words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are getting ready to go on their honeymoon. Monica is entering from the bedroom.]
(Joey looks at him, Phoebe tries not to smile, and Chandler is shocked.)
Rachel: And I also wanted you guys to know that I am telling the father today. (They all look at her expectantly) What? What? What?
Monica: This is so great! And Im gonna be your babys aunt!
Rachel: (breaking the hug) Youre all gonna be aunts and uncles.
Rachel: Well I was gonna tell him that Im-Im gonna have the baby and he can be as involved as he wants.
Monica: Well I guess there is no harm in telling you now, Rachel and Ross are gonna have a baby.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are entering.]
Joey: Yknow, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something.
Phoebe: You mean the time you broke the ketchup bottle and cleaned it up with Monicas guest towels?
Joey: Monicas chicken parm! Ill take care of it. (He picks up the phone) Hey Mr. Treeger, its Joey Tribbiani. Listen, I need to get into Monica and Chandlers apartment. Its an emergency. (Listens) Uhh, gas leak! Yeah oh, and bring garlic bread. (Hangs up.)
(Phoebe and Joey trade looks)
Ross: Yeah. Uh, uh we promised we werent gonna tell anybody this but uh, about a month ago Rachel and I slept together.
Phoebe: (deadpan) And?
Phoebe: Oh sorry. (Shocked) And?!
Joey: Please, just-just, just go and talk to Rachel.
Ross: Yeah, I guess I should. (Starts to leave.) Man, yknow what I have to realize? Maybe Im just not the type of guy women can have just one night with. Yknow, they-they always seem to want a little bit more. I should remember that. (He pauses and then exits.)
[Scene: The Airport Ticket Counter, Monica and Chandler are standing in line behind another couple kissing who are next in line to be served.]
Monica: (to the couple) Hi! Can you do that and walk? Cause she said, "Next."
Ticket Agent: Congratulations. Okay, Mr. Bing youll be in 25J and Mrs. Bing youll be in 25K.
Monica: Oh no, you see were on our honeymoon. So umm, can you do your little thing and bump us up to first class?
Chandler: 25J and K, any chance those arent together?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe and Joey are playing Rock em, Sock em Robots.]
Phoebe: Of course I do! And Im gonna give it back to you as soon as theyre done with it at the key shining place.
(They hear a knocking sound coming from the hallway and go to investigate.)
(They go into the hallway and see Mr. Treeger watching one of New Yorks bravest breakdown Monica and Chandlers door with an ax.]
[Scene: The Airport, Chandler and Monica are following the previous couple through a tiny hallway that proves this is a set on a sound stage and not an actual airport, and see them enter the first class lounge.]
Monica: Fine. (Starts to walk away then she runs over and grabs an orange before she exits.) Go! Go! Go!
[Scene: The Hallway Outside Rosss Apartment, Ross is walking towards his apartment and sees Rachel sitting in front of the door.]
Ross: Yeah, and to save you from any embarrassment umm, I think maybe I should talk first.
Ross: Okay. (He sits her down in a chair.) Uh, Ross and Rachel. Rachel and Ross. Thats been one heck of a see-saw hasnt it?
Ross: I mean look, that-that one night we had was fun and and certainly passionate, but dont you think its better if we just stayed friends?
Ross: Oh sure. (He sits on the apothecary table and touches her hand.)
Rachel: (touches his knee) Im pregnant. (Ross stops.) Ross? (Ross is staring off into space.) Ross? (Ross is still frozen) Okay, whenever youre ready. (Sits back and opens her magazine.) And youre the father by the waybut you got that
Ross: No they dont!!! (He runs to the bedroom to check and returns with his box of condoms.) Well they should put it in huge black letters!!!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Mr. Treeger has finished inspecting Monica and Chandlers apartment.]
Joey: (eating) Huh. So then I can heat this up? (Goes and does so.)
Phoebe: Oh great! And listen, could you do us a favor and not tell Chandler and Monica about this? Cause yknow umm, they dont-they dont have any kids of their own and-and this door was like a child to them.
(Treeger leaves and Ross notices the door.)
Ross: Yeah but uh Okay, okay look you guys know that Rachel and I slept together, but theres something else. (Pause) Rachels pregnant.
Ross: Nothing. But the complaint department at the condom company got an earful. And then when I turned around she was gone.
Joey: What?! (Grabs his condoms from his pocket and looks.)
[Scene: The Atlantis Resort, Chandler and Monica are arriving to check in, but are behind the couple from before again.]
Monica: What? (Monica sees the first couple and gasps.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is on the phone and Phoebe is watching him.]
Joey: Hey Monica its Joey. Listen uh, Phoebe and I smell gas comin from your apartment.
Joey: Yeah and wed go check it out, but you took away our keys.
Joey: Uh, okay Ill-Ill-Ill break it down. (He hands the phone to Phoebe, gets up, picks up a chair, and starts banging it on the floor.)
(Theres a knock on the door and Ross enters.)
Rachel: When certain people leave the table and I am not finished!
