words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to move Joeys chair and not having much luck at it as Joey enters.]
Rachel: And your lap does not count! Okay? Come on help me move this.
Joey: The big deal is that it is the exact equal distance from the bathroom to the kitchen and its at the perfect angle so you dont get any glare coming of off Stevie.
Rachel: No! (Joey sets his beer and bag of chips down and heads into his room.) Oh what does he know! Come on Rosita, us chichas got to stick together! (She tries pulling on the back of the chair, until the hinge breaks and the back falls off.) You bitch!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are on the couch talking. Phoebe is getting coffee.]
(Phoebe sits down between Chandler and Ross.)
Ross: Oh, it looks like mom and dads house. Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front and the uh, the window in the attic is Oh my God!!
Monica: I cant believe mom and dad are selling the house!
Ross: (on phone) Uh, hello dad! Monica and I just saw the house in the paper! (Listens) Yes were surprised! (Listens) Who did you leave a message with?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is examining the injury to Rosita while Rachel is apologizing to him.]
Joey: I told you not to move it! Rach, how would you feel if say, I wanted to move you mom, and you said dont, and I did it anyway and her head fell off?
Rachel: Okay, come onJoey, Ill buy you a new one! All right? Well go down to the store right now and well-well get you a new chair.
Joey: (slowly turning and glaring at her) Shes not even cold yet!
(Rachel turns for the door and makes the "Wow!" face.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Ross and Monica are still going on about the house.]
Monica: Well, after 15 years of mom and dad keeping it as a shrine to you, its time the velvet ropes came down.
Monica: Oh please! Dad turned my room into a gym 20 minutes after I moved out! I gotta say, a tanning bed and a stack of Victorias Secret catalogues, not a gym!
Phoebe: Well okay, its already February and Ive only given two massages and they were both the worst tippers in the world!
Monica: That was me and Ross.
Phoebe: Yeah and yeah, and it would probably be better than the last telephone job I had. Yknow, I probably wouldnt have to say spank as much. (Monica and Ross are shocked.)
Supervisor: So basically this is very easy. You read from the script and try to sell as much toner as you possibly can.
Phoebe: Oh okay. Umm, all right. (Picks up the phone and starts reading from the script.) Hi, this is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies, can I speak to your supply manager please?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is entering.]
Chandler: Joey! Joe! (Sees that hes not here and starts investigating. He picks up the bag of chips.) Full bag. (He picks up the beer.) Beers still cold. Something terrible mustve happened here! (He decides its not that important; sits down on Rosita, and the back falls off causing him to flip over.) Oh no-no-no-no-no-no! (Runs over to Stevie.) Stevie, I was never here! (Runs out.)
[Scene: Ross and Monicas parents garage, Ross and Monica are arriving to go through their things. Mr. Geller is in the garage.]
Mr. Geller: Well, its time for a new family to start their memories here and hopefully their check will clear before they find the crack in the foundation and the asbestos in the ceiling.
Ross: (To Monica) Lets grab our stuff and get the hell out of here.
Ross: Cool! Dad! My report cards! Hey, check this out dad, (reading his grades) Math, A. Science, A. History, A. Gym (He puts it away and finds something else.) Oooh, my rock polisher!
Mr. Geller: Well, the white seems to be untouched. (He throws it back into the box as Mr. Geller moves a tarp and makes a discovery.) Uh-oh.
Ross: Oh no. Dad! Dad! What (He goes to open one of her boxes and it rips apart.) Oh God everythings ruined! Dad, shes gonna be crushed!
[Cut to Earls office, who is played by Jason Alexander, George from Seinfeld. They cut back and forth between Phoebes and Earls offices with each of their lines.]
Earl: Its just that I uh, have been working for ten years now at this meaningless, dead-end job and nobody here even knows I exist!
