words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to pry more information about Chandler and Monica from Joey who's sitting on the couch and busy downing a pizza.]
Joey: Rach, I told you everything I knew last night! Look, it's not that big of a deal, so Monica and Chandler are doing it.
Joey: Sorry. Monica and Chandler are making love.
(He points to where she's sitting and she jumps up quickly.)
Ross: (disinterested) Hey-yeah. (He hurries up to the counter.) Hey Gunther, can I have a scone please? (To the gang.) Wanna hear some good news? Someone I know is getting married! Yeah! And weddings are happy occasions! Oh, by-the-by it's my ex-wife Emily!
Ross: Oh, thanks Gunther. (He takes it, hands the plate it's on to Rachel, sets it down on the table, and proceeds to pound it into oblivion while saying.) STUPID BRITISH SNACK FOOD!!!!!!!
Phoebe: Hey, you know what might help you deal with it? Think of it this way, you and Emily are in the past and you can't be mad about the past. So are you still mad about the Louisiana Purchase?
[Scene: Chandler's office, Monica and him are at a party his office is throwing.]
Monica: I think this is so cool because none of our friends are here and we can be a real couple. We don't have to hide.
Monica: Ooh, and I can do this. (She kisses him on the cheek.)
Doug: Hey Bing! (Slaps him on his ass.) (Sees Monica) Wo-ho-ho, who's the pretty lady and what the hell is she doing with you?
Doug: Hi! And this is my wife Kara.
Doug: Yeah, Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe.
Doug: Come on honey, let's go drink our body weight. (They walk off leaving Chandler and Monica alone.)
Chandler: And! They like me more just because I was with ya! I think you repaired a lot of the damage from when they met Joey. And Doug wants us to play tennis with them. He's never even talked to me outside of work. Except for that time when we bumped into each other at that strip club. (She glares at him.) Strip church. Anyway, I'm gonna go try and find a racquet.
Chandler: Oh I used too, but then Joey thought it would be fun to go to Central Park and hit rocks at bigger rocks. (He starts to leave and stops an entering Rachel.) Hey Rach, do you have a tennis racquet?
Rachel: Oh umm, y'know I lent it to Joey and I never actually got it back.
Rachel: Well yeah, I do, but I decided to take a long lunch and spend some time with my friend Monica. Y'know I-I feel that we don't talk anymore. How are you? What is new with you?
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe is settling a dispute between the chick and the duck.]
Phoebe: Nothing! (Picks up and sets the chick down on the floor.) (To the chick.) This is not over!
Ross: I was up all night writing this really nasty letter to Emily! It was perfect and now it's all covered in-in (The duck quacks.) Actually, thanks!
Ross: Yeah, I'm gonna stay and read my book. I just wanna be alone right now.
Joey: Oh. Are you sure you don't want to come? Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, they get mail and stuff.
Ross: (licks the envelope and encounters a foreign substance on the glue.) Oh God!
[Scene: A tennis court somewhere in the city of New York, it's the doubles match-up of a century Chandler and Monica versus Doug and Kara.]
(Hits the ball towards Chandler who returns it back to him. He then hits the ball at Monica who slams it and it bounces off Kara's leg.)
Kara: (out of breath and mouths) I'm not all right.
Monica: Am I on fire today or what?! Those birds are browned, basted, and ready to be carved!
Monica: Are you crazy?! We own those two! I mean look at 'um, he can't breath and she's popping pills.
(She serves to Doug who returns it to Chandler. As it bounces over his head Chandler swings and misses.)
Monica: I got it! (She hits a forehand smash that bounces right in between Doug and Kara and scores a point.)
(Chandler glares at her and she shrugs her shoulders. Monica serves again; and Kara returns it.)
(Chandler cuts in front of her and hits the ball high and long.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Chandler are returning from the game.]
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, the next morning the girls are there with Joey.]
Monica: Oh my God! (She goes to hug him, stops short, and hits him on the shoulder.) Where the hell have you been?!!
Ross: I uh, went to a bar. And then I just uh, just walked around for a while.
[Suddenly the door opens and Ross's mystery girl enters. I'll give you a hint to who it is: OH .MY .GAWD!! Uh-huh, it's Janice.]
(They all turn and with shocked looks on their faces stare at Ross. Ross is at a loss for words at this moment.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, continued from earlier.]
Phoebe: Oh, nobody's judging you. (They all turn and look at Ross.)
Janice: Oh! Okay! (To Ross) You, Mister Right Place at the Right Time, call me! (Does her famous, or is that infamous, laugh and exits.)
(They all turn and glare at Ross.)
Ross: Look, I didn't lose my mind! Okay, Janice and I have a lot in common! We've-we've both been divorced. We-we both have kids.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is going through her purse as Rachel rushes in.]
