words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. The scene starts where we took off in the last episode with Ross seeing Joey and Rachel kissing. Rosss tares at them.]
Joey: Okay, Ross, I realise that you didn't expect to walk in and see that, but.. Let me explain, okay?
Joey (to Rachel): Dude, chill! (to Ross) Okay, we also kissed in Barbados, but we didn't plan it, okay? And the only reason that that happened was because I saw you kissing Charlie.
(Ross looks shocked and says nothing.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Continued from earlier.]
Joey and Rachel: Yeah.
Ross: And have you .. ed?
Ross: Absolutely. (Very Squeaky.) I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, (deep voice) I'm fine. I'm not saying I wasn't a little surprised to see you guys kissing. I mean, at first I was like.. (Screams.) But now that I've had time to absorb it; Lovin' this.
Ross: It's all working out! Me & Charlie, and you two. You know what we should do?
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler are there. They have lots of brochures about adoption in front of them.]
Monica: God, this adoption stuff is so overwhelming. There's inter-country adoption, dependency adoption.. There are so many ways to go, and this is like the biggest decision of our lives.
Phoebe: Well, if you're having a hard time, you should talk to my friends, Bill and Colleen. They adopted a kid. I'm sure they'd help you.
(Frank Jr. and the triplets enter.)
(The triplets scream and run amok in the coffeehouse.)
Frank Jr.: Oh, that's Frank Jr. Jr. pulling the tampons out of the lady's purse. And that's Chandler climbing on Chandler, and that's Leslie throwing bagels at him.
[Scene: The hallway in Ross's building. Joey and Rachel are on their way to Ross's dinner.]
Joey: Ah, can I just say I know we're doing this for Ross, and that's cool, but if it was up to me, this is not what we'd be doing on our first date.
Charlie: And you know, you can just give me my stuff whenever you want.
Ross: I thought I heard voices! Hi Charlie! (Kisses her.) Hi Joey. (Hugs him.) And.. Oh! You're gonna have to introduce me to your new girlfriend. (Laughs.) I'm just kidding, I know Rachel, I know. (He squeezes her hand.) Come, please come in. Come in.
Ross: Oh! That is so thoughtful. (To Joey.) She's a keeper. And what did you bring me? (Grabs the bag that Charlie brought for Joey.)
Ross: Underwear, a toothbrush, and Van Halen CD. I can use all these things!!
[Scene: Central Perk. Frank Jr., Phoebe and the triplets are there. The triplets are now sleeping on top of each other on the couch.]
[Scene: Bill and Colleen's apartment. Chandler and Monica enter.]
Chandler: So, a lot of malfunctioning wee-wees and hoo-hoos in this room, huh?
(Bill and Colleen look shocked.)
Colleen: Everything is broken down into categories, and then cross-referenced, and then colour-coded to correspond with the forms in the back.
Monica: It's.. It's just so pretty and white.
(Cut to the hall. Owen is wearing his scout-uniform and is looking through a box when Chandler walks up to him.)
Joey: Dude, are you okay? And when are the fajitas gonna be ready?
Rachel: Look, Charlie, I just want you to know. Ross is just having a little trouble adjusting to the thought of Joey and me. You know, he normally doesn't drink like this.
(Joey and Rachel don't know how to respond to that.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Frank Jr., Phoebe and the triplets are there. Continued from earlier.]
Frank Jr.: What's green and says "hey, I'm a frog"? A talking frog! (Laughs.) Oh, no, you can't have him, he's too funny.
Phoebe: I'm sorry, Frank. I didn't realise things were so bad. You know, I'll help out more. I can - I can babysit any time you want. You name the day, and I'll be there.
Phoebe: Well, that's not good. But you know, I can move some stuff around, and I'll be there. You and Alice just take the whole day together.
Frank Jr. (looks at the triplets): Look at them! Aw. I love you so much. (Strokes Leslie's hair, and she moves a little.) Oh crap, don't wake up, don't wake up!
