words in movies
(Chandler picks up the timer being used and turns it to zero at which it chimes.)
Chandler: Oh! Look at that, time's up! My turn!
Ross: (glaring at Joey) This would be the place where you explain the hat.
Joey: Oh! Yeah, look there's this play all right? And I'm up for the part of this real cool like suave international guy. A real clothes horse. So I figure that everyone at the audition is gonna be wearing this kinda y'know, ultra-hip, high fashion stuff.
(All at once.)
Phoebe: It was really sweet. The last thing she said to me was; "Okay dear, you go get the eggs and I'm gonna get the yogurt and we'll meet at the checkout counter." And y'know what? We will meet at the checkout counter.
Joey: See look, women, carrying the bag. (He puts it on his shoulder and looks at himself in the mirror and likes what he sees.) But it is odd how a women's purse looks good on me, a man.
(As he walks past both Chandler and Ross notice the bag and stare at each other in shock.)
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Rachel: (glaring at him) Joey
[Scene: Phoebe's Grandmother's memorial, Phoebe is at the door welcoming people.]
Joey: (approaches, wearing his glasses) Hey you guys, check it out. Check it out. (Moves his hand towards and away from his face.) It's like it's coming right at me. (Chandler helps out a little bit by pushing on Joey's arm, which causes his hand to slap him in his face.)
Phoebe: He said, "Nice to meet you Glenda." (They stare at her, dumbfounded) Well, obviously I couldn't give him my real name?
Phoebe: Well, I said, I told him y'know, that I was the executor person of Francis' will and that I needed to talk to him so I'm gonna meet him at the coffee house later.
Phoebe: Umm, no, not at first 'cause I-I don't want to freak him out
Ross: Well, but aren't you pissed at him?! I mean this guy abandoned you! I gotta tell you if this were me, this guy would be in some serious physical danger! (Getting worked up) I mean I-I-I'd walk in there and I'd be like, "Yo, dad! You and me outside right now!" (Calming down.) I kinda scared myself.
Monica: Well, at least you scared someone.
Monica: I'm not crying about that! I'm crying about something that happened at work.
Chandler: It's okay, you don't have to be the best at everything.
Monica: Oh my God! You don't know me at all!
Frank Sr.: Well Lilly, when you see Lilly would you give her that, that note? Because I wanted to talk to her at the memorial but, well I pictured her getting mad at me the way you got mad at me and I well, I chickened out. So, uh, I wrote her that note, would you give it to her please?
Frank Sr.: I just, I y'know, I'm not very good at this. So, umm (Backs away.)
Monica: (to Rachel) Look at you with all the guys!
Ross: What? (turns around to look at Rachel)
Rachel: Hello. (to Gavin) But you know what, hey, new day, new leaf, I am just really really happy ... (sees Gavin staring at Heather) I'm sorry, obviously Heather's ass has something more important to say so I'll just wait 'till it's finished.
Joey: Im just so nervous! Yknow? The callback isnt until tomorrow at five. I feel like my head is going to explode!
Chandler: (looks him in the eye) I'm not breaking up with her! (they stare at each other for a while, then Joey blows in his face)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is looking at the ring he bought and not liking it.]
[Scene: At the counter. Ross is sitting there, drinking. Phoebe approaches him.]
(Rachel just stands there staring at Joey and Charlie in silence. After a while, Ross turns around and sees them.)
Rachel: I don't know why Joey had to kiss her! I mean, of all the girls at the party, GOD!
(Joey and Charlie enter. Ross looks at her)
(Ross and Mike glance at each other then both suddenly turn to Phoebe who is gone. �They sheepishly exchange glances.)
Rachel: No, really. Really, Pheebs, youre not gonna be the one worrying about saving for college, or yelling at them when theyre bad, yknow, or deciding to put them on Ritalin when they just wont calm down. Yknow?
[Scene: At the Spa, Phoebe is at the half-opened door]
Chandler: I'd love to stay, but I have eh... (points at the cup) got a hot date... (starts to leave)
Rachel: (to the cowgirl) And you are so in style right now. Yknow, I work at Ralph Lauren and the whole fall line has got this like equestrian theme going on. I dont suppose you saw the cover of British Vogue, but
Phoebe: Well, you promised me a fun road trip! Weve been on the road six hours and youve been asleep for five and a half! We are switching at the next rest stop and you are going to drive all the way back! That will be your punishment, you greedy sleeper!
