words in movies
[Scene: Ugly Naked Guy's apartment, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are checking out the place. Luckily, Ugly Naked Guy is nowhere to be seen.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are there talking about Chandler and Monica.]
Rachel: (To Phoebe) So umm, how-how are we gonna mess with them?
Chandler: Well, I try to y'know, squeeze things. (Phoebe giggles uncontrollably.) Are you okay?
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler and Monica are there, of course. Like who else would it be, duh!]
Monica: You are so cute! How did you get to be so cute?
Monica: What are you talking about?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, and Chandler are there. Monica is entering from her room.]
Rachel: Hey Mon, what are you doing now? Wanna come see a movie with us?
Chandler: Are you serious?
Monica: Oh man, they think they are so slick messing with us! But see they don't know that we know that they know! So
Rachel: You should find out what his hobbies are and then use that to bond with him. Yeah! Like if I would strike up a conversation about say umm, sandwiches. Or uh, or my underwear.
Rachel: Are you kidding?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica and Rachel and Phoebe are planning their respective strategies to break the other pairing. Joey is not amused.
Phoebe: So, here we are. Nervous?
Chandler: And hats off to Phoebe. Quite a competitor. (Pause) And might I say your breasts are still showing.
Ross: Oh Donald that-that would be great. I am totally ready to come back to work. IWhat? (He notices something through the window.) No! Wh What are you doing?!! (Dr. Ledbetter is slowly backing away.) GET OFF MY SISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Phoebe: Monica, you might want to remember that you are married. Where is Chandler anyway? (Looks around)
Joey: (pulls out a fork) All right, what are we havin? (Starts digging in.)
Joey: Oh my God! I didn�t feel a thing ! Hey, are you still looking for a job because you can tweeze circles aroundthat sadistic bitch at the saloon
Ross: Of course you would, your brains are smaller than mine!! (Rachel nods) Man, I can't compete with the guys she goes out with, they are so out of my league! oh my God!
Ross: (covering with his hand Chandler's face, like pretending he's not there) (to Monica) There're these two professors who are joining my department and I have to meet them here and show them around campus.
Dirk: Hey! So what show are you on?
Bitter lady: Well, I bet you are all thinkin' "Now would be a really great time for an intermission", huh?
Joey: Ah, let me see! (she hands him a pile of tissues) Damn, that's a lot of guys! Are you a little slutty?
Joey: Ross, you should know that my pants are startin to come down and Im not wearing any underwear!
Ross: Uhm no! Think less of you! No, I don't think less of you. I mean, you saw someone you liked and you kissed them. I mean, those people who like someone and don't kiss them... those-those people are stupid, I hate those people.
Joey: Come on in, how are ya?
Phoebe: (watching around and whispering) Ok, are they listening?
Phoebe: Hey Ross! So listen, about you and the dinosaur girl, are you really just gonna let a couple of Nobel prizes scare you off? What is that, come on, a piece of paper?
Ross: (looking down) Are you wearing two belts?
Chandler: I have a weird feeling about this place. (pause) How do I know that they are not gonna secretly videotape me and put it all over the internet.
Chandler: Why are you here?
Monica: Hey, honey, my test is down the hall, are you sure you're going to be ok?
Rachel: (to the cowgirl) And you are so in style right now. Yknow, I work at Ralph Lauren and the whole fall line has got this like equestrian theme going on. I dont suppose you saw the cover of British Vogue, but
Rachel: (Sees Phoebe's slippers through the hole) Wow... I really love your... (startled as she realizes those are Phoebe's slippers)
Janice: Oh, Chandler, look. You and Monica are meant to have children. I am sure it's gonna be just fine.
Joey: Okay. Rachel and Phoebe are already there, okay? So they probably started without us. We could just slip in and no-one needs to know where we were! (he raises his hands and on his right one there's a Rangers foam finger)
Phoebe: You know what? You are right. I am gonna quit. It's time I took my life back!
Ross: (shaking head) Oh Joey, Joey! But still, I mean, it seems like you guys are having a great time together.
Janice: Well, Sid and I are trying again and we had trouble last time because apparently we...
Phoebe: (through the door, with a Scottish accent) Are you ready for your Scottish massage? Put your face in the hole, lassy.
[Scene: Central Perk. Charlie, Joey and Rachel are on the couches]
Chandler: No-no-no! It is going to be okay, because Mrs. Braverman is gonna send away for a free one and that way we all win! The only losers are the big cheesecake conglomerate, (Reading the label) Mommas Little Bakery. (Pause) I feel terrible, Im a horrible, horrible, horrible person.
JOEY: What are you . ..� (He sees her in her negligee.)� Why are you dressed like that?
Ross: Yeah, right! What was last time he met a submission deadline for an abstract (he and Charlie laugh, then Joey starts laughing too without any reason) Well, why are you laughing?
Rachel: Oh... you're not gonna do a magic trick, are ya?
Chandler: I think I can safely say that we all have family issues, work stuff and/or are sick.
Monica: There are no tickets on the nightstand!
Charlie: Yeah! Actually Joey and I are going to the movies tonight, wanna come?
Monica: You are both idiots. The joke is not funny, and its offensive to women, and doctors, and monkeys! You shouldnt be arguing over who gets credit, you should be arguing over who gets blamed for inflicting this horrible joke upon the world! Now let it go! The joke sucks!
