words in movies
[Scene: Central Park, Ross is teaching Ben how to ride a bike. Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are they also.]
Phoebe: I never had a bike of my own.
Phoebe: Well, we didnt have a lot of money. But the girl across the street had the best bike! It was pink and it had rainbow colored tassels hanging off the handle grips, and-and-and a bell and this big, white wicker basket with those plastic daisies stuck on.
Phoebe: No! But she gave me the box that it came in. It had a picture of the bike on the front. (Theyre all speechless) So I would sit on it and my step-dad would drag me around the backyard.
Monica: Im gonna hang this basket (Points to the one sitting on the table) on the door and when the neighbors walk by they can all take a piece.
Joey: I do. Theres uh, lets see, Guy With a Mustache, Smokes-A-Lot Lady, Some Kids Ive Seen, and A Red-haired Guy Who Does Not Like To Be Called Rusty.
Chandler: Eh, somebodys in a good mood!
Rachel: Well, why shouldnt I be? I have great friends! I have a wonderful job!
Rachel: Come on, its not a big deal! We stayed up all night coming up with a plan so that us dating will not be a problem.
Rachel: (pauses as she thinks and exhales loudly) We We are not going to let it be a problem.
Rachel: Hi. Tag, I have a conference call today is that correct?
Rachel: Well, youve been here for two months now and your boss is required to hand in a performance evaluation. But yknow, there is one thing that I have yet to evaluate. (She turns around and sweeps the stuff off of her desk and hops up onto it.)
(She storms into his apartment to find him with a towel around his shoulders, a bowl on his head, and Phoebe with scissors in her hand.)
Joey: Uh well yeah, that was the plan, but by the time I got to it there was only a couple of pieces left!
Joey: Hey Mon, you might wanna make some more lasagna too, because something mightve happened to a huge chunk of it.
Ross: Mine stole my newspaper! Its like a crime wave!! (Monica runs to make more candy.) Pheebs, you uh, you got a second.
(He goes out into the hall and re-enters with a bike exactly like the one Phoebe described earlier.)
Phoebe: Not that way! But the bike brought you a lot closer!
Ross: Ah! (She hugs him.) Well uh-uh, t-take it downstairs, yknow give it a test ride.
Monica: (turning a light on) Who is that?!
Chandler: (laughs) 4:00 A.M.
Rachel: (worried) Okay please, youre kidding right?! I wrote that one as a joke for you!
Tag: A joke they would appreciate?
Rachel: Umm, I said I thought you were a good kisser, and uh, and that I like your tiney-tiny touchie.
Rachel: Well, it gets worse. When asked if you take initiative I wrote, "Yes, he was able to unhook my bra with minimal supervision," and under Problems with Performance I wrote, "Dear God, I hope not," and then uh, then I drew a little smiley face, and then a small pornographic sketch.
Ross: Wait a minute, she was walking the bike? Both times?
Ross: Pheebs you uh you do know how to ride a bike dont you?
Phoebe: Okay. (The gang is giggles then Phoebe gets the bike out of the rack, gets on, pushes off, rolls a few feet, and falls over.) See?
Joey: That sketch you mentioned? Might it have looked a little something like this? (He shows her what hes been drawing.)
(There is a knock on the door and Monica answers it. There is a woman standing there.)
Chandler: Is that why you became a chef? So that people would like you?
Phoebe: (hopping off the bike) Wait! This seat is really uncomfortable! Yeah, maybe before we start we should just get another one. Perhaps, like an airplane seator a beanbag chair!
Ross: Phoebe, you cant get out of this! Okay? You have to learn how to ride a bike!
Ross: Well let therewhat if a man comes along and puts a gun to your head and says, "You ride this bike or Ill sh Ill shoot you."
Phoebe: Okay, I would ring the bell to distract him and then I would knock the gun out of his hand with a Chinese throwing star.
Ross: Its a legitimate learning technique. (Looking around and seeing the woman behind him glaring at him.) Wow!
Ross: By the way, the week before your wedding you may not see a lot of me. (She glares at him and he quickly makes his way to Phoebes room.)
Phoebe: Well, I would love to but the bike got stolen and the police have no suspects. (Ross just happens to have his hand on a sheet that is covering something that suspiciously looks like a bike.)
Mr. Zelner: Hello Rachel, you uh, got a minute?
Mr. Zelner: Well, Id be forced to file a report. Id have to consult with the legal department, and your future at the company would be in jeopardy.
Mr. Zelner: You wrote that you have a cute touchie?
Tag: (pause) Yes. I have a weird sense of humor, and Im kinda strangely proud of my butt.
Mr. Zelner: Its kind of a risky joke Tag, and what is-what is this drawing I cant figure out what this is?
Mr. Zelner: Yeah, its not like I dont have a sense of humor, huh? Hell, I even enjoy a naughty limerick now and then. But theres a time and a place, huh?! Unless you uh, have a limerick right now? (They both nod no.) No? Okay, well uh, youve (Grabs the chocolates.) got my fax number. (Exits.)
Tag: Are you kidding me?! With a cute butt like this, Id find work.