(David puts his napkin up to his mouth and starts laughing at his own line. Matt notices him after a while and starts laughing as well.)
Janice: Oh! Sid is still in his room. I don't allow porn at home so this is like a vacation for him. So did you do it? Did you make your deposit?
Janice: What, you can do it in the parking lot of a Taco Bell, but you can't do it at a doctor's office?
Charlie: (to Joey) So, I have to go shopping today, which is my least favourite thing, I'm soo bad at picking out clothes!
Charlie: Oh, well, we can go see the Chronos Quartet at the Avery Fisher Hall.
Chandler: (looking at the picture of the female reproductive system) Wow! Fortunately she has a very pretty face!
(Dr. Connelly glares at Chandler)
Chandler: Is that a hint? Because we love you Doctor Connelly but we don't think we'd want you to be our child! (Dr. Connelly glares at him) Wow, talking about an inhospitable environment!
Janice: Oh! Someone's a little cranky today cuz they have to do it in a cup! (laughs) Oh! They gave you the kiddy size (looking at the cup in his hand).
Ross: Wait a minute, you guys. Oh, I wanna ask you something. I-I I may get to speak at this paleontology convention and if I do, I'd love for you guys to come and hear me.
Joey: All right, so. How did it go at the fertility clinic?
(Turns to look at Professor Sherman, only to discover that he is sleeping)
Phoebe: Well normally I dont, but yknow (looks at the TV) Green Bay is playing.
Rachel: (yelling at the stranger) Alright! Enough out of you!
Monica: This would be a beautiful place to get married, yeah, but I wouldnt put the aisle there and I would never have the ceremony there! (Points to both places.) I mean youd have the ceremony under this big beautiful arch. (The arch at the entrance to the room.)
(Zack comes out of the bathroom. They all sit down at the table.)
Ross: Guess who's up for keynote speaker at the National Paleontology Conference?
Phoebe: Oh! I'm sorry Rachel, I don't have time for your childish games, ok? I still have to go find something incredible to wear so I can beat Mike at "who's more over who"! (at which she walks away)
Rachel: (staring at him) Whno, but yknow who did stop in here looking for ya, Tennille.
Ross: (very excited) Look at all these paleontologists!!
WAITER: (with tray and two drinks)� Excuse me.� Um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar.
(Everyone looks at her)
Monica: At least you took me down with you!
Phoebe: Have you thought about what you would be giving up? You can't move out of the city, what if you want Chinese food at 5am? Or a fake Rolex that breaks as soon as it rains or an Asian hooker sent right to your door?
David: Well, I was probably going to do it at some point.
Phoebe: Sure! Look, ok, bottom line: I love Mike... David! David. I love David. Don't look at me that way, Roseanne Rosannadanna!
Chandler: (at the laptop) Oh, no, no, no dear God, no!
Chandler: Well, you must be pretty mad at yourself right now...!
Chandler: Well, I tried Billy Jean King, but... (Ross glares at him) you know, you and Monica have the same "I'm gonna kill you" look...? I can usually make it go away by kissing her... (Ross continues to glare at him and Chandler leans in as if he's going to kiss Ross)
Rachel: You know, this happens all the time to my computer at work.
Charlie: Oh wait, Joey and I are supposed to have dinner (Looks at Joey).
Chandler: Hey! (Grunts as Ben hits him at full speed.)
Ross: Yes, but I did make a pyramid out of the bath products. This is amazing, thank you, thank you so much. (he leans in, and they look at each other for a moment) That's a pretty necklace.
Chandler: So great things are happening at work and in your personal life!
Rachel: I know, that old lady at the end was ready to take you home.
(David and Phoebe sit down at a table close to Chandler and Monica's)
Phoebe: (smiles at him happily for a few seconds before answering) No!
(the paleontologist glares at Chandler)
Chandler: How can she be great if shes from Poughkeepsie? (laughs, at they all look at him) That joke wouldve killed in Albany.
Ross: Oh, I can't tell you how great it was to look at the crowd and see your face! I mean... uh, did you know you were (giggles) mouthing the words along with me?
(Ross giggles, but Charlie isn't amused at all.)
