words in movies
[Scene: Rifts Restaurant, as seen in Mad About You, Joey and Chandler are there.]
Chandler: This is unbelievable. Its been like a half an hour. If this was a cartoon, youd be looking like a ham right about now.
Chandler: You know that thing, when you and I talk to each other about things?
(Marcel scampers about, interfering with the neatness.)
(He happily gestures at Chandler that there was nothing to worry about, then exits. Rachel and Monica are concerned for poor Phoebe, who slides back down next to Ross.)
(Jamie Buchman and Fran Devanow enter the coffee house. They look about them as Jamie removes her coat and scarf.)
Joey: I dont know. I like her, you know. Shes different. Theres uh, somethin about her.
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
(Susan just glares back, as Rosss inappropriate joke falls flat. Meanwhile, a bubble is about to burst...)
Susan: I mean, thats what this is all about, right? Ross? Ross?
Mr.Heckles: See, this is just the kind of thing I was talking about.
Ross: Yeah! Yeah! OK! Sure! Look! Can we...can we talk about what happened here last night?
Ross: OK you...you really don't know what I am talking about?
Phoebe: Wow! Talking about high maintenance
Ross: Right that's why I came over to talk about. Hum...I saw Rachel kissing some guy on your balcony,even though there were NO LIGHTS !
Monica: Sounds like you need to think about what you want, talk to Gavin, and you definitely should talk to Ross
Ross: No no, about a month ago she gave her number to some guy in a bar.
Rachel: Oh you're not. You're not gonna get in the middle of anything, don't worry about Ross really, really.(She hears the noise of the key in the lock) Oh! Hide! That's Ross! Hide! Hide!
Gavin: Yeah! But you said not to worry about...
Gavin: I think you should talk to Ross about all this.
Chandler: All right, I will help you out but you have to promise me you will not tell anyone what I am about to tell you.
Ross: But, what�s great is that you don�t mind talking about it.
Ross: I told you about my daughter.
Monica: Honey, you�re just in time, I�m about to sing another song!
Ross: So, I got us some reservations for Sunday night, okay? How about, Ernies at 9 oclock?
Michelle: Actually about an hour and a half.
Rachel: How do you know about that?
Rachel: Oh, that�s what this is all about? Did you bring her up here to get back at me?
Rachel: Oh God, I can�t believe you�re making such a big deal about this. It was one kiss, one guy, one time!
Rachel: Whoa, how do you know about that?
Ross: What about the guy from the bar?
Rachel (feeling awkward): So, what do think you wanna order? I'm really excited about that chicken.
Phoebe: You know, you are talking about one of my dear, dear friends.
Rachel (awkward chuckle): Now, come on, come on, Steve. There must be something that you like about yourself.
Joey: Hey! It is unacceptable that you two would have sex with Emma in the next room. I'm gonna have to tell Rachel about this.
Rachel: Oh, well, I...It's kind of weird talking to you about this, but...
Joey: I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it myself. Chandler is my best friend, it would be wrong. Good...(He winks)...But wrong.
Monica: Listen...I need to know that what I'm about to ask you, will never get back to Chandler.
Monica: (Looks exasperated) Ok first of all...It would be great. But that's not what I'm here to talk to you about. I need to borrow some money.
Mike: What are you talking about?
[Scene: Cole-Geddes Casting Agency, Joey is there on his audition and thinking about that 2,000 bucks for the twins study.]
Chandler: Listen er..I need to ask you a favor but you can't tell Monica anything about it.
Chandler: What would she get for herself for two thousand dollars that she wouldn't tell me about?
Mike: Well hey, I wanna ask you about Monica's little "groomy" joke.
Mike: I get the joke. Sophisticated as it was. Now the thing I wanna say is... maybe we should have talked about this before. Us living together, you're not expecting a proposal, right?
Mike: Look it's not about who I would marry. And I was certain the first time I got married it would last forever. And I was totally wrong!
Mike: Look Phoebe, It's not about you. I just never wanna get married again.
Chandler: Oh no..don't thank me. Thank you. You know there's not one thing I would change about you? Not one single thing! And definitely not... two... single things.
Monica: I know why do you think he was so worried about me getting bigger?
Phoebe: Listen, I wanted to ask you something about marriage.
Monica: Oh my god. We're trying to get pregnant so he's probably starting to freak out about the fact that my body is going to change.
Phoebe: No...I really wanted to know how you feel about it.
Ross: Yeah see? And you are so excited about moving in together before, and you know what? You should be. It's a big deal!
Monica: About that? Erm...I'm going to change.
Phoebe: Now if you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.
Mike: Can we at least try living together? I mean you might change your mind about marriage.
Chandler: Well maybe you're going about this the wrong way. You know I mean think about it. Single white male, divorced three times,two illegitimate children. The personal ad writes itself....
Phoebe: Well no, when I get to the point where... you know... I'm ready to hear cruel mocking jokes about Mike... I'm gonna come to you.
Chandler: You wanna talk about people's feelings? You should have heard how hurt professor Stern was yesterday when I told him I wouldn't be able to go with him to Key West!
Phoebe: (after a pause) Unless... Maybe it's too crazy about this... Alright so... you know, there is no future... but that doesn't mean we still can't have fun. You know what? Forget what I said.
Joey: Oh, no don't worry about that, I swallowed that years ago.