Phoebe: (comes out too) Well, some things are just hard to say to your face.
[Scene: Shop, Phoebe and Rachel are talking in front of the dressing room]
Rachel: Oh! What are we gonna do?
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartement. Chandler and the guest are in the living room, Monica in the kitchen]
Ross: The data we are receiving from MRI scans and DNA testing of these fossils are - are staggering.
Chandler: (very seriously) That's really not the kind of thing we are looking for Zack.
Phoebe: What are the chances? 1 billion Chinese people and they send Mike!?
Rachel: Ok. (Phoebe starts to walk in the opposite direction though. Rachel sees and follows her) Wha...? where? Where are you going?
Charlie: You know, by the way. I heard you tell her not to do anything. Thanks for sticking up for me. You are such a nice person.
Phoebe: Are you sure? Because I'm really dreading going to this party.
Phoebe: Yeah. What-what are you doing here?
Phoebe: Well, it's great that you're back! How are you?
Chandler: Really? Are you sure?
Chandler: We are gonna be great parents.
Jeanette: (to Zack) Here are the boards for Friday's pitch (hands him something).
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next day, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are baby-sitting the triplets. They each have one baby.]
Ross: Oh, that's right! (to Emma) Daddy and uncle Joey are going on a trip today. We're going to a conference in Barbados, right?
Joey: I know, there are gonna be some pasty folks by the pool tomorrow! (A woman goes towards them)
Chandler: Are you just tired now or are you always tired, 'cause that could be a sign of clinical depression.
Sarah: (to Joey) Are you a paleontologist?
Monica: I mean, my feelings for Richard are certainly gone.
Phoebe: You just did it again. Chandler, your feelings for Chandler are certainly gone!
Nurse: Mr. Bing? (Chandler jumps up) Here you are! You'll go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.
Monica: Ok, I'm sensing that this is some kind of word play, because you are pink with barely controlled glee.
Monica: Chandler, we have talked about this. You are not supposed to give people advice! Now couldn't you just have made some sort of inappropriate joke?
Joey: Oh! Hey! Thank God you guys are here!
Monica: What are you serious? You wanna marry him? Wha... What about Mike?
Charlie: Oh wait, Joey and I are supposed to have dinner (Looks at Joey).
Waiter: I'm sorry sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention (walks away)
[Scene: The hall, full of paleontologists. Rachel and Joey are walking around]
David: Are... are you kidding? You know, when you don't see someone for a long time, a-a-and you kind of build them up in your head and you start thinking about: Come on, don't be crazy. Nobody is that beautiful, but... well, you are. (Phoebe seems very charmed) Well, so, uhm... are you seeing... anyone? (Phoebe is still up on a cloud from what David just said)
Chandler: So great things are happening at work and in your personal life!
[Scene: the Pharmacist convention. Joey and Rachel are walking out of it, drinking cocktails]
Phoebe: What are you, what are you doing here?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's room. Monica and Chandler are in bed.]
Ross: (from across the wall) Walls are pretty thin, guys!
Monica: So, what are we gonna do today?
Phoebe: Well, on the bright side, now you won't have to see all these paleontologists with their shirts off. (Grabs a drink and notices that the two men are upset) Not you guys. You got it going on!
Charlie: (walking in) Hey! There you are!
Monica: (angry) Ow, what are the chances!
Joey: I mean, she should be with someone like... Ross! You know what I mean, he uses all those big words too! Man, smart people are dull!
Rachel: W-What are you, what are you talking about?
Joey: Well, who knew? Pharmacists are fun.
Joey: (desperate) What the hell are you doin'???
Phoebe: (looking at Mike) Oh, yeah! (turning to Chandler) Are you telling me you... you're not even... a little turned on by Monica, right now?
[Scene: the hotel game room. Monica and Mike are still playing ping pong]
Charlie: Are they still looking for us?
Rachel: Ooh! You guys are so lucky you are here with people, you known it's such a romantic place. That's all, I just wish I could (looks at Joey who is at the check in desk) share that with a guy.
Ross: Oh, (door is locked) holy molly are we in a pickle now.
(they all put their ear against the wall to be able to hear what's being said. We move to Ross's room where he and Charlie are kissing.)
(Phoebe starts to listen at the other wall, where Rachel's room is. There, Joey and Rachel are kissing.)
Monica: (in her Monica-excited-way... TOO LOUD!) Oh my God, I love how thin these walls are!
Phoebe: They are awfully boxy...
(They are still listening at the wall, when Ross enters their room)
Ross: Hey, what are you guys doing?
Joey: Oh my God, it's Ross. What are we gonna do?
Rachel: How... wha... Hey! What are you... What is this? Have you guys been listening this entire time?
(Joey now enters the room through the door, Monica, Chandler and Phoebe are following him.)
Rachel: (still can't find him) How are you doing this?
Rachel: Are they right?
Rachel/Ross: Ooh, your lips are so soft... Do that again... (and she/he moves in for another kiss. Joey, pushes her head away again...)
Chandler: You're not supposed to take that. Besides, it's a New Testament, what are you gonna do with it?
(Switch to Phoebe and Mike, who are kissing)
Ross: Are you serious?
Ross: Are you kidding? I have had some very dirty dreams about this...
Ross: Are you kidding? Okay, look. I-I studied evolution. Remember, evolution? Monkey into man? Plus, Im a doctor, and I had a monkey. Im Doctor Monkey!