words in movies
JOEY: Yeah, my agent just called me with an audition for Days of Our Lives!
ESTL: Well, there's my favorite client. So tell me darling, how was the audition?
[Scene: Cole-Geddes Casting Agency, Joey is there on his audition and thinking about that 2,000 bucks for the twins study.]
Joey: Oh no, I cant go. Im practicing; I got an audition to be the host of a new game show.
Joey: Hey listen, so whens-whens my audition? I mean I know its Thursday, but what time?
Joey: (smile fades) What audition?
Estelle: So, how did your audition go today?
Joey: What? You never said anything about an audition!
Joey: I have an audition for this play and for some of it I have to speak French. Which, according to my résumé, I'm fluent in.
Joey: Well, I had the audition but Gunther said I had to stay here and be in charge so he could go get his hair dyed. So, I went anyway, and then he fired me.
Director: You know what. I think this audition is over. (Joey looks disappointed, but understands.)
Joey: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Ross: Why should Ben step aside? It was his audition in the first place! You-you just tagged along! You're like the uh, tag-a-long dad.
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, I can help you decide who should do it! Yeah, we could have like uh, like an audition and see how youd handle maid of honor type situations.
(The pianist starts to play, and Joey readies himself, and then runs out of the audition.)
Chandler: Oh come on guys, its not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it werent for (struggles to get this out) Monicas allergies. (The duck quacks.) Youre right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. (The phone rings.) Should I get that? (Laughs, then answers the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Uh no, Joeys not here right now. Can I take a message? (Listens) Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? (Listens) Okay great. (Listens.) Bye. (Hangs up the phone and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door but Monica walks in and forces him to jump out of the way.)
Joey: But I-I-I cant stay too long, I gotta get up early for a commercial audition tomorrow and I gotta look good. Im supposed to be playing a 19-year-old. (Everyone stops in their tracks upon hearing this.) What?
Chandler: (To Joey) We didnt get to the audition. Im gonna take her to coffee and then well do it then.
Estelle: (Looks confused) Let me start over. I just got a call about an audition. I think you can still make it. It's down at the Astor Theatre and you need to have a monologue prepared.
Joey: (reading the card) Whoa! This guy is like the biggest commercial casting director in town! (Ross gasps) Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition!! (Ross and Carol stare at him, then Joey realizes what he just said.) I mean, way to go Ben! (Gives Ben the thumbs up, which Ben returns.) Man! I've been in that park a million times and no one offered me an audition.
Joey: Well, I've been thinking about this whole commercial thing, y'know me going up against Ben, the two of us competing, and that can't lead to anything good. So, I think I'm just gonna step aside. I'm gonna tell them that I won't audition.
Joey: The part I want to audition for is a fireman, this is so meant to be!
Joey: (he goes out calling her) Don't move! Don't go! I need you! My audition is tomorrow! Shah blue blah! Me lah peeh! Ombrah! (he gives up). Pooh.
Joey: Well youre not selling the story! Its like; its like you dont believe it! Look, I gotta go. I got a date, but try this. Do what I do when Im preparing for an audition. Okay? Ill set you up with my video camera and you can record yourself and-and see what youre doing wrong.
Joey: Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today. The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message?!
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) What are you talking about? The auditions not til 5:00! (Chandler suddenly remembers and looks at the unfinished message then tries to sneak over and finish it as Joey listens.) Well, nobody told me! (Listens) Whod you talk to? (Listens and turns around to see Chandler trying to finish the message.) Nevermind! (Hangs up.)
Joey: More back talk. And yes, I may be borrowing a few lines from my recent unsuccessful audition for "Family Honor 2: Thissa Time Itsa Personal."
Joey: Uhh, well Ive got an audition down the street and I spilled sauce all over the front of my shirt. (Removes his hand to reveal a huge sauce stain.) You got an extra one?
Ross: (pause) I think on some level, you-you sabotaged your own audition so that Ben would get the part.
ROSS: Yeah. And you should hold out for something bigger. I can't tell you how much respect I have for you not going to that stupid cab driver audition.
Monica: So anyway, I'm cooking dinner for him Monday night. You know, kind of like an audition. And Phoebe, he really wants you to be here, which will be great for me because then you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' and make yummy noises.
ROSS: That audition.
RACHEL: Hey Joey, how'd the audition go?
JOEY: No, as part of the audition. See, I'm up for this part of this guy, who the main guy kisses.
Student: Guess what, I got an audition!
Phoebe: Oh, it's your audition from this morning. Can I use the phone again?
Joey: Oh, and guess what, I got an audition for All My Children.
Joey: Yep, that's my audition.
Joey: Awww, one of my students got an audition. Im so proud.
Director: Okay, and listen don't forget to bring your jazz shoes for the dance audition.
Joey: You were amazing, could you just do me this huge favor, you see there's this one other audition that I really, really want, and Estelle couldn't get me in.
[Scene: Joey's audition.]
Joey: (hanging up the phone) Yes! Guess who's in an audition for a Broadway musical?
Joey: So, does that mean the audition is off?
[Scene: Joey's dance audition, Joey is warming up.]
Joey: I have an audition, but Ill definitely hook up with you later. Where are you gonna be around noon?
ESTELLE: Look honey, people get fired left and right in this business. I already got you an audition for Another World.
JOEY: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
[Scene: Joey's audition, the director has returned and wants to see the combination.]