Dr. Long: Okay, everything looks good. Here it is on the screen. (We see Ross and Rachel looking at the screen.) Here is your uterus. And right here is your baby.
(Dr. Long exits and Rachel starts to cry.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are there as Rachel and Ross return from the doctors appointment.]
Ross: Oh. (He takes the picture and hugs her.
(The same woman walks over and takes Rachel's laundry cart.)
Ross: You were incredible! Brand new woman, ladies and gentlemen.
(She thinks it over, and then walks away.)
Ross: Ok, um, uh, more clothes in the dryer? (Ross turns and bangs his head on an open dryer door.) I'm fine, I'm fine.
(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)
(Monica and Joey enter.)
Joey: We, we come back from our walk and the- the phone was ringing...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyond except Monica and Joey is watching Lambchop.]
Chandler: Yeah! (Monica falls asleep) No! No! No! Dont fall asleep! Okay, I am going to make you some coffee. (Monica doesnt move as he gets out of bed and as hes heading for the door.) And I probably wont spill coffee grounds all over the kitchen floor.
Chandler: (sighs and gestures to explain) There's a beautiful woman at eight, nine, ten o'clock!
Barry: See, about a month ago, I wanted to hurt you. More than I've ever wanted to hurt anyone in my life. And I'm an orthodontist.
Rachel: And you've got lenses! But you hate sticking your finger in your eye!
Ross: Okay, you're in bed. She's over on your side, cuddling. Now you wait for her to drift off, and then you hug her (demonstrates on the cushion) and roll her back over to her side of the bed. And then you rollll a-way. Hug for her! Roll for you.
Rachel: Yeah, and he does it every year! That's why he's sending you to that play! That's why he sent us to that medieval restaurant and to that button factory!
[Scene: The Theater, the play has ended and everyone is applauding. As soon as the cast leaves, the gang all groan and sit down heavily.]
Chandler: Hey, that's not good. Can I get an espresso and a latte over here, please?
(A flashback of Aurora and Chandler on their date in Central Perk is denoted by italics.)
Phoebe: (reading Monica's palm) No, 'cause this line is passion, and this is... just a line.
Ross: Then, Fred Astaire singing The Way You Look Tonight came on the sound system, and the lights came down. And I got down on one knee and written across the dome in the stars were the words "Will you marry me?"
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is there as enter except Joey enter.]
ROSS: I don't know, I don't think mom and dad would mind. Remember when you were 9 and Richard was 30, how dad used to say, 'God I hope they get together.'
Ross: Oh yeah, nobody knows. And we're not supposed to ask.
(Joey enters and he's on the phone.)
Rachel: Okay, uh, you let me go grocery shopping, and I buy laundry detergent, but it's not the one with the easy-pour spout.
Chandler: Well, y'know, I had some trouble with it at first too, but the way I look at it is, I get all the good stuff: all the fun, all the talking, all the sex; and none of the responsibility. I mean, this is every guy's fantasy!
(The player shoots and the puck flies off the rink and hits Ross in the face. Chandler looks concered until he notices...)
(Joey enters with Monica's paper and hands it to her.)
Chandler: C'mon, we're roommates! (He goes into the bathroom, screams, and runs back out.) My eyes!! My eyes!!
Ross: Really? You dont think thats a little inappropriate. (Shes wearing a tank top and has her belly sticking out.)
(She opens the door and he leaves.)
Joey: Right. Okay. Losing the robe. (He takes off the robe.) And the robe is lost.
Ross: Uh, well, don't worry, I'll use the gentle cycle. Ok, um, basically you wanna use one machine for all your whites, a whole nother machine for colors, and a third for your uh, your uh, delicates, and that would be your bras and your under-panty things.
Aurora: (moves Chandler's arm and look at his watch.) Oh my God, I'm late. (She starts to get up.)
Aurora: (getting up and dressing) I'm sorry. He'll be waiting for me.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Aurora and Chandler are in bed in Chandler's room.]
Joey: ...I'm his butt double. 'Kay? I play Al Pacino's butt. Alright? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt.
Aurora: Why can't we just have what we have now? Why can't we just talk, and laugh, and make love, without feeling obligated to one another... and up until tonight I thought that's what you wanted too.
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
(She leaves, Chandler sighs, and falls back on his bed.)
(She kisses him, he holds her, and kisses her passionately.)
Monica: Youre not gonna go anywhere, you said you were gonna eat here, and youre gonna eat here!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is trying to comfort Chandler. Joey is absent.]
Joey: Y'know, I've done nothing but crappy plays for six years. And I finally get my shot, and I blow it!
Chandler: Something so sweet and...disturbing about that.
Monica: I think it's a great idea. Yeah, we could have a dinner party and just invite her close friends.
(Ross and Chandler look at each other and hug as well.)
Written by: Jeffrey Astrof and Mike Sikowitz. Transcribed by: Ruth Curran
Monica: (hums for a while, then gives up, and in her head) If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. No. Don't do this. This is stupid! I don't have to prove anything, I'm gonna go get them...But then everyone will know. Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back! ...I need help! (She buries her head in her pillow.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the phone with her mother. Phoebe, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
[Scene: The ATM vestibule of a bank, Chandler is inside. The lights go out, and he realizes he is trapped inside.]
