words in movies
Rachel: All right, all right, all right. Last night, I had a dream that, uh, you and I, were...
Chandler: I'm sorry, it was a one-time-thing. I was very drunk and i was somebody else's subconscious.
(Chandler, Monica and Phoebe looks at him)
Phoebe: No, nothing like that. I was just...such a dummie. I taught this "massage-yourself-at-home-workshop." And they are.
Chandler: A cool phone number, and a possible name for the kid.
Chandler: Whoa! And this manchild has no problem with how old you are?
[Scene: Chandler's office, he and Phoebe are there when the phone starts ringing.]
Phoebe: Will he know what this is in reference to? (Listens) And he has your number? (Listens) All right, I'll see that he gets the message. Bye bye.
Phoebe: Most likely. (raises and goes toward the door) Okay, I'm gonna be out there.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are there. Monica is just finishing cleaning the windows.]
Monica: I don't know. Look he's a great guy and I love being with him but... you know. Things happen, and they happen. You don't plan these things.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey and Ross are there.]
(Phoebe and Chandler enter)
Chandler: See, it pays to know the man who wears my shoes. (Joey and Ross wonder what he means) Me.
Phoebe: Don't feel bad. You know they used to like you a lot. But then you got promoted, and, you know, now you're like "Mr. Boss Man". You know, Mr. Bing. Mr. Bing, "Boss Man Bing".
(Joey and Ross laughs)
(Joey and Ross laughs)
(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laughs)
Phoebe, Joey, and Ross: 'My scones.'
(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laughs again)
(Joey and Chandler laughs)
(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laugh)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Young Ethan are sitting in the couch.]
Young Ethan: Well, think about it. It's always on the news. 'A man is being held up, at gunpoint.' 'Tourists are being terrorised, at gunpoint.' And I just kept thinking: why does people continue to go there? (He checks his watch.) Oh, ah. I should go.
Monica: Listen, uh, you told me something that was really difficult for you. And I, I-I figured if you could be honest, then I can to.
Monica: Um, okay, here it goes. I'm not 22. I'm, I'm 25... and thirteen months.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone exept Monica is there.]
Joey: So, tell me. Was it like you and Chandler, and then you and me, or you and me and Chandler?
(Chandler and Joey laughs, until they look at each other then recoil in horror.)
Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe: Hey, Mon.
Chandler: And this has nothing to do with the fact that he needs a note to get out of gym.
(Ross and Chandler laughs)
Joey, Chander, and Ross: Sorry.
Phoebe: Ooh, oh, I've gotta go. (raises) Whoa, oh, head rush. One more, and then I have to go. (sits down, and then raises again) Cool!
[Scene: Chandler's office, he and Phoebe are taking a break from work.]
Chandler: I Think last night was great. You know, the Karaoke thing. Tracy and I doing Ebony and Ivory.
[Scene: Central Perk. Everyone exept Phoebe and Chandler is there. Ross's beeper goes off and everyone exept him react.]
Ross: Oh, Carol and I have a new system. If she punches in 911, it means she's having a baby, otherwise I just ignore it.
Ross: Oh, well this morning he got a call from who I think was our cousin Nathan, and frankly, it was a little more than I needed to know.
Rachel: (understands that Monica and Ethan wanna be alone) Hey, did you guys check out those new hand-dryers in the bathroom?
(Rachel, Ross and Ross go to the bathroom)
Young Ethan: All right, look. I've gotta tell you something. I'm not 17. I only said so that you'd think I was cute and vunerable. I'm actually 30, I have a wife, I have a job, I'm your Congressman. Monica, this is ridiculous, we're great together. We can talk, we make each other laugh, and the sex. Oh, man, okay i have no frame of graft, but I thought that was great.
(Ross, Rachel and Joey come back from the bathroom. They discover that Monica and Ethan aren't finished talking to each other yet.)
