words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are there.]
Joey: Oh, you have no idea. And-and when were on stage I get to-to kiss her and-and touch her, but then she goes home with the director, and its like somebodys ripping out my heart!
Ross: Monica, uh Dad called this morning and ah, Aunt Silvia passed away.
Monica: Oh, she was a cruel, cranky, old bitch! (Ross gives her a look) (to Ross) And Im sorry she died. Did Dad say I get the dollhouse?
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and her are coming back from lunch.]
Joanna: Would you? Or, is it just to sad and desperate, and y'know something that Sophie would do?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is showing off her new dollhouse. Its a huge dollhouse, that takes up the entire living room table.]
Phoebe: I brought a bunch of stuff for the house, so check it out. Ha-ha. (She removes this large ceramic dog that comes up to the second floor and places it next to the house.)
Chandler: (holding a tissue) And is this in case the house sneezes?
Ross: Wait a minute, the house was built on radioactive waste, and an ancient Indian burial ground? That would never happen.
Monica: Okay, Phoebe, y'know what? That-thats it, thats it, all right? No dinosaurs, no ghosts, no giant dogs, okay? Theyre not the right size, theyre not Victorian, and they just dont go.
[Scene: The Theatre, Joey and Kate are getting ready to rehearse the play.]
Joey: (to himself) And I ate the food, I had the fish, it was good, yeah. It was good, yeah...
Lauren: Oh but then, they went and dropped you down that elevator shaft.
Joey: Well Ahh, (he sees Kate and the director kissing) yeah! Yeah, sure, a drink sounds great.
The Director: All right, its time to act, my talking props. (Both Joey and Kate just look at each other.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with her own dollhouse, that she made herself.]
Phoebe: Look, look! (She lifts up the roof, and the front panel falls revealing the interior.)
Phoebe: The Licorice Room, you can eat all the furniture. And, when guests come over, they can stay on the tootsie roll-away bed.
Ross and Rachel: Uh-huh.
Ross and Rachel: Ooohhhh!!
Phoebe: And, and! (She turns on a bubble maker.)
Ross and Rachel: Ahhhh!!
Chandler: Well, the movie was great, dinner was great, and theres nothing like a cool, crisp New York evening.
Joanna: Oh God, we just clicked! Yknow how people just click? Like he came by to pick me up, and I opened the door, and it was just like, click! Did he tell you?
Joanna: Oh, and hes got such a good heart! Doesnt he have a good heart?
Joanna: Oh, I know and hes soo sweet! Listen, he said he was going to call, so put him straight through.
[Scene: The Theatre, Joey and Kate are rehearsing.]
The Director: (answering the phone) Hello. Oh! Its you. Just ah, just one-one sec. (to Joey and Kate) I am going to take this call. When I continue, I hope that there will appear on stage this magical thing that in the theatre we call, committing to the moment! (He goes to take the call.)
Joey: Hey, Im not interested in her sweater! Its whats underneath her sweater that counts. And besides, since ah, since when do you care who Im going out with?
(Joey grabs her and kisses her.)
Lauren: (to Joey) Hey! So since were getting off early, do you want to go and paint mugs?
Kate: Or maybe, maybe he could grab her, and, and, and, and lift her up.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, and then Adrian, she maybe she could wrap her legs around his waist.
Kate: And then she could rip off his shirt and kiss his chest, and, and his stomach!
Joey: And then, then he could use his teeth, his teeth to undo her dress, and, and, and bite her!
Kate: And then right, right when the scene ends, he could take her with this raw, animal....
[cut to Joeys bedroom, Joey and Kate are emerging from under the covers.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are eating breakfast as Joey enters, very happily.]
(He walks up behind Monica and gives her a big hug and a kiss on the neck.)
(He walks over behind Ross, thinks about it for a moment, and gives him a big hug.)
Joey: Yep. I just, I just watched her sleep for like hours, just breathing in and breathing out. And then I knew she was dreaming cause, cause her eyes keep going like this. (He closes his eyes and moves them around, kinda like hes been processed by the devil, or something.)
Chandler: To her face? Look its the end of the date, Im standing there, I know all shes waiting for is for me to say Ill call her and its just y'know, comes out. I cant help it, its a compulsion.
Joanna: The only person that should feel awkward is you, and you didnt tell him not to call me, did you?
Chandler: Nooo!! Shes really dull! And she gets this gross mascara goop thing in the corner of her eye!