Phoebe: Can I borrow the phone? I want to call my apartment and check on my grandma. (to Monica) What's my number?
(Monica and Rachel look at Phoebe strangely.)
Ross: And officiating at tonight's blackout, is Rabbi Tribbiani.
Monica: Noooo! (Comes closer and whispers) I'm lying. I am so drunk.
(Chandler strides proudly across the vestibule and Jill stares at him.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, The phone rings; it's Chandler.]
(He continues to smile like an idiot, and she looks frightened.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time has passed. The five are sitting around the coffee table talking.]
MRS. GREENE: Oh well thank you. Such a gentleman. Thank you. [Chandler takes the hot pink coat and grimaces at it] Ahh, it all looks so nice, so festive, all the balloons... [Chandler, remembering that Joey and Mr. Greene are in the bedroom, throws her coat in a cupboard] The funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was...[Joey peeks out]
Monica: Why dont you just weigh out the good stuff about the relationship against the bad stuff. I mean thats what I did when I first (looks at Chandler and pauses) weighing stuff.
[Time lapse, Ross and Rachel are talking, Joey is on the couch, and Monica and Phoebe are out of the room.]
Chandler: Alright, alright, alright. It's been fourteen and a half minutes and you still have not said one word. Oh God, do something. Just make contact, smile!
Ross: (sarcastically) And you didn't marry him because...?
Phoebe: Umm, well hes very dashing, y'know, and umm, very, very sophisticated, and he doesnt speak any English, but according to his translator, he totally gets me.
Rachel: Oh Ross, you're so great. (she playfully rubs his head and gets up)
Joey: You and Rachel.
Joey: Because you waited too long to make your move, and now you're in the friend zone.
Monica: Mom says it's all of Manhattan, parts of Brooklyn and Queens, and they have no idea when it's coming back on.
(They both start speaking Italian to each other, and since I'm not Italian and don't understand one word, we'll move on to the English portion of the show. Not, that I'm English. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that I'm not. Y'know I think I should shut-up now and move on. Anyhoo, she says something about Joey being fat I think based on this line.)
Phoebe: Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! (Singing) "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..."
Phoebe: Ooh! Ooh! And I brought Operation! But, um, I lost the tweezers, so we can't operate. But we can prep the guy!
Monica: And that would be?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's Balcony, Ross and Rachel are talking.]
Monica, Joey, and Phoebe: (singing) I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find, is the wonders I've found ever since...
[Cut to inside. Monica, Joey and Phoebe are singing while outside, Ross and Rachel are trying to get the cat off of Ross' shoulder.]
Chandler: Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, (Chandler flails his hand out and hits Janice in the eye)... boom.
Rachel: Oh. (they knock at the next door, Mr. Heckles answers) Hi. We just found this cat and we're looking for the owner.
Mr. Heckles: (as Phoebe and Rachel leave) You owe me a cat.
Ross: That, that is funny... (to Joey).... and Rachel keeps touching him.
Rachel: And Joey....
Rachel: And Ross.
Phoebe: Ah! Well! There you go! Last to know again! And I'm guessing... since nobody told me... this is Paolo.
(Chandler tries to save face and makes the 'OK' sign with his hands, while obviously unable to breathe.)
Paolo: (something romantic in Italian about Rachel and the stars)
Rachel: (to Monica and Phoebe) Oh my God, you guys, what am I doing? What am I doing? This is so un-me!
Phoebe: Its a trip for two! (She gets up and takes off her blouse-type thingy shes wearing over her dress.) Excuse me. (She walks over to table four.) Excuse me, is the person who won the Paris trip at this table?
[Scene: The hallway of Monica's building. Phoebe and Rachel are trying to find the cat's owner.]
[Scene: ATM vestibule, Chandler and Jill are sitting below the counter with two pens dangling from their chains in front of them. Jill is showing Chandler how to swing the pen around his head.]
Ross: Listen. Um, listen. Something you should... know... um, Rachel and I... we're kind of a thing.
Ross: Okay, first of all, I dont play with cheaters, and second of all, you know I had swollen glands!!
Chandler: Yes. Yes, thanks for letting me use your phone... and for saving my life.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is all sitting around the table.]
<Amy gets pissed and starts cutting food on the fancy plate very harshly, you can hear the silveware scraping the fancy plate>
(He swings the pen hard, and it snaps back and almost hits him again.)
(The phone rings and Rachel answers)
Joey: Yeah, they said I acted too much with it. I told everybody about this! Now everybody's gonna go to the theatre, expecting to see me, and...
Ross: No, no, no. Technically the... sex is not... being had, but that's... see, that's not the point. See, um, the point is that... Rachel and I should be, er, together. You know, and if you get in the.... um...
(The lights come back on, and Rachel and Paolo are making out. Ross clutches his chest.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there.)
Ross: Okay, relax, relax. We are gonna be here for a while, it looks like, and we still have boyfriends and your career to cover.