words in movies
Monica: Do you realize this is probably the last time well all be here in the coffee house as six single people?
Ross: No, its Its not that. Umm, now what Im going to say to you, Im not saying as your friend. Okay? Im-Im saying as it as Monicas older brother.
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Joey: Whoa! Okay. Yeah well, who-who was in World War I? (Rachel pauses as she thinks.)
(She exits and as Chandler picks up his coat, the phone rings and the answering machine gets it.)
[Scene: The Rehearsal Dinner, Chandler and Monica are greeting guests as they arrive. A woman enters.]
Mr. Geller: I didnt even have a chance to act as though Im okay with it!
Ross: Dad dad, please! As I was saying umm, Im Dr. Ross Geller. Uhh, and Im the best man. And uh, this marriage is doubly special for me umm, because not only is the groom my best friend but uh, the bride is my little sister. And, shes the greatest sister a guy could ask for. So if youd all please join me in raising a glass to the, the couple were here to celebrate. (Everyone does so.) To the Bings.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is wearing sunglasses and as he exits his bedroom, Ross enters the apartment.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe and Rachel are in the kitchen as there is a knock on the door. Rachel answers it.]
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is getting his make-up touched up as Richard approaches.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is behind the counter as Ross enters looking for Chandler.]
Phoebe: I know! Monicas gonna have a baby! Hey, can this count as her something new?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is just hanging up the phone as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
Chandler: The Bings have horrible marriages! They yell. They fight. And they use the pool boy as a pawn in their sexual games!
Rachel: The nights are the hardest. (Checks her watch.) But then the day comes! And thats every bit as hard as the night. And then the night comes again
[Scene: Monicas Hotel Room, Chandler and Monicas parents and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Mrs. Bing: As I recall when we got married, I saw the groom in the wedding dress.
The Director: Im sorry Joey, as long as hes here and hes conscious were still shooting.
Richard: As were you.
(And as Joey walks out the door, Richard grabs a bottle of Scotch, just as the door closes and carries it with him.)
Rachel: (leaning in) As are you
Joey: (entering) Thats my line! (He walks up the aisle and to the rabbi) I can take it from here, thanks. (To all) Dearly beloved, Im sorry Im a little late. You may be confused by this now, (Hes still in costume) but you wont be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, lets get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? (Monica is shocked and looks around.) We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. Ive known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as Ive left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica?
Joey: Oh! Hey right! Not a problem. (He starts taking off his clothes.) I totally understand. You need to yknow make sure I dont have any horrible scars or tattoos. Dont you worry; I have nothing to hide. (He drops his pants and stands back up and looks down.) So there you go, thats me. (We cut to a camera angle looking at the casting director and movie director through Joeys legs.) One hundred percent natural! (Suddenly, theres a thud as something falls off.) (Everyone is shocked.) I tell ya, that has never happened before.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica has hit a writers block as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is writing letters as Rachel enters.]
Joey: Ha-ha-ha, very funny. Look, I dont know what to do! (Long pause, as everyone cracks up.)
[Cut to Central Perk, same as before Joey is entering.]
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
(As shes saying that Joey is to pull out a chair and sit down, only Matthew comes running in from off camera and dives for the same chair.)
Joey: Pheebs! (He looks down as he goes down the step to make sure he didnt fall again.) Check it out! (He starts laughing when he realized what he did.)
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, its actually Joey and Rachels. Phoebe is trying to convince Rachel to switch with her and live with Monica as Joey looks on.]
Ross: Can you say Da-Da? See, Im gonna tell your mommies you said it anyway, so you might as well try
Ross: Its Ben and his Da-Da. Da-Da? Can you say Da-Da? Yknow, you might as well say it because I told your
Conan: When you have to do physical business for a scene, I mean there must be; there must be a lot of funny moments when you have to physically do a task as part of a scene.
Chandler: So? Would you care to join me in our first dance as husband and wife?
Announcer: Presenting the award for Favorite Supporting Actress is Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives. (Applause as Joey angrily walks to the podium and eyes the trophy.)