[Scene: A hall on the floor where Chandler works. Chandler and Phoebe enters, and overhears some employees's conversation. One of them is doing Chandler.]
Chandler: You have to give 'em something, you know. Okay, now that was Gerston, Santos, and who's the guy with the moustache?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is watching TV, but turns it off, and Rachel is sleeping on the couch. Ross puts a blanket over her.]
(Ross gets all excited and starts to dance on the coffee table, but slips allmost immediatly, and falls onto the couch. Rachel wakes up.)
(Ross runs from the table, over the couch but slips and falls onto the floor)
(Rachel comes out from their apartment with a mirror and a lipstick in her hands)
Phoebe: Umm, Rachel and I were just discussing it and she had some very interesting insights.
Rachel: Well I was gonna tell him that Im-Im gonna have the baby and he can be as involved as he wants.
Chandler: Well, I was trying to prove that I was right. Yknow? And it turns out I was wrong. And now its lodged in my throat. (Mimics a cat trying to cough up a hairball.) (He does it again.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler is sleeping on the couch. Monica walks by and starts watching him.]
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Rachel are on their knees with forks trying to salvage what they can of the cheesecake off of the floor.]
CHANDLER: You, move out. Take your fruit, your stupid small fruit and GET OUT!
MONICA: No, honey, in a wonderful way. You know what you want now. Most guys don't even have a clue. You are ready to take risks, you are ready to be vulnerable, and intimate with someone.
PHOEBE: I know, I know, and I was gonna get it but then he came in with this needle and uh, di-, did you know they do this with needles?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are sitting around the coffee table.]
MONICA: And his puppet too.
RACHEL: Or ya know, he's rubber and you're glue.
RACH: Oh, look at me, look at me. Oh, I'm on a date with a really great guy, all I can think about is Ross and his cat and his... Julie. I just want to get over him. gosh, why can't I do that?
JOEY: No no, seriously, Chandler and I were just talkin about this. He is so much cooler than our dads. [Chandler starts kicking him below the table] I mean, you know, our dad's are ok, ya know, but Richard is just- ow, ow. What are you kickin me for? Huh? I'm tryin to talk here.
ROSS: Yeah. And you should hold out for something bigger. I can't tell you how much respect I have for you not going to that stupid cab driver audition.
[Monica goes into her room and slams the door. Rachel does the same. Phoebe, without a door to slam, opens a small chest and slams the lid.]
Rachel: Your fly is open, Geller. (he checks it, and zips up)
ESTELLE: Joey, I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Al Minser and his pyramid of dogs. Take any job you can get and don't make on the floor.
JOEY: No no, uh, don't thank me for comin' in. Uh, at least let me finish. Uh, we could take the expressway but uh, this time of day you're better off taking the budge. You were goin' for the word bridge there weren't ya. I'll have a good day. [gets up and leaves]
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Phoebe are sitting ignoring each other. Rachel walks up with two pieces of cake.]
JOEY: Hi, here's the deal. We lost a carseat on a bus today. It's white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller. Oh, and there was a baby in it. He wants to talk to you again.
[Scene: Hallway outside Chandler and Joey's apartment. Eddie walks up.]
EDDIE: Why doesn't my key work and what's all my stuff doin' downstairs?
JOEY: Na, na I'm ok. Oh and uh, just so you know, I'm not movin' back in 'cause I have to. Well, I mean, I do have to. It's just that that place wasn't really, I mean, this is...
EDDIE: No he, he moved out and I moved in.
Chandler: I'm telling ya! It's gonna happen. Next year it's gonna be you, me and the little Hemingway Bing. (pause) What, he's my favourite author!
CHANDLER: Welcome home man. [they hug and jump around]
CHANDLER: Uh-Oh. It's Isaac Newton, and he's pissed.
[Time lapse, they have set up a little assembly line for diaper changes. Phoebe wipes, Chandler adds the powder, begrudgingly, and Monica puts the diaper on.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe enters to see Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel tearfully watching TV.]
