! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!