[Cut to Chandler sitting down near Joey as his mom walks over. His birth mother, not the mother who recently visited one of those clinics in Sweden.]
Rachel: Sure, but come on, as big as your wedding?
Monica: You-you gotta take it now. Come on, do it as a present to me.
[Joey walks back inside just as Rosss dance is finishing.]
Phoebe: A little mirror that when you look into it you see yourself as an old woman.
Joey: Sure I do! Its a verb! As in, "I behalfin it!"
Pete: Its okay, its not as bad as it looks, its a precaution. Ah, Im not supposed to move my spine.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting on the couch as Phoebe enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are entering. As Phoebe is sitting down, she recognizes someone sitting at the counter.]
Phoebe: Bye! (Phoebe goes over and joins Monica on the couch.) We said good-bye at the door so as not to flaunt our new love.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Obsessive Monica has finished opening all the presents. Shes ashamed of this, at least, because as someone enters ]
[Cut to Monica and Ross leaving Joey and Chandlers hotel room in London. As they exit Joey and Chandler enter from the bathroom with both of their pants down around their ankles.]
Phoebe: Of course I do! And Im gonna give it back to you as soon as theyre done with it at the key shining place.
Ross: Oh well I may as well have!
Phoebe: (pauses as he figures out how to answer that) Because Im normal! That was the one legacy my grandmother left me, and I know you wanted it as an engagement present.
Front Desk Clerk: As a wedding gift to you, the hotel would like to give you the honeymoon suite.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are there as Rachel and Ross return from the doctors appointment.]
Rachel: Okay. (Opens the card and reads it.) Happy birthday Grandma! Its better to be over the hill (starting to cry) then buried under it. (Breaks down as everyone glares at them.) All our love Monica and Chandler. (Crying) Thats funny, yeah!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is reading a cereal box as Ross enters wearing the red sweater.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the counter as Ross enters.]
Joey: Oh, its great! Its a great place to just kinda, sit, hang around, drink a few beers, eat some chips. (He says that as he sits, hangs around, drinks a beer, and eats a chip.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is looking at the tape sitting on the counter as Ross enters.]
(Ross grabs the tape and heads for the VCR as Rachel goes over and puts the chain on the door and locks it.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is getting coffee as Phoebe enters.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is eating at the counter as Joey enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is in the kitchen as Phoebe enters.]
Chandler: Allright, I'm gonna watch it... I mean look, it's probably not even what I think it is... And even if it is... It can't possibly be as bad as what I'm picturing in my head... (laughs nervously) Can it?
{Transcribers Note: Tradition was broken here as there were no commercials immediately after the opening credits, just more show.}
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is reading a magazine as Tim enters.]
(Ross continues to talk to her as the camera pans to show Rachel standing in the doorway.)
Rachel: Yeah. Sure. (Throws some in her bag and she walks away as Phoebe, dressed as Supergirl walks up and eyes Monica who eyes her back.)
Ross: (entering) Hey! (Hes wearing a costume as well.)
Monica: What?! Come on I am tough! Punch me right here! (Her stomach) As hard as you can!
Phoebe: Hello handsome. (Sees Ursula over her shoulder) Oh God. (Walks away in shame as they kiss.) Oh look at you two. So when did you guys meet?
Chandler: Joeys gonna be thrilled! He was hoping youd come by as a slutty nurse.
(Shes interrupted by a loud crash and the sound of braking dishes. Followed quickly by another crash. Everyone turns and looks at the back room, as Gunther emerges.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the party continues with Rachel leaning on the counter as Gunther walks in carrying candy.]
David: The good thing about the young kids though, theyre completely unpredictable. Which is a lot of fun as an actor to respond with. But there was one story
Rachel: No, I also had to go to a couple houses with him as his girlfriend. Oh, I am just awful with children!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is sitting in the living room as Monica enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there as someones cell phone starts to ring with one of those fancy ring tones.]
(Pause as they both take another sip of coffee.)
Monica: Okay. (As Brenda exits Monica notices something.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is eating pizza as Joey returns from the Knicks game.]