Rachel: I dont care! I dont care! You are going to have to take her out again and end it, and end it in way that she knows its actually ended. And, I dont care how hard it is for you, do not tell her that you will call her again!
Chandler: All right! Fine! But its just a lunch date, no more than an hour! And from now on I get my own dates, I dont want you setting me up with anybody ever again!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
[He closes the door and walks over to get something from the fridge. He starts to smell something and turns around to see Phoebes dollhouse smoking. He runs over and takes off the roof to reveal that the dollhouse fire.]
[He tries to blow it out, and obviously, it doesnt work. He runs over to the sink to get a glass of water to put out the fire, but since Monica is in the shower the water pressure is very low and takes a long time to fill the glass. In desperation he takes the half full glass over and dumps it on the fire, it doesnt work. He then picks up the dollhouse and considers bringing it over to the sink, but decides to take it into the bathroom and use the shower to put it out. He kicks open the door and we hear Monica scream at the top of her lungs.]
Kate: Nooo. And theres really no reason he should find out, so ah lets not make a big deal about it, okay?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are inspecting the damage to the dollhouse.]
Ross: Well, we believe it originated here. (He uses a pointer and points to the point of origin.) In the Aroma Room.
Monica: Well, the giraffes okay. And so is the pirate.
Phoebe: Ohh. What is this? (She sees a tissue covering something, and moves to remove it.)
Phoebe: (She pauses to ready herself, and removes the tissue.) Ohh, the-the Foster puppets!
(She picks up a charred piece of plastic that once was the Foster puppets, and starts to break down. Monica goes over and comforts her.)
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and Joanna are returning from their lunch date. He is telling her about her mascara problem. Rachel is already there.]
Chandler: Its not a big deal. Its, just its right here, (points to his eye) and its all the time.
(Rachel is slowing trying to leave and let them talk.)
Chandler: Look, Im sorry. Okay? Im weak, and pathetic, and sorry.
Rachel: Okay, you are going to tell her and youre going to tell her now. (She grabs his nipple and starts to twist it.)
Chandler: Im sorry. Im-Im-Im sorry that I said I was going to when Im not. Look, this has nothing to do with you, y'know? And this isnt Rachels fault. Its me. I have serious, serious problems when it comes to women. I have issues with commitment, intimacy, (pause) mascara goop. And Im really sorry, its just that this is not, this isnt going to work out.
(Rachel is shocked, and holds her arms out in disbelief.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is talking on the phone.]
Joey: (on phone) Well, so anyway Beth, what Im saying is I shouldve considered your feelings before I went home with you that night. Ive ah, Ive recently learned whats it like to be on your side of it, and Im sorry. So, do you think you can forgive me? (listens) Great. Thanks. Okay, bye. (He sits down and crosses out something, and dials the phone again.) Hello, Jennifer? (listens) Oh hi, Mrs. Loreo, is Jennifer there? (listens) Oh, shes not home huh? (listens) Well ah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too.
(Marsha extis and Ross waves Carol into the exhibit.)
Rachel: And everybody knows this?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is helping Joey rehearse for a part.]
(They hug. And quickly that hug turns into a heated make out session, right there on the waiting room couch. Chandler, Rachel, and Monica quickly make their exits.)
(Joey tries and visibly winces.)
(Phoebe jumps to the floor as Ross tackles Rachel off of the couch. Chandler helps push Rachel onto the floor by jumping over the back of the couch. Phoebe grabs Rachel's head to hold it still and opens Rachel's eye as Monica jumps onto Chandler's back to administer the torture--I mean medicine.)
Ross: It was hard... I remember... I was in my bedroom... playing with my dinosaurs... playing and learning... and my father walks in and says... he says... "What are you doing with those things? What's wrong with you, why aren't you... why aren't you outside playing like a... like a real boy?
[Scene, Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe and Rachel is there.]
Rachel: Yeah. So don't move, okay? Just stay here and... (nods towards Ross) maybe close your blinds at night.
Phoebe: - and there's five hundred extra dollars in my account.
Phoebe: Yes, 'cause now I have to go down there, and deal with them.
Mr. Geller: Look, there are people like Ross who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum, and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are- I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer.
Joey: Thats right! I helped you guys out a lot in the start of your relationship. Huh? I helped you guys sneak around for like six months, and I looked like an idiot! And I was humiliated. And I only made 200 dollars!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is smoking out on the balcony, Phoebe is absent.]
(Phoebe enters, walks to the couch, sits down, and begins to read a letter without saying hi.)