Chandler: (asking a man leaning against the wall) What is going on?
Chandler: Get in here! (They head for the door and Chandler sees Smokes-A-Lot Lady standing next to the door and smoking, to her) Hey, and you can not smoke in here! (Takes the cigarette and takes a drag for himself.) (Exhaling in ecstasy) Merry Christmas.
Chandler: All right everybody! Just be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet!! Pipe-pipe-pipe down! (They settle down) What is the matter with you people?! This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you. She was making candy so she could try to get to know all of you, and Ill bet that not one of you can tell me her name! Am I right?
Monica: Im fine now, but it was really scary there for a while. I mean, someone slipped a-a threatening note under the door.
Phoebe: I cant believe it! I did it! I rode a bike! I never thought Id be able to do that! Thank you Ross.
Chandler: No, I have a great idea for a present for her.
Phoebe: Oh, thats it? (Mimics Chandler) A great idea!
Phoebe: Ooh ooh, we have a live one!
(They move towards a platform, dancing really strangely as they go)
Janine: Hey! Youre a good dancer!
Chandler: Those are book ends! That's a great gift!
Joey: No-no hey buddy, please let me dance with that girl, I really like her and I think I have a shot.
Chandler: (In a parent-like tone) Ill talk to them!
Ross: Hey, I know whatll get us up on a platform!
Ross: Hey Pheebs, what 'cha reading? (Phoebe ignores him) Pheebs? (Turns away) Hello? (He sits down next to her and she moves over a bit.) Phoebe? (He moves closer and she keeps moving away.) Phoe-Phoebe! (They end up hanging over the arm rest.) Come on! (He grabs the magazine away from her.)
(They move into a space, and Ross points to his eyes and then to hers)
Joey: Uh, take a look at the guys pants! I mean, I know you told us to show excitement, but dont you think he went a little overboard?
[Cut to Ross and Monica, who are finally on a platform!]
Phoebe: Yknow, birds have a very good sense of direction, and I thought maybe they could help us find where the presents are hidden.
Director: Okay, heres where we go to the live shot of Times Square, nice work everyone thats a wrap!
Monica: Yes! (They run over to a platform)
Chandler: I dont wanna know what Monica got me. Yknow? I mean, look, Im sure she worked really hard at getting you a present, and wanting to surprise me, and you guys are gonna ruin that, and I, look we have to put these back, this is not what Christmas is about.
Joey: Uh, yeah, okay. Except I sorta felt like I needed a couple of seconds to get ready.
Ross: I dont know, I mean you were a lot bigger, I mean, stronger back then.
Joey: Listen, do you guys think I have a chance with Janine?
Monica: Yeah. But of course we had to update it a little bit. (To Ross) Hey, by the way, great thinking about catching me!
Ross: Hmm? Oh, yeah. (he makes a growling sound)
Chandler: Okay, let me just jump in and ask, at what point did you think this was a successful marriage?
Monica: Its gotta be one of a kind. Yknow like umm, yknow uh, whats that God awful ceramic fruit bowl she has on her counter?
Monica: Yeah, she hates all mass produced stuff. She thinks her furniture should have a history, a story behind it.
Phoebe: Maybe, maybe I'll dance for you. (She starts doing a rather suggestive and seductive dance that's silly at the same time.)
Monica: (into phone) Pants and a sweater? Why, mom? Who am I gonna meet in a blackout? Power company guys? Eligible looters? Could we talk about this later? OK. (hangs up)
Joey: I hate Pottery Barn too. They kicked me out of there just because I sat on a bed!
Janine: I had so much fun tonight, and what a great restaurant.
Chandler: Look at us, were a couple of couples!
Ross: Hey, when the music starts up again, I was thinking of maybe goind into the robot, yknow? (He mimics a robot)
Monica: I am so glad you guys got together, Chandler and I are always looking for a couple to go out with and now we have one!
[Scene: The Hallway between the apartments, Joey, Janine, Chandler, and Monica are returning from a double date. Chandler is telling a joke.]
Rachel: So, you had a good day huh? Big commission; picked up a daddy.
Joey: (outraged) A MONTH??
Janine: I cant handle two nights in a row with them.
Joey: Just casually slip it in, yknow lay the groundwork. Tell her uh, Im a lonerNo! An outlaw! Tell her she doesnt want to get mixed up with the likes of me.
Janine: No! Of course we can still hang out with them. Just yknow, not two nights in a row. Okay?
Joey: Uh, theyre like my best friends. Are you saying we cant hang out with them? Cause that would kinda be a problem.
Phoebe: Umm, a flea market?
Rachel: Yeah no, I mean it was at a flea market, so it was yknow, it was like a dollar.
Phoebe: 500 bucks at a flea market?!
Phoebe: Yes, yes I do. God, oh its just perfect! Wow! I bet it has a great story behind it too. Did they tell you anything? Like yknow where it was from or
Chandler: Oh, its not important? Its not important?! If it wasnt for a brides maid youd be marrying him (Points to Joey) not me!
Rachel: Ross, shes not weird, she just wants her stuff to be one of a kind.