Earl: Oh yeah? I work in a cubicle surrounded by people. Ive been talking to you for five minutes now about killing myself and no ones even looked up from their desk. Hang-hang on. (To the people standing around his cubicle.) Hey everybody! Uh, Im gonna kill myself! (Theres no response; no one even looks up.) Ill get back to ya. (To Phoebe) I got nothing. Wait. (He sets the phone down.) Uh, hey Marge! (Mimes putting a gun to his head, pulling the trigger, and splattering his brain on the wall behind him. Then points to himself. Marge watches this, then goes back to work.) (To Phoebe) Ehh, nothing. Nothing.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler has replaced Rosita with his chair.]
Chandler: My chair. Now, if anybody asks, your name is Rosita! (He runs out the door, grabs the back of Rosita, and we can hear Joey and Rachel talking as they are coming up the stairs. Neither of them have reached the landing yet.)
Joey: Because, I know what I like and what I dont like! Its not the same thing!
(Chandler throws the back of Rosita into his apartment and quickly starts pushing the base into his apartment.)
(Joey and Rachel reach the landing just as Chandler closes the door.)
Joey: Well, I guess youre right. Maybe, maybe Ill take her down to the incinerator. Its gonna be so said, and kinda cool. (He goes to remove the back, but it doesnt come off. So he sits down in it, puts his feet up, stands up, and looks back at it.) Shes heeled!
Joey: Oh there is! If you want something enough and your heart is pure, wondrous things can happen!
Rachel: No, yknow what? Maybe somebody came in here and fixed it! Or something!
Rachel: Thats right Joey, the chair angel came in and heeled your chair. (She sits down in the chair.)
Joey: (angrily) Get your non-believer ass outta my chair! (She gets up and heads for her room.)
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, continued from earlier. Ross and Mr. Geller are still deciding what to do.]
Ross: Dad that wont matter to her. Look, all my stuff is safe and dry and all her is-is, is growing new stuff! See, this is exactly the kind of thing that makes her think you guys love me more than you love her.
Ross: Well, not right now. Okay look, Monica came here for some memories and damnit, were gonna give her some! Okay, grab grab some empty boxes. Okay? Well-well take stuff from mine and whatever we can pass off as hers well-well put em in their.
Ross: Like uh yknow like this! This! (He picks up one of those art projects that kids make in kindergarten and first grade.) She-she couldve made this!
Ross: Right? And this! (He picks up a trophy) She-she couldve won this!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is sitting the now heeled Rosita as Rachel is sitting in the newly arrived Francette. Francette is one of those new chairs from La-Z-Boy that has and does everything except cook and go to the bathroom for you. Its got a small refrigerator under one armrest it has phone jacks for the Internet and regular phone, and so much more.]
Rachel: Yeah! You can hook it up to your TV and you get radio!
Phoebe: Earl, youre not hearing me! All Im saying is that youre not alone all right? Everybody hates the people they work with! (One of her coworkers overhears that, and she mimes that she didnt mean him.)
Supervisor: (walking by and overhearing that) (to the rest of the staff) The new girls good.
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, Mr. Geller and Ross are finishing up recreating Monicas memories as Monica enters.]
Ross: Nu-uh! (Grabs it and examines it.)
Monica: Wow! Look at this! (Picking up a shirt.) I cant believe I even fit into this shirt! (She holds it up and it reads: Tyrannosaurus Ross.) (She turns it around and looks at it.) Oh, this is yours. (Hands it to Ross.)
Monica: (holding up a small cowboy hat) This isnt mine. (Sets it down and looks at the rest of the boxes.) Hey, this isnt, this isnt my stuff! Ugh, Ross! (Grabs and holds up a doll.) These are your boxes! Where are my boxes?
Mr. Geller: Well, the garage flooded sweetie and it ruined everything in your boxes. Im sorry.
Monica: So why-why wasnt Rosss stuff ruined? (Pause) And if you say the words medical marvel Im going to Easy Bake your head!
Mr. Geller: There was also leaves and guk and stuff.
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Screw it! Im having one. (Takes out and lights a cigarette.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is writing a letter by the bay window as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: How would you like to sit in a chair that fully reclines, has a rolling massage, and speakers in the head rest?
Chandler: Well, what did you think, that-that elves came in and fixed it?
Chandler: Im gettin my chair back! (Heads for Joey and Rachels.)
(They enter Joey and Rachels to find that Joey has broken Chandlers chair.)