(She opens the door and Alan enters.)
Rachel: And did you notice...? (She spreads her thumb and index finger.)
(Cut to Joey's apartment. Joey looks inside the cardboard box that used to be the home of Chick Jr. and Duck Jr., but they have disappeared.)
Chandler: And this- is my reward!
Susan: All right, who should we call first, your folks, or Deb and Rona? (intercom buzzer rings)
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Lizzie are at a hot dog vendor.]
(Phoebe opens the can and reacts.)
Rachel: Oh, you guys are gonna have so much fun! She's at such a cute age. Oh, a couple things. Now that she's eating solid food, she poops around the clock. And watch out for your hair, 'cause she likes to grab it. And oh, she's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams bloody murder, but ah... Thanks, you guys. Have fun!
Phoebe: Okay, alright, you buy me a soda, and then we're even. Okay?
(Monica laughs and snorts.)
[Scene: Iridium, Monica and Paula are working.]
Joey: Yeah and the most important thing is that it wont be some like, stranger up there who barely knows you. Itll be me! And I swear Ill do a really good job. Plus, yknow I love you guys and-and it would really mean a lot to me.
Rachel: Yeah. (Stops and starts doing the I-have-to-go-to-the-bathroom dance.)
Joey: No, no, hey, no! Too late for apologies... ok? You broke my heart. You know how many women I had to sleep with to get over you? (and he leaves the apartment, leaving her shocked)
Phoebe: And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. ...What is up with the universe?!
Rachel: (carrying a tray of drinks) Alright, don't tell me, don't tell me! (Starts handing them out.) Decaf cappucino for Joey.. Coffee black.. Late.. And an iced tea. I'm getting pretty good at this!
Chandler: Oh, uh, that would be mine. See, I wrote a note to myself, and then I realised I didn't need it, so I balled it up and... (sees that Monica is glaring at him) ...now I wish I was dead.
(They start kissing again and when Joey grazes, she slaps him three times, on the hand, and on both cheeks)
(They degenerate into bickering and Chandler happily starts to smoke, undisturbed.)
Phoebe: You know.. you let your guard down, you start to really care about someone, and I just- I- (starts chewing her hair)
Joey: Yeah! I was thinking about maybe going upstairs and taking a little nap on my couch. (Raises his eyebrows, questioning Ross to see if he wants to join him.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, tiem lapse. Everyone but Joey and Monica are there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is mopping around and eating ice cream.]
Rachel: Remember when we went to Central Park and rented boats?.. That was fun.
Phoebe: (waking and startling them) Oh! What what what! ...Hi.
(Chandler and Joey enter. Joey is counting his steps.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Monica are watching Phoebe sleep.]
PHOEBE: Uh huh, what is happening to the world? I mean, no no no, 'cause ET leaves, and and Rocky loses, Charlotte dies.
Monica: Well, if you want, you can stay with Rachel and me tonight.
Ross: So, I'm guessing you had an extra ticket and couldn't decide which one of you got to bring a date?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is packing her belongings to move to Rosss. Shes standing in the kitchen.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is alone as Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Joey enter dejectedly in softball gear.]
(They all get their wallets out and give generous tips.)
Rachel: Oh my God! (Rachel, Leslie, Kiki, and Joanne all scream and hug each other.
Phoebe: Excuse me. Excuse me! (Mrs. Bukart stops singing) Thanks. Um, clearly this is a very, very hard time for you. Um, but, um, we provided a service, and we deserve to be paid because you ate that service, and, um, we are not leaving here until we're paid every penny. 'Cause you know what, lady? We're part time caterers, and we have no place else to go.
Kiki: And while we're on the subject of news.. (She holds up here finger to show off her engagement ring and they all scream again.)
Joanne: Well, guess who my dad's making partner in his firm? (She points to herself and they all scream again.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Janine are pretty much making out at one of the tables as Monica and Rachel look on from the couch.]
[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Joey are kicking a can to each other.]
(They all gasp and clutch each other.)
(They walk on. Chandler and Joey start to talk but Ross stops and whines.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Monica are in pajamas and Monica is making something in the blender as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Okay, I'm not just waitressing. I'm.. I, um... I write the specials on the specials board, and, uh... and I, uh... I take the uh dead flowers out of the vase... Oh, and, um, sometimes Artelle lets me put the little chocolate blobbies on the cookies.
Joey: I know! I know! And Im going to talk to them about it. They mean so much to me. They Theyre like my family. If you guys are gonna be fighting all the time, I-I I dont think we can be together. It just, it just cant work. It cant. (Starts to break up) Im very upset.
