words in movies
[Cut to Gary and Monica at the counter.]
Monica: He just told me at the counter. He made me promise not to tell, but I couldn't hold it in any longer!
Ross: (he catches the ball and pauses, staring at Joey in disbelief) Also an island.
Ross: (looks at his watch) 2:17.
Ross: Wow! We are pretty good at this! Hey! We totally forgot about lunch!
(Joey turns and looks at quite possibly one of the ugliest pets that you can possibly buy on the planet. Rachel has bought herself a hairless cat. Yep, a hairless cat! Joey and Ross start to get sick.)
Rachel: Ugh! Look you guys, I'm really excited about this! Okay? I don't care what you think! I'm gonna go set up a little litter box for Mrs. Whiskerson. (They both glare at her.) Well, what am I gonna call her? Fluffy?!
Ross: I know! (Looks at the ball in his hands.) Don't switch hands, okay?
Chandler: Hey ladies! What are you in here for? (Laughs at his joke.)
Rachel: You guys this cat is nothing like my grandmother's cat. I mean, it's not sweet, it's not cute, I even dragged that little string on the ground, and it just flipped out and scratched the hell out of me. And I swear, I know this sounds crazy, but every time this cat hisses at me I know it's saying, "Rachel!"
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Ross, and Monica are still playing catch, with Chandler looking on. Joey throws the ball to Monica who catches it and whips it at Ross.]
Monica: Look, if you want you can keep it at our place until you find out what to do with it.
Gary: Okay, I'll see you at the station later.
Gary: Nothing at all?
Phoebe: (looks at the paper) Are these for rent! I thought people were just bragging!
Gary: Let me tell you what I think might be going on. (Phoebe looks down in shame.) No-no-no, don't look at the table. Look at me. (Points to his eyes and she does so) Okay, I think somebody asked someone to move in with them. And I think someone said, "Yes" but now she's having doubts because things are moving to fast for someone. Does that sound at all possible to you?
Gary: Phoebe, it's okay that you feel this way. I mean it is soon. And there's a lot of things we don't know about each other, and I just figure that everything I really like. And the things I don't know, I get to learn about at someplace with both our names on the mailbox.
Phoebe: Oh wait, one sec. One sec. (Goes to the mirror) Hey you! Behind the glass! Who are you looking at! I've always wanted to say that when I was in one of these rooms, (sees the look on his face) which was never!
Rachel: Oh no! No! It's actuallyit's very sweet. It's very sweet. Look! (Goes to pet it and it hisses at her.) Yeah, do you want it?
Rachel: Well, I do, but you're just gonna have to actually look at this as more of an investment than a cat.
Rachel: (makes some unintelligible sound to stop her from leaving) Obviously you know how to haggle, so I'm not gonna try and take you on. Okay? So $800 and I don't call the cops because you're robbing me blind! Blind! (Covers her eyes) Just take cat, leave the money, and run away! Run away! (Uncovers her eyes and sees that the woman has fled) Damnit! (To the cat) Cat, can't you at least smile or something?! (The cat hisses at her again, it sounds like Rachel) Okay, did anybody just hear that? Anybody?
Monica: All right, there's some pizza at my place, we can all eat with one hand right? Are you with me?
Monica: All right! Let's go! (Runs to the door.) Let's go Team Monica! (The guys all stop and stare at her) All right, we can work out the name later.
[Cut to her apartment where Rachel is sitting at the table.]
Rachel: Phoebe! It's 6 o'clock in the morning! Why aren't you at Gary's?
Rachel: No, I meant with the dropper over here. (Points at Chandler.)
Rachel: (looking at her truffle) Look at it, isnt it beautiful?
Rachel: No. Joey, she knows! We were at Ugly Naked Guy's apartment and we saw them doing it through the window. (Joey gasps) Actually, we saw them doing it up against the window.
Monica: Umm, I just wanna say, uh (reads from a 3 X 5 card) that with a pinch of exictement, a dash of hard work, a dollup of cooperation, we can have the recipe... (Looks up and sees eveyone glaring at her) Are you gonna kill me?
Monica: Oh my God! No wonder I get such great service at Cafe Maurice.
Chandler: Ho-oh, hes gonna get some! (Rachel looks at him.) Of the glare from the streetlight out of his apartment. Yknow so umm, hes closed the drapes there so he can have a nice, pleasant conversation with your little sister. (Pause) Well, Im off to bed! (Goes to bed.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
[Ross glares at Monica.]
Joey: Wow! Cool! (He takes the guitar, stands up, and goes to play a note. However, while strumming it, he knocks it out of his hands and it bounces off the table and lands on the floor. Phoebe just stares at the guitar.)