Joey: Well, it looks like it wasnt heeled after all! Yeah! So, I guess this chair is mine now! (Sits down in it and groans.)
(Rachel and Joey both laugh at that suggestion.)
Chandler: Because you (Points to Joey) broke a chair and you (Points to Rachel) broke a chair! The only one around here that hasnt broke a chair, is me!
Rachel: The logic is, that there are two of us and we are both strong enough to break a chair in half!
Chandler: So Joey breaks my chair and I get nothing!
Phoebe: No! Think about it okay? This isnt even my regular job! Okay? And my first day on the job, youre my first call! And-and somebody else mightve hung up on you, but I wouldnt do that because I know about this stuff. My mom killed herself.
Phoebe: Oh my God! So was she! And! Get this, okay? Your-your name is Earl, right? Her name was Pearl, P-Earl.
Phoebe: Well, yknow Im wearing layers and its warm.
Phoebe: But ifno look, okay. These jerks might not care about you, but the universe does! And that says a lot!
Monica: Oh, this terrible! Everything is destroyed! Look at this. (She picks up some kind of furry thing.) It obviously meant enough for me to save it, and I dont even know what it is! Ohh, its still soft. (She rubs it against her cheek.) What do you think this is?
(Monica screams, throws the mouse down, and rubs her hands on Rosss sweater to clean them.)
Monica: How do you think I am?! Youve wrecked all my childhood memories. You love Ross more than me. And I just rubbed a dead mouse on my face!
Mr. Geller: Sweetheart, we love you just as much as Ross! Now, Im sorry about everything that happened and Id probably never be able to make it up to you, but heres a start. (He hands her a small box.)
Mr. Geller: Ive been thinking about getting rid of it. I was driving it the other day and saw my reflection in a store window. Your mothers right, I do look like an ass.
Ross: Well w-w-w-w-wait, w-wait, wait, wait a minute! I mean a couple of stupid boxes get wet and she gets a Porsche?!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is sitting in Joeys lap on Francette, and theyre both groaning.]
Monica: Are you kidding?! I get a Porsche and the barca loungers gone?! This is the best day ever! (Runs out.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, everyone except Chandler is there; they're opening their presents]
Rachel: (talking with a higher voice, and puckered lips kind of like you do to a baby or...well a puppy its hard to explain. Just use your imagination!) Oh, well, you are so cute! I wish I could play with you more, but Ive got to go to work! I hope I stop talking like this before my marketing meeting, yes I do. Yes I do. (still talking like that) Bye-bye, Joey. Oh, I seriously cant stop it. (exits)
Chandler: Uh, four, a boy, twin girls and another boy.
[Flashback to 524 - TOI Vegas, Part II] [Scene: The Gift Shop, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
Chandler: Okay, all right, all right, all right! Okay! (Picks up a blue sweater.) Okay, here's something, here's something blue and new.
Chandler: Well, stuff like where we'd live, y'know? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Y'know, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, we'd have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
(The others all get up and go to the window.)
Chandler: Yeah! It's a stupid job, and I could not stand leaving you. And why should I be the only one who doesn't get to do what he *really* wants to do?
(Chandler hands Phoebe an envelope, and some more to Monica)
(Monica passes the Envelopes on to Ross, Joey and Rachel.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, Monica is cleaning up, Chandler is sitting on the couch, checking the Job offers in a Newspaper.]
(Ross and Rachel enter with Emma in Rachel's hands)
Joey: And you're not helping?
(Chandler looks at the bill, thinking... then looks at the offer in the Newspaper and makes some dancing moves to see if he's up for the job...)
Joey and Chandler: (start to sing) Hey! Happy birthday ...
Joey and Chandler: Hi.
Molly: Nice to meet you guys (to Chandler and Joey).
Rachel: And Joey?
[Scene: Mike and Phoebe in Phoebe's place, Phoebe is doing a crossword puzzle]
Rachel: So hot I cried myself to sleep last night. (Joey and Chandler clap their hands)
[Scene: Rachel's office, Rachel comes in and Gavin is there]
Phoebe: So weird, you think he's so gross and you're willing to eat his crackers. (Mike throws out everything in his mouth)
Rachel: No, I just mean that, you know, first impressions don't mean anything. And I-I think you're a really good guy and I'm sorry that I misjudged you.