Rachel: Ugh, Monica, I know about you and Chandler.
Rachel: I overheard you guys on the phone the other day, and you said, "I'll just tell Rachel that I'm doing laundry for a couple of hours." And he said, "Laundry? Is that my new nickname?" And you said, "No! You know what your nickname is, Mr. Big."
Rachel: All right. So you're telling me that there is nothing going on between you and Chandler.
Monica: Me and Chandler?! (Does her fake laugh.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
(Neither of them turns around from watching the chick and the duck look for the tasty treat.)
Ross: Yeah! I opened up to her about all the terrible stuff that's been happening to me. I mean I talked for hours. (Joey has lost interest and is watching the race again.) It is amazing to have someone give you such-such focused attention.
Joey: And the duck gets the Nutter-Butter!
[Scene: Doug's house, Chandler, Monica, and them are just finishing dinner.]
Doug: But seriously, I believe that we should all support President Clinton. And her husband Bill. (Chandler does the laugh.)
Doug: Well, maybe I'll bring it out and have Monica stick her finger in it. That oughta sweeten it up, huh? (Once again, with the laugh.)
(Doug and Kara go get the coffee.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is going through the mail as Joey enters.]
Joey: Oh well, Chandler and Monica are over there and it's kinda hard to concentrate.
Rachel: What?! She just called and said that she was gonna be working late! She keeps lying to me! That's it! Y'know what? I'm just gonna go over there and confront them right now!
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Rachel enters and sneaks up to Chandler's bedroom where she overhears Chandler and Monica talking.]
Monica: Sorry! I'm justI'm not very good at this! I'm a terrible liar and I hate having to lie to Rachel!
(Rachel decides not to confront them and starts to walk out, knocking over a lamp in the process.)
Rachel: 'Kay. (Pause.) Congratulations on your new job. (She goes and hugs Monica and is almost in tears.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Janice are sitting on the couch.]
Ross: This isn't what I ordered! Man! Can anything go right in my life?! First my marriage falls apart and then
Janice: I know! I know! And then you lose your apartment! And then you lose your job! And then your ex-wife gets married so fast! And now the coffeeahh!! Ross, we need to talk.
Janice: Oh hi! Well, I guess that's two out of three, Joey. (Laughs and exits.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Chandler is reading a magazine as Ross hands him a beer.]
Ross: I just wanted to tell you something before you heard it from someone else and I hope this isn't too weird, but uh, I had uh, a thing with Janice. (He laughs, his real laugh this time.) What you're-you're not mad?
Chandler: (realizes what Ross just said and the implications to him) I am mad! But you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna forgive you! Because that's what friends do! They forgive their friends when they do everything you just said, all on the list there. Well, but I want you to remember that I forgave you.
Chandler: And, I want you to remember that I gave you twenty (counts his money) seven dollars. No strings attached. Now, if you can't remember that, I think we should write it downlet's write it down!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the couch as Rachel returns carrying a bunch of shopping bags.]
Emily: Its not the pants. Its you that is backwards. And if, and if you dont understand how important this is to me, well then, perhaps we shouldnt get married at all! (She storms out.)
Phoebe: No. No. Its just I was umm, I was with Ross and Jill after you left and umm, Im pretty sure I saw a little spark between them.
Phoebe: Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I love Ross, I think hes such a great guy. Here. (Hands her the picture, Rachel grabs it out of her hand.) Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that youre with Ross okay and imagine that youre kissing him. And youre-youre running your hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross its some kind of grease, itsuck! Hah?
Joey: Okay, all right, whew! What do you say we all clear out of here and let these two lovebirds get back down to business? (Ross turns and glares at him.) Hey-hey-hey, I-I-I'm just talking here, he-he's the one doing your sister.
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys hotel room. Chandler is watching TV as Joey returns, still wearing his hat.]
Phoebe: All right, and umm (She grabs the picture and smacks her in the head.)
Chandler: No-no-no, yknow what? I really shouldnt have said that you were embarrassing me, I mean that really wasnt cool. And if it makes you feel any better, Ive had a really lousy day.
Chandler: Uh, Yes. Yes. Ive just been going over your data here, and little thing, youve been post-dating your Friday numbers.
Joey: (on tape) Okay, so say hi to my friend and tell him that you like the hat.
Monica: (laughs) Yes, I did! And you are welcome!
Monica: Okay, all right dont judge me to much. Okay? Um, but I saw this info-mercial, and um, I swear to you I have never-ever bought anything on TV before, except for this mop. But there was this stuff on leg waxing, it just, it looked so amazing....
Ross: I dont know, I told her it was stupid to put off the wedding just because the hall was gone and she liked flipped out.
Ross: Come on. (They leave and Chandler sticks his head out.)