Monica: The strange part was, he was really nice, umm and he looks great, but I didn't feel anything at all!
[The Gellers glare at Monica, shocked]
[The Gellers glare at Ross.]
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: Yes. (They look at Chandler angrily.)
[The Gellers glare at Monica.]
Monica: Ross hasnt worked at the museum for a year!
[The Gellers glare at Ross.]
[The Gellers stare at Ross. Ross looks at his parents with an afraid, shocked look.]
Ross: I am so over Janine. I mean, yeah, at first I thought she was hot, but now shes like OLD NEWS!
Chandler: What, what are you laughing at?
Monica: (faking joy. Rubbing her stomach and smiling at the same time, like Joey said) Mmmm! Its good!
Director: Heres whats gonna happen. The musics gonna start, youre gonna dance, were gonna tape, you dont look at the camera. Any questions?
Chandler: Yeah, we could do that without yknow risking our lives at all!
Chandler: I couldn't find anything at Joey--Hey-hey, oh hey!
Joey: Yeah, yeah, okay. Uh, look buddy, I came with that girl, and I had this plan to kiss her at the new years countdown Im trying to win her over, so I was wondering if..
Ross: Oh when you beeped me I was on line at the concession stand at the movie theater.
Joey: Uh, take a look at the guys pants! I mean, I know you told us to show excitement, but dont you think he went a little overboard?
Phoebe: No, dont look directly at them!
Phoebe: Alright, no, we could look at them!
(Rachel leans over to look at him.)
Chandler: Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? (The phone rings and he answers it) (On phone) Hello? (Takes the phone away from his mouth when he realizes what he just did and yells.) Damnit! (Back on phone.) Hello? (Listens.) No, Joeys not here right now, but I can take a message I think. (Listens) Hes still got a chance for the part?! Oh, thats great news! (Listens) Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. (Listens) Oh well, thats great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! (Hangs up and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle.) Yes! (Reading what hes writing) Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. (Pause) By dog not flowers.
Rachel: Ugh, the worse day! Yknow, you think youre making progress at work and then your boss calls you Raquel.
Monica: Hey, isnt weird to think about how next year at this time theyll be a little baby at the table? (Chandler turns around in horror.) (Seeing him) Rachels! But good to know where youre at!
Joey: Yeah baby! (Chandler glares at him.) No baby!
Chandler: Look at us, were a couple of couples!
Rachel: Okay fine! Ill-Ill just tell her its an antique apothecary table, she doesnt have to know where it came from. Oh! Look at this little drawers! Oh look-look it says that it holds 300 CDs.
Joey: Oh, but hey look, at least let us bring the wine.
Phoebe: Maybe, maybe I'll dance for you. (She starts doing a rather suggestive and seductive dance that's silly at the same time.)
Rachel: Yeah no, I mean it was at a flea market, so it was yknow, it was like a dollar.
Phoebe: 500 bucks at a flea market?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, all six are playing Pictionary at Monica's apartment. Monica is drawing a picture, and the three guys are guessing. She draws what looks like an airplane.]
Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, (points to Ross) married a lesbian, (points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (points to Joey) threw a girls wooden leg in a fire, (points to Chandler) livin in a box!! (goes to her room)
Ross: I got it at Pottery Barn!! Okay?!
Phoebe: Oh Ross, calm down, Ill give you the 80 cents. (Ross glares at Rachel)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are sitting at the kitchen table.]
Phoebe: (entering and sitting down at the table.) Hello. My name is Regina Phalange. I'm a businesswoman in town on business. Would you like to see my card? (Looks down) Ooh, what did I do with my file-a-facts? I must've left it in conference room B.
Ross: (glaring at Rachel) Fascinating.
Ross: Hmm, a lot of this stuff is from Colonial times. Hey, what are some other time periods Rachel? (She glares at him.)
Phoebe: Well at least I got these sheets for Ross.
Phoebe: Uck, look at this! Pottery Barn, yuck!
Rachel: Yeah, yknow what? Dont look at it. (Realizes the display is their living room) Seriously, dont look at it. (Tries to pull Phoebe away.)
Phoebe: But at least the apothecary table is real.
Monica: (steps up and points at her) All right! You and me! Lets go! Right now!
Joey: I was just outside Barcelona hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo. I was at the end of this path and I came to a clearing and there was a lake, very secluded. And there were tall trees all around. (Whispering) It was dead silent. Gorgeous. (Softly) And across the lake I saw a beautiful woman bathing herself but she was crying
(Rachel is looking at the magazine and laughing.)
Joey: Lets go watch it at your place.
[Scene: Joeys apartment, Joey is sitting at the counter as Chandler enters.]
