words in movies
Ross: And that's why, no matter what mommy says, we really were on a break. (baby talk) Yes we were! Yes we were! (picks Emma up) Come here gorgeous. (puts her on his knees and talks to her) Oh! Look at you! You are the cutest little baby ever! You're just a... a little bitty baby, you know that? But you've got... (in a softer voice) You've got big beautiful eyes... Yes you do... and a... and a big round belly. (emphasises the B's) Big baby butt! I like big butts. (raps) I like big butts and I cannot lie / you other brothers can't deny / when a girl walks in with an itty, bitty, waist / and a round thing in your face you get...(Emma laughs) Oh my God, Emma... you're laughing! Oh my God, you've never done that before, have you? You never done that before... Daddy made you laugh, huh? Well, daddy and Sir Mix Alot... What? What? You... you wanna hear some more? Uhm...(raps) My anaconda don't want none / unless you got buns hon... (Emma laughs again and Ross looks worried) I'm a terrible father!
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey sits at a table and Chandler and Monica enter.]
Joey: Uh, yeah... This guy at work got me excited about going in on an emu farm. That'd be kinda cool huh? Pitchin' in on the weekends, helping to plant the emus...
Joey: (laughs) Yeah! Right! (points at Monica) People eat birds... Bird meat... Now do they just fly into your mouth or you go to... you go to a restaurant and you say: "Excuse me, I'll have a bucket of fried bird." (laughs again) Or... or maybe just a wing or... (realises...)
Monica: Joey, I think you should consider something a little less risky. I mean, I think in this market, real estate is your best investment.The Fed. just lowered the rates and the interest on your mortgage is totally deductible. (looks at Chandler) That's right, I know some stuff!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Rachel and Monica are sitting at the dinner table and Phoebe enters, knocking on the door.]
Phoebe: Okay, so... allright... Which dress? (she holds up two 'Phoebe' dresses, Rachel and Monica look at them... taking their time, don't wanting to hurt Phoebe) You can say "neither".
Monica: (Monica looks at Rachel in disbelief) She said WHAT?
Phoebe: (speaking louder and articulating) That's she's like the daughter she never had. (Phoebe points at her ears) Listen! (Monica looks at Phoebe in a duh! way)
Ross: Yeah, and it was uhm... it was like a real little person laugh too. It was... it was like uhm... (Ross tries to impersonate Emma's laugh, but it comes out very squeaky, very high pitched. He laughs about himself but then looks at Rachel, realises that it sounded weird and straightens his face.) Only... only not creepy.
Chandler: We're not gonna have this conversation again... Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy? Pretentious art, this huge macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day crying about losing Monica to a real man! (laughs) You don't think he's here, do you? (Joey looks around)
Chandler: (Chandler looks around the place and his eye gets caught by Richard's video collection) Look at these videos. You know, I mean, who does he think he is? Magnum Force, Dirty Harry, Cool Hand Luke... Oh my God!
Phoebe: (no accent) Uhm... Okay, well, allright, uhm... Originally I'm from upstate, but uhm... then my mom killed herself and my stepdad went to prison, so... I just moved to the city where uhm... I actually lived in a burned out Buick LeSabre for a while... (frowns are received) which was okay, that was okay, until uhm... I got hepatitis, you know, 'cause this pimp spit in my mouth and... but I... I got over it and uhm... anyway, now I'm uhm... a freelance massage therapist, uhm... which, you know, isn't always steady money but at least I don't pay taxes, huh... (everyone in the room finds it a bit surreal, which Phoebe realises and starts to talk in the accent again) So... where does everyone summer?
Bitsy: Well, not at all...