[Scene: Bill and Colleen's apartment. Chandler comes running into the living room. Monica is the only one there.]
Chandler: Where are Bill and Colleen?
Chandler: I didn't get to the bathroom. I bumped into Owen on the way, and he didn't know he was adopted. And there's a slight chance I may have told him.
Monica: Oh my god, where's my purse? No, you know what? I can replace everything in there. Get that binder, and let's go!
(Bill and Colleen enter.)
Owen: He told me! And he paid me 50 dollars not to tell.
Chandler: I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something. Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door. "Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks that Santa is real."
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Rachel, Joey and Charlie are eating fajitas when Ross enters from the kitchen.]
Ross: Everyone? I would like to make a toast to Rachel and Joey.
Ross: And to love. Ah, love. L-O-V-E, love. L is for life. And what is life without love?
Ross: O is for "oh, wow!" The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I'm still fine with by the way. E is for how extremely normal I find it. That you two are together. And now one day you might get married and have children of your own.
(Ross chokes up and pauses. Rachel and Joey look at him.)
Ross: Wasn't it? And you thought it would be awkward with Joey and that you never really liked Rachel.
Joey: You know what? I think I'm gonna stay here and make sure he's okay.
(They kiss each other on the cheek, and Rachel leaves.)
Ross: So you took off my pants and shoes?
Joey: No, no, no. You actually did that when you were dancing to the Chicago-soundtrack. Look, Ross, about, about Rachel and I. Listen, you don't have to worry about that, okay? Because nothing is gonna happen.
Joey: Well, she and I said from the beginning that we weren't gonna do anything unless you were okay with it. And clearly..
Joey: It's okay, Ross, alright? I totally understand. Of course you're not fine. You're.. You're Ross and Rachel.
Ross: This is crazy. I mean, six years? And because of me you guys aren't gonna be together? Can I ask you something? Really, what is this thing with you and Rachel?
Ross: And she feels the same way?
Joey: And we're okay?
(Ross smiles and holds up his hand for a high-five, but he has forgotten about his burnt hands. He gasps in pain as Joey grabs his hand.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler enter to find Phoebe there with the triplets.]
Monica: Uhm, we just wanna give you a heads-up. Bill and Colleen hate us.
Chandler: Owen didn't know he was adopted, and Monica told him.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's]
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, shes pacing as Ross knocks on her door and opens it a little to stick his hands in.]
Rachel: Oh, youre one of those. But yknow what? I have two sisters of my own and we just-just tortured each other.
Chandler: You know when "That's fine" sounds true when someone yells it and spits!
Ross: I don't know. I mean I have plenty of opportunity. Just just now there were some women at the coffee house smiled at me.And then the other day on the subway a woman "accidentally" sat on my hand.
Monica: Only if I don't have to get up and sing.
Monica: So I don't have to sing and I can just sit there and pass judgments on others?
Phoebe: OK fine! Please come and support Mike. You don't have to sing.
Rachel: Yeah. It was after the party, we were on the balcony and...
Rachel: You know we were all alone and he was being really nice to me and, oh and he gave me this scarf...
Rachel: I don't know. It's so complicated. I work with this guy, you know, I have the baby, and I have Ross, and I just...I don'tknow what to do and I have to be at the office and see Gavin in ten minutes.
Monica: Sounds like you need to think about what you want, talk to Gavin, and you definitely should talk to Ross
Rachel: Or...I could call in sick and not deal with it at all...
Rachel: You know honey, there is a thin line between love and hate, and it turns out that line...is a scarf!
Salon girl: Ok. Very good. Have a seat right over here Mr. Bing and Sonia will be right with you.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Joey and Phoebe are there. There is a white crib decorated with balloons in the middle of the apartment. Also, there are boxes all over the apartment. Joey is working on something on the coffee table.]
Ross: Not well. I went on the subway again and someone did sit on my hand but that person was neither female nor wearing pants.