Rachel: I was giving you an appology and you were totally checking her out!
(Treeger leaves, and Joeys dances off.)
Rachel: That is totally different for two reasons. One - I didn't know that you knew that. And two, I wasn't some creep staring at his ass, we had a deap meaningful relationship.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Ross and Mike are sitting on the sofa.� Ross is fidgeting with the cuff of his sweater while Mike blows his cheeks out.� Ross blows a piece of fuzz from his finger.)
[Scene: Coffee place, Molly holding Emma and talking to Joey]
Chandler: And may-maybe we could end up on a boat again?
Chandler: Yeah, I'm putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy, then, then that's what we're gonna do.
Monica: Yeah. Hey, that was nice of you guys to back off and let Joey get the girl for once.
Ross, Joey and Chandler: Bye, Emma-Wemma-Demma.
Joey: Oh, man, why did have to go and say that for? Now that you told me I can't have it makes me want her even more!
Joey: So, what, you think I'm just gonna sleep with her and never call her again and things are gonna get uncomfortable? (thinks about it) Yeah, sounds about right.
Rachel: Because it took us months to find a good nanny and I wouldn't want anything to, you know, drive her away.
[Scene: Phoebe's place, Phoebe and Mike are there]
[Scene: Mon and Chan's, Ross enters]
[Scene: A Janitorial Closet, Monica and Chandler are emerging slowly.]
Ross: Listen, can you do me a favor? I'm gonna be out today. Can you just keep an eye on Joey, make sure nothing happens between him and Molly?
Joey: (to Rachel) Bub!!! (Points at her and quiets Rachel.) (To Dina) I cant believe this! Youre the good one! You went to college! Both years! Who did this to you?!
Ross: Wh - No. Some woman who sounded a lot like Joey called earlier and asked for her daughter, the "hot nanny".
(Joey falls on floor and gets up)
[Scene: Hallway, Joey get out of his appartment and Chandler jumps out of his]
[Scene: Rachel's office, Rachel and Gavin there, phone rings, Gavin picks it up]
Chandler: I snapped, okay? I couldn't handle the pressure and I snapped.
Matt: Yeah, shes trying to waft the smell across the hall to get us to come hang out in her new place, and were sitting there eating pizza and I think it was you (Points to Lisa) that said
Rachel: Oh, give me! (opens the box happily, then gets freaked and throws away the box, she and Mon jump up the sofa)
Phoebe: Well I'm sorry Rachel, but I'm not like you, ok? Not everyone can afford help. (she and Mike leave)
Ross: Where the hell are Joey and Molly? I asked you to watch them.
[Scene: Ross's place, Molly and Joey are talking on the couch]
(Ross and Chandler walk in, Joey looks disappointed)
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Evil Bitch and Sick Bastard are gone and Ross has just finished talking to a nurse as Rachel stands and stretches.]
DR. BURKE: Yeah, it sure does. [they hug and it turns into a passionate kiss]
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are still hugging as a waiter walks by the table to talk to the annoying waiter from before who is watching.]
(Molly gets up and walks away)
Phoebe: Ok, ok, you start preparing the formula and I start changing the box and then we gotta put them straight to bed.
Joey: It's like my favorite fairy tale come true! (Chandler looks at him) The princess, the stable boy and the lesbian!
Ross and Chandler: Come on! Joe!
Mike: Ok, fine, these rats are our responsibility. What happens when they mate and there are hundreds of them?
Phoebe: Mate? They're all brothers and sisters.
[Scene: Phoebe's place, Phoebe and Mike enter]
Phoebe: No. (opens the box) wh - get off your sister! Oh my god, what are we gonna do? We have 7 rats. So what if each of them has 7 rats? And then each of those have 7 rats? That's like ... (starts counting with her fingers) That's math I can't even do! What are we gonna do?