Ross: What are you talking about? You get sixty responses just for coming out of the closet! I didn't get one response! And I'm dead!
Mike: It can't be any harder than this... I mean, If I had known the last time I saw you would be the last time, I... I would have stopped to memorize your face, the way you move, everything about you. If I had known the last time I kissed you would have been the last time... I never would have stopped.
Chandler: Alright look, let's think about this, ok, do you really think that people are gonna stir up your family at this tragic time? That people are gonna post condolences on a website? This is not about people not caring that you're dead .This is about people not having a decent outlet for their grief.
Joey: AH HAH! I DID IT! HA HA! Alright... (He takes a box out, about to close fridge, then thinks.) Better take all I can carry. Who knows when i'll be able to get in here again!
Tom: Thanks... uh... I'm so sorry about Ross, it's...
Monica: Anyway um, when he left he forgot to take the poem with him. Now, I am like totally dense about poetry, but I think it's pretty good all right. Check it out. (hands them the poem)
Kori: I thought so many times about calling him and asking him out. I guess I really missed my chance.
[Scene: Chandler's hotel room, he's sitting there with Joey who's talking about his helmet and running his hand through that feathery thing at the top.]
Ross: (on the phone) No Mum, I'm not dead. I know it's not something to kid about. It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok? (pause) Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless. (pause) Monica?
Ross: Oh oh, we think Emma is about to start talking so we're trying to be careful about what words we use in front of her.
Chandler: Yeah...I mean I want this so much! I mean, I wanna get one, I want my friend Charlie to get one...Except I don't care about Charlie.
Rachel: I don't really care about the Knicks.
Ross: I ... I was just talking about Rachel.
Chandler: What about the ones you have on the nightstand?
Phoebe: Hey Monica, what about your extra tickets?
Monica: (she hugs Chandler) Honey, you've been really strong about this, I know how badly you wanted that job.
Phoebe: Guys, the drawing is about to start!
Joey: (to Chandler) Hey, that is so great about the job.
Ross: Oh, don't worry about it! Just use your travel insurance.
Actress/Olivia: What do you know about love?
Joey/Drake: Oh, what about this one.
Joey/Drake: Tell me to stop, just...tell me to stop. (he's about to kiss her)
Rachel: Joey, I gotta tell ya, I've been thinking all day about that scene you did, I mean, you were amazing!
Joey/Drake: So what about us? Everything we feel for each other.
Chandler: Ok, how about this (picks up the remote control)?
Monica: Oh really, you want to talk about quality? Have you heard of a key? It's what some people sing in.
Phoebe: Well...it's not about quality.
Ross: Oh dude, don't worry about it, I found an unattended maid's car. We're way ahead of the game.
Monica: Excuse us! (then to Phoebe) Alright here's a question: Who was so worried about her restaurant being fancy that she made a big deal about her friend playing her music and feels really bad about it now? (raises her hand)
Joey: Well, I'm feeling really insecure about the one we are shooting tomorrow...
Joey: (approvingly) Oh! ok, yeah, I think I can do that. Yeah ok, there's this party scene coming up.. and Olivia and her husband are there and all Drake wants to do is grab her and kiss her, but he can't... And that makes me think about all those times when I wanted to grab you and kiss you, but you didn't know so I would just pretend everything was cool, but really, it was killing me.
Joey: (looks at her for a moment) What the hell are you talking about??
Rachel: (shakes her head) Alright, alright look, just uh... just try to remember how you felt when you were in love, and think about that when you're playing the scene.
Monica: Phoebe, it's not about quantity.
Rachel: Ooh... oooh... (pause) (Rachel is all bah-jiggity about Joey) oh, ah... (pause) (to Monica) Can I ask you a question?
Rachel: Yeah! You know, ever since I had that dream about him, and can't get it out of my head! And what's the big deal, people do it all the time!
Monica: What's so bad about that?
Chandler: Yes, but, Ross you chose a career of talking about dinosaurs.
Rachel: And he didn't want you guys to know about it but I came over here to tell you!!
Phoebe: We know about your party Joey.
Joeys Date: Sorry about that, but I couldnt get that lock to work on the door.
Monica: I guess you have forgotten all about Joey?
Rachel: Yeah, well, I guess I have forgotten about Joey and clearly you've forgotten about Chandler!
Monica: No! But because he thought I was to faaaaa . (Chandler emerges, without flushing by the way.) And every time I think about it, it makes me feel as bad as I did in fifth grade! Yknow, I-I really think that you should apologize to Julie.
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, Dirk was wondering about the woman that you brought and if you guys were together, or...
Chandler: Oh yeah, I had no idea the amazing journey you go through as a woman! Tell me, tell me about your first period!
Rachel: Please, what about you and Chandler?
Monica: What about all the guys that you've got the phone numbers from? Why don't you just kiss one of them?
Monica: Chandler, if you thought I was going to get you porn for Valentines Day (pulls a video out of a basket) you were right! Apparently, its about a young girl who moves to the big city, you know, in search of stardom, but ends up having sex with a lot of guys! Yeah, it got four starts! (looks closer) Oh, wait a minute. Those arent stars. Anyway, you want to take a look?
Monica: Hey, isnt weird to think about how next year at this time theyll be a little baby at the table? (Chandler turns around in horror.) (Seeing him) Rachels! But good to know where youre at!