Ross: I can't believe Rachel just moved on and didn't say anything to me
(David puts his napkin up to his mouth and starts laughing at his own line. Matt notices him after a while and starts laughing as well.)
Rachel: I lied! And I'm not sick! Just stay behind the curtain!
Ross: Oh really? Did she tell you he plays the recorder, recites poetry and bakes Madeleines?
Molly: Hello! I just go and get Emma.
Chandler: I know, lets rest and drink lots of fluids. (Holds up a glass of orange juice.)
Phoebe: But you would have so much fun and you have a really nice voice.
Ross: This is great. Rachel's gonna keep kissing guys until she finds the one she wants and I'm gonna die alone.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's]
Monica: I can�t believe I did this. I can�t believe I'm singing for the people, and they liked me! Hey, did you hear thatone shouting �look at those tips�! I mean, did I really help you get a lot of tips?
Morse: You see, thats why I did so bad on this test. Im having a hard time concentrating. When youre up there (Points to the podium) and youre teaching and your face gets all serious you look so good. (In a sexy voice) You wear that tight little turtleneck sweater
[Scene: Monica's eye doctor's office, Monica and Rachel are waiting in an exam room and looking at this big white thing used to check eyes. I have no idea what it is, and if an ophthalmologist happens to know what that is, let me know.]
Rachel: Listen, my mum is not bringing the baby back until nine o� clock. So I was hoping you and I could have achance to kind of talk� somebody here?
Monica: I swear I didnt. (To Ross and Will) Hey! Is that why you guys used to go up to your bedroom and lock the door?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's]
Joey: Well my old man is doing a plumbing job down there and he heard they have an opening. So, you want me to see if I can get you an interview?
Chandler: And done!
Rachel: Hi, and I am also Emma�s mother.
MIKE: So, except for the fermentation process, beer and ale are basically the same thing.� Fascinating isn't it.
Monica: And they love me!
Michelle: Actually about an hour and a half.
Ross: When I happened to look through the window and I see you kissing a guy you know, for what? A week?
Joey: (reading) "When I think of the love that these two givers and receivers share, I can not help but envy the lifetime ahead of having and loving and giving and " And then I cant think of a good word for right here. (He points to the stop on the paper where he left off.)
Phoebe: Well, you promised me a fun road trip! Weve been on the road six hours and youve been asleep for five and a half! We are switching at the next rest stop and you are going to drive all the way back! That will be your punishment, you greedy sleeper!
Rachel: And you know, we said that we would, we would live together as long as this makes sense. An maybe this, you know,Just doesn�t make sense anymore.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is in the kitchen as Joey enters from his bedroom.]
Ross: None of the sane ones wanted to come back with me! That�s not the point. Ok? The point is you...you are the oneWho moved on and didn�t tell anyone!
Rachel: Hi. Can Emma and I live here for a while?
Rachel: Oh, Joey, it's so great to be back here. I gotta tell you, you're making it so easy on me and Emma.
MR. GREENE: ...and you sand it and you varnish it...
Joey: Hey, it's great having you back. You know, stay as long as you want, and when does she stop crying all night?
Ross: No, it's not a divorce, it is not a divorce! Anyway, I think Rachel and I need to, you know, get on with our lives, maybe, maybe start seeing other people.
Joey: Yeah. And look, I just want you to know that with Rachel staying here and everything, all my feelings from before are totally over, okay? And even if they weren't, when you accidentally walk in on a woman using a breast pump...
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is there as Phoebe enters.]
Monica: Hi! I'm Monica and I'm gonna be singing "Delta Dawn""Delta Dawn, what's that flower you have on? Could it be a faded rose from days gone by? ..."
Joey: I'm fine, I'm fine, it's just, it's just weird what's happening with her and Ross. You know, yesterday he asked me to fix him up with somebody.
Joey: I know, I know. And when they moved back in together, I figured y'know, that's where things were headed.
Phoebe: You know what? Maybe once they start dating, and they see what's out there, they'll realise how good they are for each other.