Joey: (bewildered) Oh! Oh, well! At least we're both having fun!
[Scene: Rachel's hotel room. Joey is standing at the door, facing Rachel]
Phoebe: (looking at Mike) Oh, yeah! (turning to Chandler) Are you telling me you... you're not even... a little turned on by Monica, right now?
(David produces the ring. At the same time, Mike walks in, behind David)
(They start playing and Chandler does not suck at all)
Chandler: Tonight?! (looks at the ring) Isn't an engagement ring supposed to have a diamond? (squints at the ring to emphasize how tiny the diamond is) Oh, there it is!
Rachel: Ooh! You guys are so lucky you are here with people, you known it's such a romantic place. That's all, I just wish I could (looks at Joey who is at the check in desk) share that with a guy.
Monica: Oh, the way you crushed Mike at ping pong was such a turn-on.You wanna...? (plays with her finger on Chandlers chest)
(Phoebe starts to listen at the other wall, where Rachel's room is. There, Joey and Rachel are kissing.)
(They are still listening at the wall, when Ross enters their room)
(Monica and Chandler's room. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler have their ears pressed against the wall, and Joey looks at them)
Rachel: (now looking up at the ceiling) That is hard to say, Ross. That is hard to say.
Chandler: Not quite. Monica's still at the salon, and I'm just finishing packing.
Phoebe: Aaah... you're not good at this...
Mike: I'll tell her that it's over tonight at dinner. I promise.
Rachel: Look at that woman sitting by the pool getting tan... so leathery and wrinkled, I'm so jealous!
Rachel: Excuse me! (and she walks back to Joey, who is still looking very impressed about what Ross said to him. Rachel looks at him and hits him.) You didn't tell him, did you?
Chandler: So if you want people to see them, then by definition you're not having them taken out... say, at the break of dawn?
Monica: Oh, I can't wait for everyone at work to see these... (plays with her hair to make the shells tingle again) Ow!
Phoebe: Okay, bye. Alright, so Mike's on his way over. See, you thought you guys were meeting here, and he thought you were meeting at the restaurant, so you know... Doesn't really matter who's right or wrong. Point is... I'm gonna take off.
Chandler: You can't move at all?
Joey: Yeah! Good night! (they give each other a small kiss on the mouth, and stare at each other for a while)
(Rachel looks at him.)
Joey: Oh what, did someone outbid you for the teapot? (Chandler looks annoyed at him and Joey leans in to him) Oh! Secret teapot?
(Monica glares at him.)
(Little Chandler is pulling Chandler's sweater, while Leslie is throwing bagels at him.)
Frank Jr.: Oh, that's Frank Jr. Jr. pulling the tampons out of the lady's purse. And that's Chandler climbing on Chandler, and that's Leslie throwing bagels at him.
Charlie: Actually.. It's stuff you left at my apartment.
Chandler: (To the nurse at the nurses' station) My specimen is in the room and I just want to thank whoever knocked on the door while I was in there. Really helped speed the process along! (walks towards the common area and sees Janice is still there) Janice! You're not... gone?
(Monica looks at him.)
(Ross chokes up and pauses. Rachel and Joey look at him.)
Ross: I got held up at Dr. Gettleman's office. There was some guy that freaked everybody out.
(The triplets stare at him.)
Chandler: Oh, I see what you mean, that's quite nice. (They look at each other, both embarassed)
Joey: Naa, no. This is the part I'm actually good at.
Ross: (looking at Monica's legs) WOW!
Chandler: Hey! Stop staring at my wife's legs! No no! Stop staring at your sister's legs!
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Carol is working on something at the table and Ross is reading a newspaper on the couch.]
Joey: All right, turn around, I got to get a look at this thing.
Ross: She... she only dates geniuses and Nobel Prize winners. Oh my God, at the chinese restaurant earlier today, I put chopsticks in my mouth and pretented to be a woolly mammoth.
Joey: I'm sorry! (He stands up) This never happened to me before! I'm an expert at taking off bras! I can do it with one hand! I can do it with my eyes closed! One time I just looked at one, and it popped open! I blame your bra!
Chandler: I was just at the bank, and there was this really hot teller, and she didnt ask me to go do it with her in the vault.
Ross: (looks at her suspiciously) How do you count to five?