Joey: Ross-Ross-Ross-Ross! Stay away from that guy (Points), and that guy (Points). And that oneDude! Theyre all huge!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the phone rings and Phoebe answers it.]
Phoebe: Hey, Joey! Hey! Ooh! Ooh! I just say someone on thethat looks just like you on the subway. And I was gonna go over and say hi! but then I figured, he doesnt care if he looks like you.
[Scene: Ross and Emilys planned wedding place, Monica is dragging Emily in.]
(There is a knock on Rachel and Phoebes door.)
Megan: And now youll see me buying it.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Joey are standing at the counter. Monica is flipping a light switch on and off next to the door.]
Ross: Yeah! Yeah, Emily always wanted to get married in this beautiful place that her parents got married, but its going to be torn down, so I mean, I-I know its crazy, but everything up til now has been so crazy, and I dont know, this just feels right. Yknow?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is in her bedroom.]
Ross: And, I dont know, if it starts to rain
Monica: Ohh. And I dont even have a date.
Ross: Uh, everyone, this is Chandler! My roommate and lead singer of our band!
[Scene: Rehearsal dinner hall. Ross and Emily are standing in the reception area. Monica arrives with her parents.]
Ross: (Ross hugs his mom and dad)Hi. Mom. Dad.
Joey: Well uh, I went down there and told him that no one treats my friends like that and that hed better come up here and apologize. Ill see you later. (Starts to leave)
Ross and Monica: Dad, dad. We got it!! We Got It!!!
Monica: Umm, I think I spoke too quickly. There-theres a learning curve with this job and maybe we can try it again.
Kathy: Oh. Well uh, (to Chandler) you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm (She looks at the gang who are watching, they take the hint and leave them alone.) Listen I dont wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I cant stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I dont wanna be the cause of that. So, I dont think we can see each other anymore. Im gonna go to my moms in Chicago, Im gonna stay there for awhile. I think this couldve be something really amazing, but yknow this is probably for the best. Yknow? Im gonna miss you. Good-bye, Chandler.
Mr. Waltham: Well theres one (pointing towards Jack) and theres another (pointing towards Judy).
Ross: Am I?! And was it your idea to postpone the wedding?!
Older Scientist: Im Andrew, and I didnt pay for this pear.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
Phoebe: And a small piece of chocolate.
Mrs. Geller: Ooh, Jack....(He looks over to her) Sometimes I forget how powerful you can be. (They embrace and kiss passionately.)
Monica: (Looking nauseous from her parents kissing.) And Im going to go get drunk. (Gets up to get a drink.)
Ticket Agent: And I do have one seat left.
Mr. Geller: And you tell him no one takes advantage of the Gellers.
CHAN: [slowly lifts coffee cup to his mouth] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [slowly sets the cup back down] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [Joey intercepts the cup and puts it down for him]. She's insane, the woman is insane. It's before work, it's after work, it's during work. She's got me doing butt clenches at my desk. And now, they won't bring me my mail anymore.
Margha: I now find you shallow and um, a dork. All right, bye.
MONICA: Yes, I will start with the carpaccio, and then I'll have the grilled prawns.
[Scene: The Girls apartment. Phoebe is dialing the phone and Rachel runs in the door.]
Fat Monica: Umm, Chandler, if you want I can make you some macaroni and cheese for dinner.
Phoebe: (Looking relieved. She puts down the phone.) Oh thank god. Oh, you changed your mind. Oh, look I know you probably want to be alone, and you dont want to talk about it, thats fine. I just want you to know, I think you are doing the right thing and...
Chandler: He could be alone. This morning I heard him do push-ups, and then talk to his triceps.
[Scene: The Rehearsal Dinner Hall. Chandler, Joey, Ross, Emily, Monica, and all the bridal party are seated at the table. Chandler gets up to make a toast.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its the middle of the night. Joey is walking into the living room, and runs into the entertainment centre.]
[Time lapse. Monica is wearing the dress and starring at herself in the mirror.]
Chandler: Oh and Ross was like what? A lion tamer?
Phoebe: Ooh, ice! I am so in the mood for ice! (They go and get the coffee and the ice leaving Ross and Emily alone.)
Phoebe: Hey! So I had a great day, Rick and I really hit it off, and we started making out, and then my boss walked in and fired me for being a whore.
Joey: Uh, y'know what, were having second thoughts about our copying needs. And well need a little more time to think about it.
[Scene: Later that evening at the rehearsal dinner. Chandler and Monica are sitting on a sofa. Chandler is covering his face in embarrassment because of the toast.]
Phoebe: No! Because hes in love with the British chippy! Look, Rachel, if you go, youre just gonna mess with his head and ruin his wedding! Yknow, its too late! You missed youre chance! Im sorry, I know this must be really hard, its over.