RICHARD: That's fine. Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening and I guess I'll just see you kids around.
Ross: Uh, okay, yeah, we could do that, but before we head off to the murder capital of the North-East, I was, uh, kinda wanting to run something by you. Y'know how we were, uh, y'know, talking before about, uh, relationships and stuff? (Uncorks the wine) Well-
MONICA: [her and Richard return to her place] So are you ok?
RACHEL: Ok, we can do this now, can't we Ben? Yes we can, yes we can. [finishes the diaper] There. I did it. I did it. Look at that, oh, stays on and everything. Hi.
ROSS: Great, great, and I miss that too, I miss everything.
ESTELLE: Look honey, people get fired left and right in this business. I already got you an audition for Another World.
CAROL and SUSAN: Hello.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe is watching Bert and Ernie with Ben.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is neglecting the game of Scrabble, for he's busily drawing on his own childhood in an attempt to help Ross. Marcel chitters about.]
PHOEBE: No, 'cause you just said dad and everywhere I go today I keep getting signs telling me to go see my father. Like when I was walking over here and I passed a buffet...which is my father's last name.
Kori: And you are...
[as they're walking off, little bully grabs Chandlers hat from behind and puts it on himself]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Rachel are sitting there and Monica walks in.]
PHOEBE: And a crusty old man said I'll do what I can and the rest of the rats played moroccas. That's it, thanks, good night.
Chandler: Okay, heres the situation. The keys to the cuffs are on the back of the door. Could you be a doll and grab them and scoot on over and unlock me? And on a totally different subject, that is a lovely pantsuit.
ROSS and CHANDLER: [both enter looking down] Hhhiiii.
PHOEBE: Alright, so, what, he's not a famous tree surgeon? And then, I guess, OK, he doesn't live in a hut in Burma where there's no phones?
CHANDLER: Na, forget it, it's probably stripped and sold for parts by now.
RACHEL: Hi. [Ross turns to Rachel and they hug]
JOEY: Hey, woah, let's go down there and get your hat back.
JOEY: Well, see when you're acting you need to think about stuff like that. My character, Joseph the processor guy, has two little girls, Ashley and Brittany. Ashley copies everything Brittany does.
[Scene: Phoebe's dad's house. Phoebe pulls up in the cab with Rachel and Joey in the back.]
JOEY: Well why don't you just reach out and take his trampoline.
RACHEL: Ok, here, I know what we can do. [grabs Joey's sadwich and throws it out the window]
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross are sitting at the couch.]
(Ross hands Rachel back the newspaper, and she starts beating him with it again.)
LITTLE BULLY: And look where they're sitting.
CHANDLER: Alright, I'll tell you what, you call the couch and then, and then we'll call the couch, and we'll see who it comes to.
ROSS: Thank you Gunther. We didn't want to have to go and do that.
RACHEL: I know. And Mom, I realize you and Daddy were upset when I didn't marry Barry and get the big house in the suburbs with all the security and everything, but this is just so much better for me, you know?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey is eating breakfast, Rachel has just gotten up, and Monica is on the phone.]
MONICA: 'Cause I was going by it the other day and I saw that there was a stock with my initials, MEG, on it and, well, sometimes I have to watch for two or three hours before it comes up again but when it does, it's pretty exciting.
MONICA: Well, my financially challenged friends, I split my money and I bought some shares of CHP and ZXY.
PHOEBE: Ok, I talked to the vet, people are so nice upstate. Anyway, he said that the little fella's gonna be ok and I can pick him up tomorrow.
Chandler: Let me tell you why you need to pick me. (Goes to sit on the couch facing backwards to the kitchen. Rachel gets a chair and sits opposite him) See, when I was a kid, I was always left out of everything, you know, and it really made me feel... insecure. You know, I was always picked last in gym. Even behind that big fat exchange student who didn't even know the rules to baseball. I mean, this guy would strike out and then run to third. Anyway, If I'm the only one left out of this wedding, I just know that all those feelings are gonna come rushing back.