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
Joey: Oh! Yeah, look there's this play all right? And I'm up for the part of this real cool like suave international guy. A real clothes horse. So I figure that everyone at the audition is gonna be wearing this kinda y'know, ultra-hip, high fashion stuff.
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Annie! Hi. Listen we got a problem with Joey Tribbiani, apparently he missed his audition. Who did you speak to in my office? Estelle, no, I don't know what I'm going to do with her. No. All right, so your husband leaves and burns down the apartment, the world does not stop.'
Joey: (entering, with bag) Hey! I'm off to my audition. How do I look?
Chandler: Aren't you supposed to be at an audition for another hour?
Rachel: Okay now Joey, y'know that since you're returning all of this stuff right after the audition you're gonna have to wear underwear?
Rachel: (entering) Joey, what are you doing with the bag? You're audition is not until tomorrow.
Chandler: Hey man, how did the audition go?
[Scene: Joey's audition, he is with bag.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey returns from his audition and finds everyone but Phoebe there.]
Ross: Yeah y'know what? Maybe-maybe you didn't mess up your audition because you suck, maybe you messed up because you care more about uh, your godson.
Joey: (whining and heading toward the door) Look, it's too late, and I got an audition. I can't shop anymore! I...
Ross: All right, I gotta take off. I'm picking up Ben then we're off to the big audition.
Ross: (Pause) Yeah I am! Yeah, Ben got a second audition!
Joey: Hey! I'm in, they're gonna let me audition!
Ross: Listen man, uh, I'm sorry the audition didn't go so well.
Joey: Whoa, hey, maybe I'll go down there with ya and see if I can get an audition to play the dad. I mean who better to play Ben's father than his godfather.
Monica: Hey! How'd the audition go?!
[Scene: Joey and Ben's audition, Joey is rehearsing his lines, uh correction, Joey is rehearsing his line.]
[Scene: Ben's audition, Carol, Ross, and Ben along with about 10 more families are in a waiting room as Joey enters happily.]
Joey: Hi. Im Joey Tribbiani; Im here to audition for (Groans) man.
[Scene: Casting Director #1s office, Joey is on his first audition. His partner is an 8-year-old boy.]
Chandler: Well, I umm, I mean this is just off the top of my head now, umm but I have this friend. This actor friend and he would kill me if he thought I was doing this umm, but umm would it be possible for him to get an audition for your movie say on Thursday?
[Scene: Casting Director #2s office, Joey is on his second audition. This one is for Purina One Dog Chow, an actual item. Please note the gratuitous product placement.]
Dana: Absolutely! But you-you would really feel better about me rejecting you if your actor friend can audition for my movie?
Chandler: Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? (The phone rings and he answers it) (On phone) Hello? (Takes the phone away from his mouth when he realizes what he just did and yells.) Damnit! (Back on phone.) Hello? (Listens.) No, Joeys not here right now, but I can take a message I think. (Listens) Hes still got a chance for the part?! Oh, thats great news! (Listens) Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. (Listens) Oh well, thats great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! (Hangs up and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle.) Yes! (Reading what hes writing) Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. (Pause) By dog not flowers.
Joey: Hey, Gunther. Can you uh, can you cover for me? I just got an audition.
Chandler: Hey, buddy boy, howd the audition go?
Phoebe: Wow! That is a bad audition.
Ross: Oh, wait! Wait! Dont you have an audition today? Yeah! Maybe youll get that job!
Chandler: Its Thursday! How was the audition?!
Phoebe-Estelle: It’s a little coincidental, but believable. (Joey nods in agreement). Listen, I’m sure you’re wondering why I didn’t get you an audition for that TV movie.
Joey: Oh well listen, anyway shes directing the new Al Pacino movie. You gotta get me an audition!
Joey: Well you-you-you-you might say congratulations! I saw the board! I went to the audition! I got the part!!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Phoebe is helping Joey rehearse for an audition. Phoebe is overacting her part.]
Joey: Oh, very funny. I dont know if you remember, but my audition was supposed to be Thursday. (Chandler doesnt say anything until Joey figures it out.) You got me the audition?! Lets hug it up! (They hug.)
Chandler: Hey! Howd the audition go?
[Cut back to Joey about to leave for his audition for Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
Terry: Everybody has to audition.
Monica: Wait a minute, are you doing Joey's (sadly) "Audition didn't go so well. (Happily) Yeah it did?"
Carol: Is it a good sign that they asked us to hang around after the audition?
Estelle: (on the other end) Joe! Im glad I found ya, I got an audition for ya!
Terry: Here are the audition scenes. (Holds out the script.)
Joey: (looking between the pages and him) Audition? I thought you were gonna offer me the part.
Phoebe: Okay, so after this audition, who decides who gets it?
Joey: Because they wanted me to audition!
Joey: Like when I want a job, I go to an audition and if Im the best of the people they see, they give me the part.
Joey: Well, no not yet. But the audition went really good.
Joey: What? No! No Ross! No-no! Stop! Im not jumping! Okay, look I have an audition tomorrow and I cant go if I break my leg.
Phoebe: (To Joey) Oh hey! How was your audition?
Joey: (entering) Hey! You guys! Remember that audition I had a while ago and didnt get the part?
[The next one is from Episode 224: The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding, Joey has to kiss a guy in an audition and has been trying to find one to practice with.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Monica is throwing a party. Joey is talking to Ross about the bad audition he just had while pouring booze onto a snow cone.]