Chandler: Y'know, if I won $5,000 I'd join a gym, y'know build up my upper body and hit Richard from behind with a stick! (Mimics it.)
Rachel: Okay, you know what/ Youre going to have to call that plane and tell them to swing around and come and pick me up.
(As she is drinking, Monica laughs and Chandler's joke and Diet Coke comes out of her nose.)
Monica: That really means a lot. Oh, and Mom, dont bite your nails.
(Ross points out Rachel to Chandler and goes over to talk to her. Rachel is checking out her nose in her compact mirror.)
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is returning from Monica and Rachel's with his bedding. Eddie is standing at the bar with his dehydrator and loads of fruit.]
Ross: No I'm serious. I mean she wants to date people? Fine! I don't care but...at least she could have told me. You knowI...I've been putting my life on hold and just concentrating on Emma but if she wants to go out there kissing guys shebarely knows, then so will I ! Very funny! Ross is gay! Ah! Ah!
[Scene: The church where Ross and Emily are to be married. Judy, Andrea, and Monica enter together.]
Monica: (Angrily.) You can let some of them go by!(Judy and Andrea go to the front of the chapel. Joey approaches Monica.)
Felicity: Mmm. (She pushes him up against the wall and they begin to kiss.)
Monica: (Comes up for below the covers and looks concerned.) Do you think he knew I was here? (Chandler quickly looks at Monica not knowing what to say.)
Ross: Well, that's cool. So did (She walks away from him and he shuts up.)
Charity guy: Hey, it’s not my business, (he takes their check from a drawer) besides it’s probably a good thing. We really would have been spoiling the children, all those food, and warm clothing…
Mr. Waltham: You want a piece of me, sir? Is that what your saying? (Pointing at Jack and poking him) You want a piece of me?
Monica: (to Chandler) Hey, you think, you can keep it another night? (She has a really teasing look on her face and keeps twirling Chandler's beard.)
Ross: My God. Rachel! (He walks towards her, grasps her hands and kisses her on the cheek.) Your here. I cant believe it. (She giggles.) What happen? Why are you here?
Emily: As my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, until death parts us.
Minister: (Looking and feeling awkward. he looks towards Emily.) Uhh...Shall I go on?
ROSS: All righty roo. [closes the door] What a great moment to say that for the first time. [goes to get the cigarettes and glasses]
Minister: (Looking and feeling awkward. he looks towards Emily.) Uhh...Shall I go on?
(The crowd goes wild, and Ross is the only one boo-ing him.)
Phoebe: Ohh thats so sweet! (Her cell phone rings.) Oh! Hang on! (Quickly grabs a cigarette and starts to light it as her phone rings.) Hang onnnnnn!!! (Gets the cigarette lighted and answers the phone.) (On phone.) Go!! No! No-no! I said sell when it hits 50! 5-0, its a number! It comes after 4-9!! No, its okay. Its okay, youre allowed one mistake. Just kidding, you are of course fired.
Ross: Hey! I just spoke to your dad, and you know what? He seems to think well be able to find a new place for the wedding.
Ross: As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, until death parts us. Really, I do. Emily. (Points at her.)
Minister: As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, till death parts us.
Joey: (To the gang) Hey, no matter what happens with Ross and Emily, we still get cake right?
Ross: And, I love you!! (He walks into the living room)
(Cut to Chandler and Monica at the buffet table.)
Kim: Oh thats interesting? Because I checked and only one keycard was used to access the copy machine yesterday during lunch and that keycard belonged to you, Rachel.
(Mrs. Walthams phone rings and she answers it.)
Joey: Well, why dont you tell me what youre supposed to be! Huh? Because I sure as hell cant figure it out! I talk to you and its nothin. You look at me, and nothin. (He kisses her, more passionately this time) Nothing.
Chandler: Oh wow, I hope you dont take this the wrong way but, I know we had plans to meet up tonight and, ugh, Im just kinda worried about what it might do to our friendship.
(Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller.)
Monica: Oh, just some pictures I made and hung up. I thought theyd brighten up the place. They do dont you think?
(Cut to Monica and Chandler, Monica is running up to him.)
(Cut to Rachel and Ross.)
(She laughs and opens the door to reveal Rachel sitting on the bed.)
(They all start laughing, and quickly stop when they realize what she just said and run over to the bathroom.)
[Scene: London Marriott, Monica and Chandler are walking to her room.]
(The phone rings and Rachel answers it.)
Rachel: Ross said my name. Okay? My name. Ross said my name up there that obviously means that he still loves me! (They both just stare at her.) Okay, dont believe me, I know Im rightdo you guys want to go downstairs and get a drink?
Chandler: Well, Ross and Emily arent gonna use it.
[Scene: Chandlers hotel room. Chandler and Monica are lying in the bed together talking. Theres an awkward air between them. They are both clutching the covers in from of them.]