Joey: Yes, and they should name one of their kids Joey. I may not have kids; someone's gotta carry on the family name.
Phoebe: I know. They should be a family. They should get married and have more children.
Phoebe: So, what are we gonna do? Are we just gonna go ahead and set them up with people?
Joey: I know; that just pushes them further and further apart.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. They're in the kitchen as Rachel enters.]
RACH: All right, you know what, that's fine. If you guys want to be children about this, that's fine. I do not need to see it. [Rachel grabs the paper and runs across the room, reading it to herself.]
Chandler: (thinks for a second, then waves his arms, exclaiming:) AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT! (and runs out of the apartment)
Monica: Just figured, 'cause you and Ross are...
Phoebe: Well, it's this guy I used to massage. And by massage, I mean hold down so he wouldn't turn over and flash me.
Phoebe: Ooh, so this is great! Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realise how good they have it together.
[Scene: Outside Room 816, Phoebe and Joey are approaching.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Emma is there in her playpen, while Chandler is behind the couch.]
Chandler: It's okay. Go take the test and see if we're okay.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica emerges from the bathroom.]
Waiter: Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?
Chandler: Well, I think I judged her too quickly, and this time we were able to take the relationship to the next level.
Chandler: You guess I'm right? When we stayed at that bed and breakfast, you wouldn't have sex with me because you thought a deer was staring through the window.
Monica: You want a job? Turn off "Oprah," and send out a resume!
Phoebe (to Joey): Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
Chandler (laughs): Okay, I'll try. And you can't make any noise.
Phoebe: Are you kidding. He is so considerate of my feelings and... you know I think... you'd also like to know that he is a very gentle lover.
(He walks over, but just before he knocks on the door, he hears some moans and looks shocked.)
David: -hard quality. And uh, while Daryl Hannah is beautiful in a conventional way, you are luminous with a kind of a delicate grace. Then, uh, that-that-that's when you started yelling. (Sits down)
Waiter: Eh, okay, the waiters have a little pool going. We have a bet on how long it'll take before you give up and go home.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. They're done and come out of their bedroom. Emma is still gone.]
Monica: Well, that was weird. You were loud, and I was fast.
Rachel: The whole night was horrible, it was pouring down rain, and when I got there, there was no Rachel Green on the list, but there was a Rachel Greep.
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk. Rachel and Steve are walking home from their date. Steve is sobbing.]
Monica: Okay, okay, I'm sure that Rachel came home early and picked up Emma. You go look across the hall, and I'll call her cell.
(Joey and Chandler enter with Emma.)
(Monica hangs up, and Rachel looks at her phone.)
Rachel: Yah, I�ll have the soup and the salmon.
Joey: Hey, I may never have kids, and somebody's gotta carry on my family name.
Rachel: Arghh!! (She quickly hangs up the phone and starts to pace around wondering what to do.)
(She walks over to Central Perk and enters to find Ross sitting on the couch, eating crab cakes. She takes off her coat while groaning and shuddering.)
(Phoebe sees Rachel and Ross through the window.)
Rachel: Well, he makes t-shirts for a living, and he thought it would be appropriate to give me this.
Rachel: Oh, oh no. Do you think she walked in, saw you and left?
[Cut to outside. Phoebe and Joey are walking down the street to Central Perk.]
(Emma starts making noises, and Joey walks over to her playpen.)
Phoebe: Oh my god! Look, it's Ross and Rachel. Oh, the plan is working.
(They run down the street with Ross and Rachel following right behind them.)
[Cut to the city street. Monica and Chandler are jogging. Chandler is lagging behind so he hops in a cab and takes off, leaving Monica behind]
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross and Joey are sitting at a table for four. The waiter is pouring water in their glasses.]
Ross: You don't have to do anything. It will just be easier if it is the two of us, like college, remember? You...you break theice with some kind of jokes so that they know you're the funny one and I swoop in with some interesting conversation, sothey'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding, sexy one...