Phoebe: (simultaneously as Eric) Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!
[Scene: Erics Apartment, hes resting on the bed as Phoebe enters.]
Eric: (simultaneously as Phoebe) Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! No! No! No!
Rachel: You mean the one that youre wearing? (Adjusts Monicas pink bra strap as Monica looks down her shirt.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Chandler are sitting on the couch and chair as Phoebe is getting coffee.]
[Scene: The Hallway, Monica is sitting on the step as Rachel returns.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, everyone's there; Phoebe recites the last verse of a poem to Joey. This poem is known as "The Night Before Christmas" by Clement Clarke Moore, but it seems that it's rather "Account of a visit from St. Nicholas" by Henry Livingston.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are at the counter as Ross enters.]
Joey: Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea. Okay well, we can put screens here, (In front of the crib.) so that the baby has privacy, and-and-and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uhOh look! Heres a baby monitor (Holds it up), which until the baby comes we can use as walkie-talkies. Huh?
Monica: So dont think of it as a bachelor party, think of it as a a two month anniversary present.
Monica: (entering quickly) Shes a hooker! Shes a hooker! Shes a (Stops as she sees her.) Hi! Uh, we spoke on the phone. (Goes and shakes the hookers hand.)
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, Ross is opening the door to Mona. Rachel is there as well.]
[Scene: Monicas Restaurants Kitchen, shes cooking as one of her waiters, Stu, comes over to talk to her.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is reading What to Expect When Youre Expecting as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
[Scene: Cousin Frannies Wedding Reception, Monica and Ross are sitting at the table, alone as a woman approaches.]
(Phoebe joins Chandler on the couch as there is a knock on the door which Monica answers.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is trying on a pair of new boots as Chandler enters.]
(They all politely laugh and stop just as quickly.)
Mr. Geller: Sweetheart, we love you just as much as Ross! Now, Im sorry about everything that happened and Id probably never be able to make it up to you, but heres a start. (He hands her a small box.)
(Joey goes to get coffee and Rachel exits as the camera pans to Phoebe and Ross on the couch.)
Joey: Hey! Im an (does the quote-marks thing as well) actor too! Im not sure. I think theyre taking the ferry out to some Italian place on Staten Island.
[Scene: Central Perk, the next day Rachel, Phoebe, and Chandler are there as Monica enters.]
[Scene: The Hallway, Monica is returning, but before she enters the apartment she stops on the step and changes from wearing tennis shoes to the boots and she moans in pain as she puts each boot on.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is looking around the shop as Phoebe returns from getting some more coffee.]
Rachel: All right Joey! That is enough! (Grabs him and pulls him away from Bobby and Dina) Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, its not legal. Okay? They-they dont have a marriage license, they dont have any witnesses, and the groom only has on one shoe!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is putting out some Sunflower seeds as Rachel enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are there as Mona enters.]
[Scene: Chandlers Office, his boss Doug is entering, Monica is there as well.]
Chandler: As in Barbara Streisands husband James Brolin?
Chandler: Oh uh, as it turns out, we cant do it. Monica has to work.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is eating dinner as Chandler enters.]
Ross: Yeah. The bartender said that they split up into two search parties, the herbivores and the carnivores. (pause) You know, we as a group are not the coolest.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is getting ready for her date with Joey as there is a knock on the door.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is there as Phoebe enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: Besides, I-I think I figured out a much faster route, Im sure I can make it this time. I just I just cant be afraid to get a little bit hit by cars. (He goes to the bathroom as Joey enters.)
Mr. Geller: Have a seat son. (You can see Mr. Geller sitting closer to the door as Chandler walks over and sits in his lap.) Hey!! (Chandler quickly jumps off and sits next to him with a shocked expression on his face.)
Joey: Ah! Okay, well then you dont judge me. Im gonna suck on the cellophane from the brownie I had before. (They both do as they planned.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Monica comes from the bathroom as Chandler enters.]
[Scene: The Doctors Office, the doctor is writing something as Rachel is on the table, and Ross is standing.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Chandler is sitting on the couch watching TV as Monica comes out of the bathroom.]