words in movies
Phoebe: You know, I might know somebody. Hey, how about you set me up with someone, and we double date!
Monica: So you're gonna be gone four days a week? (Thinks about it.) No.
Joey: (Realizes that he has forgotten all about the double date) Oh my God!
Phoebe: Of course not! And you're gonna love Mary Ellen. She's really smart and cute and funny, and I can't tell you how I know this, but she' not opposed to threesomes. So tell me some about my guy.
Chandler: I know what she's talking about.
Phoebe: You know, it's so surprising that you and Joey have known each other for so long and I've never heard about you.
Joey: Because I forgot about our date, I'm so sorry.
Monica: So Nancy told me about this job at this great restaurant, Javo (sp?). It's just a little outside of Tulsa.
Monica: Well, if you really think about it, I mean four days is not that long. I mean, I see you Monday before you go to work, and I see you Thursday when you get back, and I always work late on Tuesdays, so really if you think about it, it's really just one day. And well, if we can't make it one day, we've got real problems my friend.
Phoebe: That's true. (Pause) Well, is anything you told me about yourself true?
Joey: I'm telling ya... (his eyes open wide and he looks like his eyes are about to pop out. He stares at Ross like this without blinking) I can do it.
Joey: Shh. He did it. He told her off, and not just about the kiss, about everything.
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you know that right now, your baby's only this big? (measures about 2 inches with his thumb and index finger) This is your baby. (in baby-like voice) Hi Daddy!
Joey: No, it's just ah, I care so damn much about little Ben that uh, it was more important to see him succeed.
Rachel: I mean, we are way past the fling thing, I mean, I am feeling things that I've only read about in Danielle Steele books, you know? I mean, when I'm with him, I'm totally, totally...
Carol: Don't you want to know about the sex?
Rachel: Oh man! This is so great! I actually feel like Im going on a real date! Although, I have a hint of morning sickness, and Im wearing underwear that goes up to about (She snaps the waistband on her underwear that is just slightly below her breasts) there.
Joey: You knew about that?
Joey: Ok, ok, How about if we split it?
Joey: Aw, I know all about Kip!
[Scene: Phoebe's Massage Parlor, Phoebe's assistant is telling her about the changes to her schedule.]
Monica: I'm sorry, I'm just excited about being an aunt!
Chandler: See, I'm finding out all this stuff about you today, like you like the Law & Order and that you flirted with every guy in the Tri-State area!
Ross: Wait, did you get to the part about his 'huge throbbing pens'? Tell ya, you don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those!
Chandler: (gesturing towards another table) What about the birds?
Joey: All right, how about the ladybugs?
Joey: Will you pick one, just pick one! Here, how about that one? (points to a table)
Phoebe: Ok, um, (clears throat) we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. (Phoebe opens a tin and offers Rachel a cookie)
Phoebe: No, wait, oh, what are we sorry about?
Rachel: No...oh, I feel so stupid! Oh, I think about the other day with you guys and I was all "Oh, Paolo, he's so great, he makes me feel so..." Oh, God, I'm so embarrassed!
Rachel: I am so sick of guys. I don't want to look at another guy, I don't want to think about another guy, I don't even want to be near another guy. (Ross crosses arms)
Phoebe: Oh, honey, honey, tell them the story about your patient who thinks things are, like, other things. Y'know? Like, the phone rings and she takes a shower.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is lamenting to everyone about hid dad's affair.]
Joey: Okay. Well, if that's how you feel about it, fine! None of you get to live with me in my great big hand-shaped mansion! Except uh, you Pheebs. You can live in the thumb.
Joey: I've been thinking. Y'know, about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls...
Ross: I dunno, there's just something about...
Chandler: No, nono, don't- don't worry about it. Believe me, apparently other people have made the same mistake.
Chandler: Aww, we were worried about you! Hm. I guess I better get used to things crapping in my hand, huh?
Chandler: Oh, uh, listen, about tonight...