PHOEBE: Yeah, but he did have to have a bunch of stitches and he said that only once in a blue moon does a dog's ear grow back so...still hoping.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Ross is sitting at the bar, Chandler serves up two mugs of hot water.]
RACHEL: Ok, so Phoebe, now are you gonna call your dad and let him know that his dog is ok?
PHOEBE: Ok. Listen, just don't say anything about me, ok. [goes over and grabs the phone that's sitting by Monica]
Photographer: Now why dont we get a shot of just Monica and the bloody soldier.
CHANDLER:Well the package says you have to uh, constantly keep it moving. Stir and drink, stir and drink, never let it settle.
[Scene: Outside Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is returning.]
[Scene: The fancy restaurant, Angela has her hand in Bob's shirt, and Monica is very uncomfortable.]
[Scene: Phoebe's dad's house. Phoebe is returning the dog who is bandaged up and has a plastic cone around it's neck.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that same day. Joey and Chandler are eating pizza, and Phoebe is trying to knit something.]
FRANK: Yeah hey, you know if you want I can take you around back and show you where he hit his head on the rain gutter.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross are sitting on the couch nervously.]
[They rush to put the cream and sugar in their cups and gulp down a few drinks]
Ross: And that should conclusively prove that I had the idea for Jurassic Park first! Now lets take a look at (Phoebe rushes in.)
ROSS: Yes, and that's why we're here.
[they all jump in the street and prepare to fight]
LITTLE BULLY: Actually, you know, uh, I gotta show this apartment tomorrow and uh, you know, this no faces thing might not be a bad idea.
Rachel: C'mon Daddy, listen to me! It's like, it's like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!
CHANDLER: Huh. [reaches over and grabs the hat and bolts for the door but slips and falls behind the couch]
Alice: No-no-no, no, its going to be fine. Because umm, because I teach Home Ec, and uh, I can have 30 kids making baby clothes all year long. Yknow itll-itll be like my very own little sweatshop.
JOEY: Really. Why can't we just get some pizzas and get some beers and have fun?
(Camera cuts to show Chandler giving a Jello shot to the ceramic dog and holding an empty tray of Jello shots.)
CHANDLER: Or maybe she doesn't steal stuff and Joey just slept with her and never called her back.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are setting up for the party.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are planning Rache's birthday party.]
MONICA: No no, the father can, but um, since I am the roommate I can tell you that she's not here and I'll pass along the message, ok. So bye-bye.
MONICA: Sandra, I am so sorry, I thought you were Rachel and we just weren't ready for you yet.
PHOEBE: And because you're both, you know, white women.
MONICA: So uh, Joey and Chanlder, I, I think it's time that you take Dr. Greene over to your place.
Phoebe: Okay, well Ill bring them by tomorrow morning. Okay, and uh, by the way, theyre not actually puppies, theyre Frank and Alices triplets. Okay, see ya! (Exits.)
CHANDLER: Ok, they're coming, shhh. [Runs into Monica's apartment and grabs one last girl to take to his apartment]
[they kiss and Ross backs her into her apartment and turns on the lights]
Chandler: (starts to recite a rehearsed speech) Monica is a self-sufficient, together lady. (Pause.) Being with her has been like being on a vacation. And what may be perceived as high maintenance is merely attention to detail and(He falters and Monica prompts him.)generosity of spirit.
MONICA: Ok, everybody, there's food and drinks on the table. Go across the hall.
MONICA: Right now, Joey and Chandler's, go now.
Rachel: Okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay! I got it! I got it! I got it! I cant! I cant! I cant! I cannot go with you and my sister thing. Okay? I just cant. Its just too weird, all right? I imagine the two of you together and I freak out. It freaks me out. I cant do it! I cant do it.