words in movies
Chandler: (looks over at her) Sure, nice.
Ross: Me too. I'm good at it.
[We get back to the Class of '91 reunion, where Ross and Chandler are still looking at Missy.]
Donny Osmond: Yeah! Welcome, it is Soap Opera week here on Pyramid, let's meet our contestants. First, Gene Lester is a database specialist, he's gonna be playing with "Days of Our Life's" star Joey Tribbiani! (Joey's amazed at the place and he keeps looking around till he realizes the audience is applauding him)
[Scene: Joey's at the game show "Pyramid" with host Donny Osmond.]
(someone knocks at the door)
(he uses his remote to turn on the music, "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell, and starts dancing for Phoebe. He shakes his butt, moves his shoulders back, grabs his crotch and hops towards Phoebe. Phoebe is half horrified and half scared. He takes his hat off and throws it away, does some "Can Can" high kicks and swings his butt in front of Phoebe who looks at it in disgust. Then he tears open his shirt and shows her his chest and she flinches.)
Roy: Didn't do anything? I took a bus all the way from Hoboken. I climbed ... I dunno... like a billion stairs... It's not like I can take them two at a time!
Phoebe: Oh yeah, okay. I'm uptight. Yeah, that's why I don't want to watch a middle aged guy dance around in what I can only assume is a child halloween costume! (turns to look at Monica and Rachel who look like they feel very sorry for the stripper)
Roy: I may have borrowed this from my nephew, but let me assure you, what's underneath (points at his groin)... is all man.
[Scene: At Pyramid. Joey is with the woman now.]
(Camera goes to Joey. The clock is at 20 sec. The word "Legislature" appears. He looks at it blank faced and his eyes shift between Henrietta and his screen)
Joey: Oh, .. uh... uh... pass. (Next word: "Rotunda") Pass. (Next word: "Filibuster" stares at it a moment) Pass. (Henrietta is looking very confused) (Next word: "Addendum" 4 seconds remaining) Okay, the little thing that hangs down at the back of your throat.
(Chandler looks at the other two guys, embarrassed)
Chandler: (to the two guys) Excuse me. (Chandler and Ross move away from them). That didn't make us sound gay at all!
Chandler: I believe the foundation of our friendship was unfortunate hair. (Ross just stares at him) All right, look, if we're really gonna do this... it's not like you never broke one of the pacts.
Monica: I can't believe we are at a real college party! (Rachel laughs excitedly) I have to pee so bad!
Rachel: Yeah, Rachel. And this (points to Monica) is Ross' sister, Monica. We met at Thanksgiving. (looks around the room as if searching for something more interesting to do).
Chandler: (smiling at Monica) Right. (to Rachel) So how're you doing?
Chandler: (sighs) Just one more thing. I was so pissed at you that night that I wanted to get back at you. So I thought, who does Ross like the more than anybody?
Monica: That's weird. I've had the same number of beers as you and I don't feel anything at all. (Chandler approaches)
[Scene: Monica's apartment. The stripper is sitting at the kitchen table. Monica, Rachel and Phoebe are standing around him]
Ross: Nineteen Eighty Seven. The weekend you guys visited me at school.
[Scene: Back at the party in 1987. People are dancing to "Disco Inferno" by The Trammps.]
(Monica is dancing. At first she seems insecure and moves slowly, but then gets into the groove and swings her hips from side to side while holding her hands up. She then eats the last piece of pizza she was holding and again moves her hips from side to side, pushing her hands in the air in beat with the music. Her moves get more wildly while she's snapping her fingers. She loses balance and falls back onto a pink bean bag.)
Rachel: Excuse me! (and she walks back to Joey, who is still looking very impressed about what Ross said to him. Rachel looks at him and hits him.) You didn't tell him, did you?
Chandler: So if you want people to see them, then by definition you're not having them taken out... say, at the break of dawn?
Monica: Oh, I can't wait for everyone at work to see these... (plays with her hair to make the shells tingle again) Ow!
Phoebe: Okay, bye. Alright, so Mike's on his way over. See, you thought you guys were meeting here, and he thought you were meeting at the restaurant, so you know... Doesn't really matter who's right or wrong. Point is... I'm gonna take off.
Chandler: You can't move at all?
Joey: Yeah! Good night! (they give each other a small kiss on the mouth, and stare at each other for a while)
(Rachel looks at him.)
Joey: Oh what, did someone outbid you for the teapot? (Chandler looks annoyed at him and Joey leans in to him) Oh! Secret teapot?
(Monica glares at him.)