Phoebe: Good. It's just so hard, it's hard for me to ... let them go. I guess it just brings back memories, you know, from ... when I gave birth to my brother's triplets and I had to give them up. (Mike is shocked) I haven't told you about that yet, have I?
Gavin: Look, I'll just give you this and go.
Rachel: Well, it was, and you would have seen it if you didn't showed up at (looks at his watch) ... 9:30?? God! Oh, this party was lame ...
Chandler: Okay, its just weird! Okay? I dont want to be standing their saying my vows and then having the mental image of you and Monica! I-I-I need I dont know what I need. I need a walk.
Gavin: Well, let me explain how birthday parties usually work. There are presents, and a cake, perhaps a fourth or fifth person. Ok, I ... got you the present to make up for being such a jerk to you earlier.
Rachel: Aww. Well, ok, well that's very nice. And you wrote a card (opens the card). "From Gavin"
[cut to Ross from his appartment, holding baby toys and is shocked to see them kissing]
Rachel: See? Why, Gavin, why? Right when I'm about to change my opinion of you, you go and you ... (he kisses her) and you do that ... (they kiss again)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's]
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, shes pacing as Ross knocks on her door and opens it a little to stick his hands in.]
Rachel: Oh, youre one of those. But yknow what? I have two sisters of my own and we just-just tortured each other.
Chandler: You know when "That's fine" sounds true when someone yells it and spits!
Ross: I don't know. I mean I have plenty of opportunity. Just just now there were some women at the coffee house smiled at me.And then the other day on the subway a woman "accidentally" sat on my hand.
Monica: Only if I don't have to get up and sing.
Monica: So I don't have to sing and I can just sit there and pass judgments on others?
Phoebe: OK fine! Please come and support Mike. You don't have to sing.
Rachel: Yeah. It was after the party, we were on the balcony and...
Rachel: You know we were all alone and he was being really nice to me and, oh and he gave me this scarf...
Rachel: I don't know. It's so complicated. I work with this guy, you know, I have the baby, and I have Ross, and I just...I don'tknow what to do and I have to be at the office and see Gavin in ten minutes.
Monica: Sounds like you need to think about what you want, talk to Gavin, and you definitely should talk to Ross
Rachel: Or...I could call in sick and not deal with it at all...
Rachel: You know honey, there is a thin line between love and hate, and it turns out that line...is a scarf!
Salon girl: Ok. Very good. Have a seat right over here Mr. Bing and Sonia will be right with you.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Joey and Phoebe are there. There is a white crib decorated with balloons in the middle of the apartment. Also, there are boxes all over the apartment. Joey is working on something on the coffee table.]
Ross: Not well. I went on the subway again and someone did sit on my hand but that person was neither female nor wearing pants.
Ross: I can't believe Rachel just moved on and didn't say anything to me
(David puts his napkin up to his mouth and starts laughing at his own line. Matt notices him after a while and starts laughing as well.)
Rachel: I lied! And I'm not sick! Just stay behind the curtain!
Ross: Oh really? Did she tell you he plays the recorder, recites poetry and bakes Madeleines?
Molly: Hello! I just go and get Emma.
Chandler: I know, lets rest and drink lots of fluids. (Holds up a glass of orange juice.)
Phoebe: But you would have so much fun and you have a really nice voice.
Ross: This is great. Rachel's gonna keep kissing guys until she finds the one she wants and I'm gonna die alone.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's]
Monica: I can�t believe I did this. I can�t believe I'm singing for the people, and they liked me! Hey, did you hear thatone shouting �look at those tips�! I mean, did I really help you get a lot of tips?
Morse: You see, thats why I did so bad on this test. Im having a hard time concentrating. When youre up there (Points to the podium) and youre teaching and your face gets all serious you look so good. (In a sexy voice) You wear that tight little turtleneck sweater
[Scene: Monica's eye doctor's office, Monica and Rachel are waiting in an exam room and looking at this big white thing used to check eyes. I have no idea what it is, and if an ophthalmologist happens to know what that is, let me know.]
Rachel: Listen, my mum is not bringing the baby back until nine o� clock. So I was hoping you and I could have achance to kind of talk� somebody here?