Ross: Yeah but Pottery Barn! Yknow what I think? Its just she-shes weird. Yknow its because shes a twin. Twins are weird.
Joey: And it is a love that is based on having and giving and receiv(Shuts up on Monicas glare.)
Chandler: Then why-why is she going to a play?!
Rachel: Oh, wow! Congratulations, that's quite a waste of time.
Janine: (entering from her room) Monica! Chandler! Im really-really sorry about tonight. I dont know if Joey told you; I just couldnt get out of going to this play. Im sorry. Have a great time.
Chandler: So she was just pretending to have a good time last night? She was lying to our faces?!
Joey: Yeah, shes been in there all day (Points to her room), uh high fever, a nose problem Phlegm! Phlegm! Phlegm-phlegm-phlegm!
Chandler: And I am not blah, I am a hoot!
Joey: Well uh, she didnt want to hang out with you guys two nights in a row. Im so sorry.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are watching a movie.]
Joey: Look, come on you guys, you said you were gonna try! All right look, I came over here to invite you guys to a movie with me and Janine.
Ross: Wow! I didnt know that there was a Pottery Barn up here.
Rachel: I know, I know. I went a little crazy.
Woman No. 1: No. No, haven't seen a monkey. Do you know anything about fixing radiators?
Ross: Hmm, a lot of this stuff is from Colonial times. Hey, what are some other time periods Rachel? (She glares at him.)
Phoebe: (gasps) Another amazing find! Wow! Oh I bet this has a great story too!
Janine: Well yknow, hes blah, shes justshes very loud for such a small person.
Rachel: Oh it does, it does! It is a room separating apparatus from Colonial times.
Frank: YESSSSS!!!!! We got a baby boy!!
(They walk by a Pottery Barn window display.)
Phoebe: Yeah no, Im telling you Rachel has such a great eye for this stuff. Ross, yknow if you ever decide you need to redecorateAnd I think that you should. You should, you should ask Rachel to help.
Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him that it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
Janine: Well I did. I really did. And you guys, Ive got to say, Im sorry if I was a little weird after the last time we went out. I guess I was just nervous or something.
Phoebe: Okay then I dont have a choice! I have to buy that lamp!
Joey: All right, uh, weve got a little bit of a problem here. These people are my friends; you cant treat them that way.
Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, (points to Ross) married a lesbian, (points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (points to Joey) threw a girls wooden leg in a fire, (points to Chandler) livin in a box!! (goes to her room)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel and Monica are there. Ross walks in with a magazine in his hand.]
[Scene: Las Vegas, we have the typical glamour shots of Vegas, the Strip, slot machines, a couple other gaming tables all set to the tune of you guessed it, Money. Anyhoo, we finally get through that and watch Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe enter Caesar's Palace carrying their luggage.]
Rachel: I-I dont want your job. I-I dont. Ohh this is such a mistake. I did not make out with him. Nobody made out with him. I did not use my keycard yesterday. I dont even know how to use my keycard. (The elevator stops. Ralph steps on.)
Chandler: Dude, you have got to turn on Behind the Music. The band Heart is having a really tough time, and I think they may break up.
Joey: No, Chandler. Look, forget about it, okay? Look, I know things have been a little tight since Janine moved out. Oh, was she hot.
Rachel: Ohh, wait a minute, we havent pre
Mr. Treeger:: Im sure as hell a dancer, its no use Marge will never go for me.
Chandler: So explain something to me here, uh, what kind of a relationship do you imagine us having if you already have a husband and a boyfriend?
Rachel: We are looking at a Playboy.
Monica: So do you think that these picturesAre, are they trying to tell a story?
Monica: Okay, Ive got a question. If you had to pick one of us to date, who would it be?
Ross: What, you didnt get it? The doctor is a monkey.
Ross: Well, I was going to stick it in the ATM, but now I think Ill show the sexy teller that I am a published writer.
Joey: Uh, I dont know. Ya see, its just, see I was a regular on a soap opera yknow? And to go from that to this, I just Plus, Id have to wait on all my friends.
Joey: Maybe I could be a waiter. Could I use the phone?
Monica: Do you know whats a bad idea?
Monica: Thats a good idea.
(They go out to investigate, and find Joey wrapped in a blanket watching their television.)
Monica: Thats right. (A noise comes from the living room.) Did you hear something?
Monica: (laughing) Oh, dont you guys look cute. You guys make such a cute couple.
Phoebe: Fine. The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just that youre just kinda high maintenanceOkay lets go to lunch!
Phoebe: Oh, okay, (laughing) youre not a pushover.
Monica: That is completely untrue. You think Im high maintenance? Okay, prove it. I want you to make a list and were going to go through it point by point!
Rachel: What? Wait a minute. What are you saying, that Im a pushover? Im not a pushover.
Joey: (to a table of strangers) You guys need anything, cause Im heading up there.
Joey: Nah, its okay. Right, Gunther? (Winks at him as if theyre in on a secret together.)
Chandler: A pharmacist. (Rachel mocks him.)
Ross: Uh, yeah, Ill take a coffee. Thanks, man.
Chandler: So is your apron. Youre wearing it like a cape.