Ross: Marcel, c'mere, c'mere. (He sits down and Marcel jumps down and sits beside him) Well buddy, this is it. There's just a coupla things I want to say. I'm really gonna miss you, and I'm never gonna forget about you. You've been more than just a pet to me, you've been more like a be- (Marcel climbs down and starts humping his leg) Okay, Marcel, please, could you leave my leg alone? Could you just stop humping me for two seconds?! Marcel, would- okay, just take him away. Just take him.
ROSS: Look, do you love her? And you don't have to be too emphatic about this.
Chandler: It doesn't matter. I just don't want to be one of those guys that's in his office until twelve o'clock at night worrying about the WENUS.
Ross: Y'know what, 100 million people went to see a movie about what I do, I wonder how many people would go see a movie called, Jurassic Parka.
Ross: Still, you- you say Minnie, you hear Mouse. Um, how about, um.. how about Julia?
Joey: I don't know. We're talking about whipped fish, Monica. I'm just happy I'm keeping it down, y'know?
Chandler: Ooh, you know, I had a grape about five hours ago, so I'd better split this with you.
Tommy: (noticing the chick) Ooh, hey! Hey, there little fella. (picks up the chick) Mr. Fuzzy-Man, how are you doing? (starts to pet him) Aww. (The chick poops on his hand.) Eww! Oh! Eww! Gross! Idiot!! Stupid little, fuzzy, yellow creature!! Oh look at me, Im so cute, Im a little chick whos disgusting! God, youre so stupid, how are you not yet extinct!! (the duck wattles behind him and quacks) (to the duck) Quack-quack, quack-quack!! What are you quacking about?! Dumb Donald Doo-Doo!!
Joey: He hooked up!! Tell us about her!
Phoebe: Sorry. How about over here? (presses down hard again)
Phoebe: What about this? (she starts using her elbows on his back, he yells in pain)
Chandler: You know that thing, when you and I talk to each other about things?
(Marcel scampers about, interfering with the neatness.)
[Scene: Rifts Restaurant, as seen in Mad About You, Joey and Chandler are there.]
(He happily gestures at Chandler that there was nothing to worry about, then exits. Rachel and Monica are concerned for poor Phoebe, who slides back down next to Ross.)
Mr Campbell: Dating profile? I-I-I'm talking about the work resumé.
MNCA: Oh no no, this is not for him, this is for me. That way he's still sober but I find his stories about shoelaces much more amusing.
Joey: Y'know what I mean, about how I'm always going out with all these women. And I always figured, when the right one comes along, I'd be able to be a stand-up guy and go the distance, y'know? Now I'm looking at my dad, thinking...
Susan: I mean, thats what this is all about, right? Ross? Ross?
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone but Joey is waiting for Phoebe to arrive for her surprise birthday party. Rachel and Monica is telling Chandler about Rachel's incident.]
Mr. Geller: No. Your mother really did the work. I was busy with the business. I wasn't around that much. Is that what this is about?
Rachel: (as Monica) Thanks! I've been here about six years, and Rachel moved in a few months ago.
Phoebe: (as Ursula): Yeah, um... (nervously clears her throat) You know you, you should just forget about what I said under the bridge, I was talkin' crazy that night, I was so drunk!
Joey: I don't get it. What happened? What about everything you said under the bridge?
Phoebe: Joey. You know, um, he's really nutsy about you.
Chandler: What? (turns around quickly still ready to throw the dart and Joey quickly ducks and hides behind the chair) What are you, what are you talking about?
Rachel: What are you talking about?! Mindy, the guy is the devil! He's Satan in a smock!
Chandler: Is this still about her whole 'The Flintstones could've really happened' thing?
Phoebe: About how good your cards were.
Joey: About what?
Joey: You know what, you guys? It's their first time, why don't we just forget about the money, alright?
Phoebe: Thank y... (thinks about it)
Joey: Alright now listen, you guys, we talked about it, and if you don't want to play, we completely understand.
(Susan just glares back, as Rosss inappropriate joke falls flat. Meanwhile, a bubble is about to burst...)