Joey: You don't wanna see what I just saw! (at this moment Monica comes home, and sees Chandler flat on his back on the floor and Joey pinning him down)
Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)
Phoebe: No, no, no, I actually it's any baby animals: kittens, fish babies... You know... especially veal... and this, this nice vein of fat running through it... (she cuts the meat, picks it up with her fork and holds it in front of her mouth, which she keeps closed, trying to overcome her vegetarian thoughts... and... puts it in her mouth... Clearly not enjoying the meat...) Hmmm... yummy (everybody seems okay with it, except Mike. He's making a hmmmm.... face... Then Phoebe swallows it) Hmmm... (at first she likes it, but then, in an instant puts her hand in front of her mouth and runs from the table. You hear a door slamming.)
Mike: So...? What do you think? (looks at his parents, which look in disgust)
Joey: (laughs) Monica, look... I don't think you and I have any secrets anymore... (Monica keeps looking at Joey) Not ready to joke about it yet, okay, I see you later. (Joey walks out)
Chandler: Because that's who I am, okay? I'm sure a mature man like Richard could see a tape like that and it wouldn't bother him. Just'd be another saucy anecdote for him to share at his men's club over brandy and moustaches.
Chandler: This is about you and Richard. He's clearly not over you. He keeps a tape so he can... look at it whenever he wants.
[Scene: Mike's parents house. Dining room again. Both Mike and Phoebe are not at the table, but the others still are.]
Phoebe: Oh let me guess, and you wanna have them all at the same time and you wanna have them for your brother.
Monica: Really! That long?! (Chandler slowly turns and looks at her.) (To Chandler) Look all you want, its happening!
Phoebe: Dont you see? Everyones looking at me! The plans working! I didnt even have to take off my top yet!
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes telling everyone what she found out at Ursulas while sitting in Central Perk.]
Rachel: She is so good at throwing drinks in peoples faces, I mean I dont think Ive ever seen her finish a beverage.
Phoebe: Oh no not that guy there. That guy right there. (Pointing to an attractive man sitting at a table behind them.)
Rachel: (looking at the speed dial) Oh, I win! Hes got Barneys on his speed dial.
Chandler: Yknow that thing that Ross was gonna do at our wedding?! He was hanging out with me yesterday and he turned to me and said, "Youre half Scottish right?"
EDDIE: So I got it in the junior miss department, big diff. Anyway check it out man, it's gonna make a hell of a conversation piece at out next cocktail party, huh pal?
Monica: He cannot play at our wedding! I mean everyone will leave! I mean come on, that is just noise! Its not even a song!
Joey: Okay. Okay. (He goes out and comes back in, glaring at everything.)
Rachel: (turning and looking at Tom again) No-no they do but, you just have to wait.
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Dina is at the craft services table getting some food as Joey walks up.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to move Joeys chair and not having much luck at it as Joey enters.]
Chandler: You mean the guy who kept staring at your chest?
(Rachel looks bored. At this point, Rossa figment of Rachel's imagination shows up on the balcony and starts talking to her.)
Monica: No! We only mess around at his place!
Joey: No-no-no-no look no! I wont spit, and I wont stare at Monicas breasts! Yknow? Everyone knows Im an ass man!
Josh: So I'll see you at the party? Beer's beer man, 24, 7!!
Rachel: (looking at his mark) Yes.
Monica: (entering) Hey guys! Do you wanna look at the song list for the wedding? (They ignore her.) Guys?
Phoebe: Oh my God! (Joey looks at her.) Im sorry, too soon. You go.
Ross: No, hey-hey, come on, (He grabs Ben and sits him on his lap) Ben, Santa is not mad at you, okay? Hey, you're-you're his favorite little guy!
Phoebe: Oh my God! That guy at the counter is totally checking you out!
The Cute Guy: (To Phoebe) I thought you knew I was looking at you.
Rachel: Im fourth! (Joey is startled.) Look at you with your little maple syrup award!