Ross: Yeah, um, I don't know if you noticed, but he had a lot to drink, and you know how he gets when he's drun..uh... (He has caught sight of Joey scowling at him) I can't do this, I did it, it was me, I'm sorry, I kissed your mom.
Chandler: (picks up the phone) All right, you want to see if the joke stealer will let us watch the show at his place?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Rachel are on the couch looking at the Playboy magazine. When they hear someone coming, Monica goes to hide it under the sofa cushions.]
Rachel: We are looking at a Playboy.
Phoebe: And then. I would use y'know the strongest tool at my disposal. My sexuality.
Gunther: Okay, but the moneys good, plus you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want.
Monica: (angrily) It wasnt funny at all! Why would you do that? Why didnt you pick me?
(Gunther looks at the joke and laughs.)
Cop: Yeah. I mean, I coulda done it better, but these people keep staring at me.
(He looks at Rachel and winks, she gives him the thumbs-up sign.)
Ross: See, I would never snap at you like that.
Monica: Oh, wait, is he the guy I met at Christmas?
Monica: (laughing harder) Nothing, Im just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place the other day. (To Phoebe) Remember, when you picked Rachel over me? That was funny.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting at the kitchen table, talking.]
Chandler: Joey! (Pause as they all stare at him.) No way. Im not answering that.
Chandler: (stops laughing, to Ross) You are not allowed to laugh at my joke.
Chandler: Hey, what are you doing here? Shouldnt you be at work?
Ross: When you put a D at the end of Fine youre not fine.
Rachel: This is Chandler. (Points at him.)
Chandler: I dont wanna know what Monica got me. Yknow? I mean, look, Im sure she worked really hard at getting you a present, and wanting to surprise me, and you guys are gonna ruin that, and I, look we have to put these back, this is not what Christmas is about.
Chandler: Eh, theyre both good. I generally just go with, Monicas drunk again. (Monica glares at him.)
Chandler: All right! Thats fine! Thats fine! I wont bring over the chairs! I wont bring anything over! I wouldnt want to ruin the ambiance over here at Grandmas place!! (Storms out.)
Chandler: Boy did we make friends with the wrong sister! (Rachel glares at him.)
Ross: No, no. (Distractedly putting on a jacket to go out) I mean, it mighta been at first, but by now I, I think Im pretty comfortable with the whole situation.
Ross: A little? Your place looks like page 72 of the catalogue. Oh look at that! The ornamental bird cage! Large!
(They both look at her.)
Jill: (hits him) Shut up! I did not sound like that at all!
Rachel: That is great. Hey, yknow who doesnt have to job hunt? Ross. He works at the university.
Ross: Umm, he said he thought I was funny. So (Rachel stares at him.) Okay, look-look umm, let's just go downstairs, we'll have some fun, and you will forget all about it.
Chandler: Oh what is it honey, you need some tea? Some soup? (He gets up from the couch and goes into the bedroom to find Monica, still in the robe, lying seductively on the bed. Or at least shes trying too and as he enters the room, she takes the robe off on of her legs.) Oh-ohhhh!
Chandler: Okay, I thought of the joke two months ago at lunch with Steve.
Monica: She's living my life, and she's doing it better than me! Look at this, look. She buys tickets for plays that I wanna see. She, she buys clothes from stores that I'm intimidated by the sales people. She spent three hundred dollars on art supplies.
Ross: Rachel! Well, you-youre not at home, youre-youre-youre right here.
Monica: (entering with Chandler) Who? (She looks out the window at Rosss apartment) Is that your sister?
Joey: Nah, its okay. Right, Gunther? (Winks at him as if theyre in on a secret together.)
Joey: I cant believe Ross went out with Rachels sister! When Chandler made out with my sister I was mad at him for 10 years.
Phoebe: Oh, nobody's judging you. (They all turn and look at Ross.)
Joey: No! Its not okay! Its not okay at all!! Youre dead inside!!
[Scene: Central Perk, time lapse, Rachel is at the counter as Jill enters.]
Rachel: All right, all right, well you just blew your chances at dating Bob!
Joey: (sitting at the kitchen table with his back to the TV) You sick bastards!
(Ross begins to say something, realizes what Gunther just said, turns, and glares at Chandler. Chandler just shrugs it off.)
Chandler: I think its great that you work here. Youre going to make a lot of money, and heres your first tip: Dont eat yellow snow. (He laughs, then picks up a pen, glares at Ross, and writes in his journal). Ah ha ha, 2:15, coffeehouse.
Rachel: Ross! I think she is trying to make something happen with you to get back at me!
Rachel: Ross, I am telling you that she is using you to get back at me!