Ross: Let's not talk about losing. Just deal the...
Rachel: (on phone) Excuse me. (covers up phone; to Ross) It's about the job.
(Everyone says no and folds, except for Ross, who thinks about it.)
(Ross stares at her. Thinks about it. Puts cards on table, face down.)
(Monica picks up a glass to take a drink, everyone ducks as though she was about to throw it.)
Rachel: Oh, I don't know. I guess it's not about no guys, it's about the right guy, y'know? I mean, with Barry, it was safe and it was easy, but there was no heat. With Paolo, that's all there was, was heat! And it was just this raw, animal, sexual...
Chandler: Yes, and we all know how cruel a parent can be about the flatness of a child's pillow.
Luisa: (Animal Control) Somebody called about a monkey?
Monica: Pheebs, you remember how we talked about saying things quietly to yourself first?
Joey: (laughs) Monica, look... I don't think you and I have any secrets anymore... (Monica keeps looking at Joey) Not ready to joke about it yet, okay, I see you later. (Joey walks out)
Woman No. 1: No. No, haven't seen a monkey. Do you know anything about fixing radiators?
Joey: We can't, alright? (To the women) We're sorry. You have no idea how sorry, but... We promised we'd find this monkey. If you see him, he's about yea high and answers to the name Marcel, so if we could get some pictures of you, you'd really be helping us out.
Mr. Heckles: What about it?
Chandler: (to Phoebe) You know what's weird. Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?
Phoebe: Have you thought about what you would be giving up? You can't move out of the city, what if you want Chinese food at 5am? Or a fake Rolex that breaks as soon as it rains or an Asian hooker sent right to your door?
Phoebe: Ooh! How about Agamemnon?
Joey: Man, we gotta do something about that guy. This morning, I caught him looking into our apartment. It creeps me out! I feel like I can't do stuff!
Rachel: Well, what about Mindy?
Rachel: No, not that, I mean, what about you and Mindy?
ROSS: I, I don't know, it's got all this stuff about wind and trees and there's some kind of sacred pool in it. I mean, I don't really get it but she's, she's pretty upset about it.
Chandler: What are you talking about?
Ross: Yknow, maybe she is too young for me. Yknow, when I was over there and she was running around with her friends, I felt like I was a baby-sitter. I finally started to see what you guys were talking about. I dont know what to do.
MONICA: What about the part where he has rabies?
Ross: Listen Adrienne, you can't tell Chandler about this.
Rachel: Please. I haven't heard from her in seven months, and now she calls me? I mean, what else is it about? Oh! She was my best friend, you guys! We went to camp together... she taught me how to kiss..
Joey: Yeah. Yeah, so what? (On phone) Look, I live across the street, (walking to the window) and I know all about you and your little telescope, and I don't appreciate it, okay? (Listens) Yeah, I can see you right now! (Listens) Hello! (Listens) If I wanna walk around my apartment in my underwear, I shouldn't have to feel like(Listens)Thank you, but... that's not really the point... (Listens) The point is that... (Listens) Mostly free weights, but occasionally..
Joey: (sticking his head out the door) What are you guys woofing about?
Joey: I dont know. I like her, you know. Shes different. Theres uh, somethin about her.
Chandler: Well, she seems very nice and everything, but that whole thing about her coming all the way down here, just to see if I was okay? I mean,... how needy is that?
Chandler: Well, that's what we said about Joey...
Young Ethan: You know, you read about it, you see it in the movies. Even when you practice it at home, man oh man, it is nothing like that.
Young Ethan: Yeah. You do know I was talking about you, right?
Monica: No-no. Nothing wrong about that.
Chandler: Oh, come on. You told me about the last dream.
Mrs. Geller: No, I'd be hearing about 'Why didn't I get the honey-glazed ham?', I didn't spend enough on flowers, and if I spent more she'd be saying 'Why are you wasting your money? I don't need flowers, I'm dead'.
RICHARD: Uh, Phoebe, I don't think your mom would want you to see what's about to happen.