RACHEL: (after a pause with everyone staring at her, she goes up to the microphone) Ya, know what Barr, I'm not gonna leave. I probably should, but I'm not, see 'cause I promised myself that I would make it through at least *one* of your weddings (da-doom-chesh). See now, tonight, all I really wanted was to make it though this evening with a little bit of grace and dignity. Well (laughing), I guess we can all agree that's not gonna happen. There's nothing really left to say except....(starts singing) "Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl. With yellow feathers (band joins in), feathers in her hair, and a dress cut down to there. She would..."
Rachel: Oh no, at the Grammies I always win.
Monica: Well, were trying to find someone to perform our wedding and theyre all either boring or annoying or yknow, cant stop staring at the ladies. (Points to her chest.)
Ross: Yeah! I dont know. I mean, last year Elizabeth now-now this kid. What-what-what-what is it?! Am I giving out some kind of sexy professor vibe? (Rachel and Joey both look at him.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is saying good-bye to her boyfriend Jake at the door to Central Perk.]
Phoebe: He said you poked at him with wooden spoons.
Rachel: (looking at the award) No! Joey!
(Ross glares at him.)
Joey: (looks at the ground and at Ross) I dont know Ross! I-I tell you what, lets flip to see who does it, okay? You-you call it in the air, all right?
Rachel: Sup? (Joey glares at her.)
Receptionist: Were actually at the end of one of our research cycles, so were not looking for applicants right now.
Karin: Actually, Im dating at all anymore. See, I figured out that I was only dating guys that were like yknow bad for me, so until I work that out
Rachel: (entering from her room) Honey, we have to go. Our reservations are at 8:00.
Rachel: (laughs) Well okayWell dont ruin it! Just play along at least!
Joey: What the?! (Joey pounds the table and starts yelling at Rachel, and which is drowned out by applause. Rachel is desperately trying to tell Joey that hes on TV right now. He finally notices and he does his gracious loser face.)
Monica: (To Ross) Cassie needs to stay at your place.
Ross: Fine, she can stay at my place. By the way, what-what does Cassie even look like now.
Monica: Because Purvry Perverson over here cant stop staring at her.
Chandler: I was not staring at her. Okay? I was just listening intently. Its called being a good conversationalist. Watch. (Stares at Monicas eyes.) Say something.
Monica: Wow! Wow! And its definitely all gone? Theres nothing there to work with? (Joey glares at her.) What were you thinking?
Rachel: Have at it.
Phoebe: Okay but look! Look at what I got! Its her address book! (Holds it up.) We have a guest list!
Ross: (shocked at her beauty) Cassie?!
Joey: (glaring at her) Is there a problem?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the counter as Monica enters carrying a tray.]
(Suddenly, everyone stands up and comes out of hiding. All of them are glaring at Monica.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe, still defying reality, are now throwing a bouquet at each other, pretending to catch the actual bouquet at an actual wedding.]
Gunther: Oh umm, uh we dont sell cigarettes, but they have them at the newsstand across the street. (Points.)
Rachel: Wh(Turns and looks at the gang whos staring)Why dont I tell you over here? (She walks Melissa away from the gang.)
Rachel: Oh no-no, no! Its good! Its all good! I-I actually work at Ralph Lauren!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica is busy killing Chandle and Joey at foosball.]
Joey: Hey Rach. (Stares at her.)
Monica: Oh! (Gets up) Lets see, well if this is the wedding hall then umm (Walks away) youre parents will be at home in Queens.
Monica: (looking at him) What?!
Rachel: Oh wow. Why dont we just take me (Grabs her pin) and put me with a Manhattan in my hand, talking to the cute bartender. (Puts her pin at the bar and laughs. Monica just glares at her.) These pins arent for playing are they?
Joey: Listen, I know the invitation says 6:00, but does that mean that you want people to get there at six, or the show is gonna start right at six?
Monica: The wedding starts at six.
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is at the kitchen table and Chandler is in the living room.]
Chandler: (watching in her) (in his head) Look at her go! She must love me more than I love her! Whats wrong with me? Ooh, dont open that door.
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah! (Monica glares at her.)