(Little Chandler is pulling Chandler's sweater, while Leslie is throwing bagels at him.)
Frank Jr.: Oh, that's Frank Jr. Jr. pulling the tampons out of the lady's purse. And that's Chandler climbing on Chandler, and that's Leslie throwing bagels at him.
Charlie: Actually.. It's stuff you left at my apartment.
Chandler: (To the nurse at the nurses' station) My specimen is in the room and I just want to thank whoever knocked on the door while I was in there. Really helped speed the process along! (walks towards the common area and sees Janice is still there) Janice! You're not... gone?
(Monica looks at him.)
(Ross chokes up and pauses. Rachel and Joey look at him.)
Ross: I got held up at Dr. Gettleman's office. There was some guy that freaked everybody out.
(The triplets stare at him.)
Chandler: Oh, I see what you mean, that's quite nice. (They look at each other, both embarassed)
Joey: Naa, no. This is the part I'm actually good at.
Ross: (looking at Monica's legs) WOW!
Chandler: Hey! Stop staring at my wife's legs! No no! Stop staring at your sister's legs!
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Carol is working on something at the table and Ross is reading a newspaper on the couch.]
Joey: All right, turn around, I got to get a look at this thing.
Ross: She... she only dates geniuses and Nobel Prize winners. Oh my God, at the chinese restaurant earlier today, I put chopsticks in my mouth and pretented to be a woolly mammoth.
Joey: I'm sorry! (He stands up) This never happened to me before! I'm an expert at taking off bras! I can do it with one hand! I can do it with my eyes closed! One time I just looked at one, and it popped open! I blame your bra!
Chandler: I was just at the bank, and there was this really hot teller, and she didnt ask me to go do it with her in the vault.
Ross: (looks at her suspiciously) How do you count to five?
(Chandler starts looking at her bra)
(Chandler resumes staring at Monica's bra)
Joey: Uh! (When she's done she throws her bra at him)
Rachel: Ok (starts to light some candles) Sexy, sexy, very sexy, sexy. (Claps her hands and jumps at Joey, clearly very excited) Alright! Lets do it!
Phoebe: Her name is Precious? Is she a purebreed or did you pick her up at the pound?
(They both enter the apartment again, where Amanda is "dancing" for Chandler, but she's really terrible at it)
(Ross enters the room, takes off his robe and enters the booth. He stands with his back to the nozzles and then realises that this booth has nozzles at both sides of the wall)
(Monica and Phoebe look at each other and leave the apartment again)
(Rachel and Joey are still looking at Chandler, slowly letting his words get to them)
(They look at each other for a while)
(They both stare for a while, and then look at each other)
Rachel: Oh, what is wrong with me lately? I mean its like every guy I seeI mean look here. (Points behind them) Look at that guy for example, I mean normally thats not someone I would-would be attracted to, but right now, with the way Im feeling, all I want to do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack.
Judy:(to Jack) Jack, look at this.
Joey (staring at the cake): Uh.. is it ok that I still think it looks delicious?
Phoebe: Oh, okay that explains it. I got a call at two in the morning, but all I could hear was, like, this high squeaky sound, so I thought okay its like a mouse or a opossum. But then I realized where would a mouse or a opossum get the money to make the phone call.
Monica: No! Wait! If anybody gets to go.. it's us (Points at herself and Chandler) We've been complaining the longest!
Joey: Hey, dont get religious on me, ok. (Ross looks a little confused.) A guy in your position needs to be a little better at relaxing. You know. Why do you think we have the comfortable chairs? Huh...come here sit down. (Ross sits down.) Ready? (Joey flips the foot rest up.) Ahh!! (He reclines the chair fully.) Ohh, yeah!! Huh?!
Monica: (to the dog) What are you barking at?
Ross: (looks back at the cake) Hey!
Rachel: (she looks at the cake) Oh my God! Look what... you made it into a bunny. How did you do that?
Mr. Geller: Look at her, my first grandchild.
Phoebe: (pointing at cake) Hey, you made it into a bunny.
Phoebe: (yelling at the top of her voice) Go, go, go Alan! Run you, hairy bastard!
(Joey looks at them, disappointed about their decision)
Chandler: I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something. Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door. "Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks that Santa is real."
(they start kissing but someone knocks at the door)
Phoebe: Excuse me, anniversary. Excuse me, anniversary. (looking at her ticket). Uhm, sir, could you move your nachos... they’re in my seat. It's my anniversary. (to Mike) Here we are! (Mike nods). Can’t believe it's been a whole year!