Ross: What am I supposed to do? He's out cold! In fact he was just talking in his sleep before and evidently he wants someone named Fran to spank him harder.
Richard: And-and then I sneak out and before Monica can her parents come in.
(Chandler sulkilty picks up a garbage can lid and uses it as an umbrella.)
Rachel: They wanna know if I'm okay. Okay.. they wanna know if I'm okay, okay, let's see. Well, let's see, the FICA guys took all my money, everyone I know is either getting married, or getting promoted, or getting pregnant, and I'm getting coffee! And it's not even for me! So if that sounds like I'm okay, okay, then you can tell them I'm okay, okay?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, they're all hanging out in the living room.]
Ross: (Reading letters) Oh God. (To Marcel) We didn't get into Scranton. (To the others) That was like our safety zoo. They take like dogs and cows. See? I don't know who this is harder on, me or him.
Phoebe: No, Jack and the Beanstalk.
Rachel: Monica, what is so amazing? I gave up, like, everything. And for what?
Rachel: But see, it was a plan. Y'know, it was clear. It was figured out, and now everything's just kinda like...
Monica: Hey, Rach. How was it with your friends? (She and Phoebe scream.) Okay! How would you like some Tiki Death Punch? (She pours the contents of the blender into some glasses.)
Joey: Chandler, I can't be playing games, Ross is gonna be home soon. And I have to write five whole pages if I'm gonna stick to his schedule.
Ross: So I'm a pimp huh? It's okay! Look, I know that sometimes I can be a pain in the ass, but you just have to talk to me. Tell me if something is bothering you. Okay? And for my part I will do everything I can to keep my annoying habits just (Does the 'quiet down' maneuver).
[Scene: An Emergency Room, Chandler and Joey are leading Ross in.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the slumber party continues.]
Ross: (from his apartment) Man! They cannot get enough! (Makes like he's a robot and waves at the cutouts.)
Phoebe: Oh, I wanna see! Lemme see! Lemme see! (She runs up and takes the binoculars.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are all out on the balcony.]
Ross: Nothing. But the complaint department at the condom company got an earful. And then when I turned around she was gone.
Monica and Phoebe: Shut up!
(Chandler and Joey hold the puck and wave at the TV thing.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are still out on the balcony.]
Monica: (rolling towards the office) Im quitting!! Woo-hoo! (She rolls through a doorway and out of sight. We then hear a big crash, and see Monica roll past the door the other way.) Im okay!! Im all right!!
Rachel: Okay. (Grabs the blender and starts to drink.)
Chandler: Thanks. (The guy nods and leaves)
(There's a knock on the door, Chandler opens it, and silently hands back the cushion.)
Rachel: Nooo! (She grabs the phone and Chandler takes her place on the mat.) (On phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh, yeah, no, I know, I-I haven't been using it much. (Listens) Oh, well, thanks, but, I'm okay, really.
(The phone rings and Chandler answers it.)
Rachel: All right listen ball boys! My grandmother had one of these when I was a little girl and it was the sweetest thing! I mean it was so cute, it would sit in my lap and purr all day long, and I would drag a shoestring on the ground and he would chase it!
Phoebe: Oh, ok, you know what I don't get? The way guys can do so many mean things, and then not even care.
Phoebe: Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said 'We should do this again!'
Joey: Ok, you know what blows my mind? Women can see breasts any time they want. You just look down and there they are. How you get any work done is beyond me.
Phoebe: No, I mean you break up with Janice and I'll break up with Tony.
Rachel: I was laughing! You made me laugh! (Monica and Rachel start to squabble)
Chandler: No, I know, but it's just so hard, you know? I mean, you're sitting there with her, she has no idea what's happening, and then you finally get up the courage to do it, and there's the horrible awkward moment when you've handed her the note.
(Cut to Ross and Rachel, talking next to one of the tables.)
Monica: (leaping off of the couch and runs up) Wait! Did you say 'G.Stephanopoulos?'
(Cut back to Joey and Angela at the counter.)
Joey: Fine, fine, so, why don't the four of us go out and have dinner together tonight? You know, as friends?
Joey: You know, you and Bob, and me and my girlfriend, uh, uh, Monica.
Phoebe: I know! I know, I opened it up and there it was, just floating in there, like this tiny little hitch-hiker!
Joey: Come on, we were great together. And not just at the fun stuff, but like, talking too.