Chandler: Oh, yknow-yknow what, I was looking at it upside down.
Joey: (To Rachel) Hey, I was pretty close. (She just glares at him.) Uhh, so bad news. Umm, I cant buy the boat, I dont have any money.
(He turns to look at Joey who smiles slyly and closes the door leaving them alone.)
Phoebe: Well lets just say its shes lucky she has a sweet ass, cause shes not so good at the writing.
[Cut to Phoebe in Rosss new apartment looking at Monica and Chandler and what theyre about to do in The One Where Everybody Finds Out.]
Rachel: Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
Rachel: Aww, look at the little thing.
Ross: Looks like a fun gang. (They all look at each other and smile)
Phoebe: Okay, I can fix this! Okay Monica, Rachel thinks all you can talk about is the wedding. (Rachel glares at her.)
Monica: Chandler! Hes your father; he should be at the wedding.
Monica: Oh, that's Nana, right there in the middle. (Reads the back) 'Me and the gang at Java Joe's'.
Phoebe: Yeah! Sure! Ooh, I left my purse up at Monicas. Ill be right back. (She goes to get it.)
Chandler: Are you serious?! I mean like eloping?! No more stupid wedding stuff?! No more these flowers or these flowers or these flowersThink of the money well save!! (Monica just looks at him.) Were not eloping. I love the flowers. Can our wedding be bigger please?
(Rachel spins the bottle and it lands on .wait for it .Joshua. (You thought I was going to say Ross, didnt you?) Rachel squeals in delight and starts a slow sexy crawl over to Joshua, making sure he and everyone else watching gets a good look at her cleavage.)
Monica: Hey, the point is that he was at everyone of your swim meets and he was there cheering you on! Okay? Thats a, thats a pretty great dad.
Monica: Chandler, youre not fourteen anymore. Okay? Maybe its time that you let that stuff go. If your fathers not at your wedding youre gonna regret it for the rest of your life.
Rachel: No! Yknow what? No! No! You thing was so stupid anyway, this was ridiculousWere gonna flip a coin! (Phoebe gasps.) All right?! (She flips the coin.) Heads! (Looks at the coin and grunts in disgust.)
Phoebe: Or! I should rush through dinner with Joey and I can meet David at 9:00!
[Scene: Las Vegas, we have the typical glamour shots of Vegas and the strip before we arrive at 4 Queens bar, where Chandler and Monica are sitting at a table waiting for the show to start.
Chandler: It cant happen like this. Okay? Ill meet you back at the hotel.
Helena: (standing at a table and asking the guy sitting there) Where are you from?
Helena: We? (Looks at Monica who nods.)
Monica: (looks at Chandler) In in two weeks.
Chandler: Well, I'm off to Tulsa, so if your Maitre D. friend has any funny Oklahoma jokes, tell him to e-mail me at www.hahanotsomuch.com.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is working on her book at the kitchen table, Monica is on the couch, and Chandler is entering from the bathroom carrying a package of toilet paper.]
Joey: Pantyhose! Yknow? They way they start at your toe and go all the way up to here (He mimed that and stops when he realized he went to far.) I should go take these off shouldnt I?
Monica: Im making a list of all the things that are most likely to go wrong at the wedding. Now, that way I can be prepared.
Monica: (looking at her hand) Yknow what shoes would look great with this ring? Diamond shoes! (Sees Chandler sitting on the bed.) Youre not getting dressed. (Chandler quietly folds over the comforter on the bed making a spot for her.)
Monica: Hey, do you realize that at this time tomorrow well be getting married?
Monica: Ohh, Im so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean its really, its made me stay calm. (Chandler just looks at her.) I coulda been worse!
Joey: Damn! I am good at Cups!
Joey: Thanks. Yeah, I figure if I wear these in my scenes at least I wont get spit in the eyes, yknow?
Ross: Yes. Yes. Dont worry. Everythings fine. Well uh, well see you tomorrow at the wedding.