Phoebe: YOU’RE SO GENEROUS AND KIND AND (crowd stops cheering) YOU'RE AMAZING IN BED (everyone hears it and stare at them.) (to everybody) IT’S OUR ANNIVERSARY!
Joey: Hey, finished my recommendation. (he hands it over to Chandler) Here. And I think you’ll be very, very happy. It’s the longest I ever spent on a computer without looking at porn.
Chandler: You know what? You don’t need a thesaurus, just write from here, (points at his own heart) your full sized aortic pump.
Phoebe: We were at the game, and this guy proposed to his girlfriend on the big screen thing...
Joey: (yelling at her) I’M CURVY, AND I LIKE IT!
(Rachel and Ross turn around and look at Phoebe and Joey with puzzled expressions on their faces.)
Chandler: She's right! If I were a guy and... (stops himself mid-sentence...everyone stares at him) Did I just say if I were a guy..?
Monica: How about at a game, on the big screen?
Rachel: Ross, I'm telling you, she's giving up getting her eyebrows (points at her own to emphasize the word) shaped to do this alright? Do you understand how important that is in our world?
(Rachel looks at Ross and her agrees silently)
Joey: Great, I'm finished! In fact, I just dropped it off at the agency.
Joey: Yeah, and don't worry. I didn't try to sound smart at all! See ya later! (Leaves)
(Rachel looks at Emma)
Phoebe: Oh, god. So adorable. Look at them sleeping there like angels.
Rachel: What the... DIAL IT DOWN! (Joey goes to sit on the bed) Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! (looks at Joey, who's totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little!
Ross: Did she (points at Amy) do this to her? I told you we shouldn't have left Emma with her!
Ross: (sees how strangely Monica, Chandler and Rachel are looking at him) What?
Chandler: Hey! Monica can be cool and fun at organized indoor projects!
Ross: (pointing at Amy, shouting) No more falafel for you!
(Amy looks at Ross, angrily. Rachel clearly doesn't understand what he meant and looks at Ross who gestures "later".)
Rachel: (looks at Ross and then at Amy again in disbelief) What?
Mike: Why do you keep looking at the screen?
Amy: Yeah well, at least now people will know she is a girl!
Phoebe: That woman at the game didn't know what she was talking about. Mike, obviously you have balls.
(Mike's face changes from happy to sad, and he looks at the cake, disappointed.)
Ross: Look, you were right. She looks at me and sees a friend, that's all. But then I met Julie, and I don't know, we're havin' a great time. And I have to say, I never would've gone for it with her if it hadn't been for you.
[Scene: Mike and Phoebe at a restaurant.]
Mike: At one point near the end she deliberately defecated.....
(Chandler turns to look at Monica, who has the biggest hair ever, is flushed and in a sweat, and is decidedly sniffing her armpits)
(They kiss again, and Phoebe looks at the ring.)
Phoebe: Dead. (everyone is a bit upset) Oh, it's OK, no, he was old, yeah! And he lived a full life, he was in the first wave at Omaha Beach.
Ross: Guess who's a finalist for a huge research grant! I'll give you a hint, he's looking right at you.
Phoebe: (looking at Monica entering) Hey!
Chandler: We're not gonna have this conversation again... Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy? Pretentious art, this huge macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day crying about losing Monica to a real man! (laughs) You don't think he's here, do you? (Joey looks around)
Ross: (shocked and confused by the question) What? I... I... (Benjamin looks at him as if to say "What's wrong? Answer the question")
Phoebe: Yknow, I bet it would actually make my grandmother very happy to know that were trying to figure out her recipe. I bet shes l-l-lookin up at us and smiling right now.
Joey: (Yelling at Chandler) And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape! (goes back to his room and slams the door).
Rachel: (jumps at the chance to make that happen) Oh! There's nothing above your bed!!
Rachel: Well, why I told him it's haunted. Two can play at this game. (gives Gladys to Monica)
Chandler: (pointing at himself) Little people?
Joey: (pointing at himself) Celebrity.
Ross: No, no, no. The next time it's gonna be a Hawaii at sunset. [pause] But maybe the time after that!
Joey: Yeah, but for a one-year-old. What's the point... the other day she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow and the cow says "El-moo"! (Joey starts laughing) Yeah... that's a funny cup!
Monica: That’s right. You’re making a commitment and that’s the same, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it?
Laura: Well, I'm sorry I brought it up. So, are either one of you planning on staying at home with your child... (someone knocks on the door)
Amy: You didn't want me to marry the old guy with the great apartment. Then, I tried to help your daughter to de-emphasize her flaws (frantically pointing at her nose) And suddenly I am the bad guy?