words in movies
Chandler: (entering in a bathrobe) I just walked in the bathroom and saw Kathy naked! It was like torture!
Ross: Y'know if we ever go to war and youre captured, youre in for a big surprise.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is getting a phone number from a woman (Casey) as Chandler watches from the doorway.]
Chandler: Goin out, huh? Wow! Wow! (Does a little celebration dance) So things didnt work out with Kathy, huh? Bummer.
Joey: No, things are fine with Kathy. Im having a late dinner with her tonight, right after my early dinner with Casey.
Joey: Yeah-yeah. And the craziest thing is that I just ate a whole pizza by myself! (Laughs)
Chandler: All right look, I think its time for you to settle down. Y'know? Make a choice, pick a lane.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are sitting on the couch playing cards, and Phoebe is working on a new song.]
Phoebe: (singing) "Little, tiny Tarzan, swinging on a nose hair. Swinging with the greatest of ease " Darn it! Now, I dont know who to get to the next verse.
Ross: Yeah, just a little in high school, but then I really got into it in college. I mean thats-thats when I really found my sound.
(Monica is taking a drink as Ross says that, laughs, and snorts her drink.)
(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash. Basically, the music sucks.)
Monica: (At a loss for words) Boy, that was-that was, umm terrific.
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Chandler: No-no, hes not back yet, but hell be here any minute. So uh, come on in. Have a seat. Bow or stern?
Kathy: I uh, dont really have a preference. You?
Joey: (on the other end at a pay phone) Hey, its me. Listen Casey and I were on our way back and had a little car trouble.
Joey: Me too, but I guess I do have a couple of more(his time runs out for real)
Chandler: (to Kathy) Uhh, that was Joey. Hes running a little late, he says hes sorry.
Joey: Listen uh, Im really sorry, it looks like Im gonna be stuck here for a while. I got the transmission fluid, but when I went to put it in the car, the transmission wasnt there!
Joey: Yeah, it mustve fallen out a few blocks back. I just figured we hit a dog.
Kathy: Chandler, I like Joey a lot, but with you
Ross: (His voice is altered to sound like a computer.) Electrifying. (He plays the sound of a ticking clock.) Emphatic time-time-time
Monica: (to Rachel and Phoebe) Y'know, theres a Starbucks about three blocks down.
Chandler: Hang on buddy! (He goes over and unlocks the door and opens it to reveal a fully furnished apartment.)
Chandler: Oh no-no-no. This is amazing. (He goes over and presses a button on a remote control that opens the entertainment center doors revealing the TV.)
Joey: (very excited) A TV as if it appears from nowhere! Thats the dream! Man, how did you afford this stuff?
Chandler: Well, yknow Im 29. I mean who needs a savings account.
Joey: Yknow what I think? I think somebodys got a little crush on Casey. How bout I fix you two up? What do you think?
Monica: You obviously havent screwed over a lot of your friends. (They all look at her) Which we all appreciate.
Phoebe: Yeah! No, thats right. And I thought it was a really good idea.
Ross: Hey, would it be okay if I wrote a song about this.
Chandler: Is that a real thing?
Chandler: Its-its about Kathy. Umm, uh, I like her. I like her a lot actually.
Joey: Over the line?! You-youre-youre so far past the line, that you-you cant even see the line! The line is a dot to you!
Joey: Is that why you bought all this stuff?! (Chandler makes a face like "Well, kinda.") Well, yknow what I will not watch your TV, I will not listen to your stereo, and theres a cinnamon raisin loaf in the new bread maker that Im not gonna eat! You know why?!
Ross: Beef in a dessert?! I- no no no, there is no way!
Joey: (turning to Chandler in a scolding tone) Chandler!
Eric: Oh umm, Im the solar system. (Hes wearing a black sweater with the planets glued on around the sun.) Yeah, my students helped me make itI teach the second grade.
Ross: Yeah, itll be like a funny Thanksgiving story!
Phoebe: Well look, you dont really like the one from uptown and youre too exhausted from dating the one up in Poughkeepsie, so I say you just end them both. Okay? You take a train up to Poughkeepsie and break up with her, and on your way back you break up with uptown. And then by the time you get home tonight, youre done!
Ross: Oh My God, she-she made half a English Trifle, and half a...Sheperds Pie!
Rachel: Joey, God, your apartment is like a hundred degrees!
Ross: (worried) Dude, I need to talk to you a sec.
Richard: (approaching them with a woman in tow) Monica! Chandler!
Mrs. Geller: (whispers to Jack a little loudly) I think hes stoned again.
Joey: Wow! Cool! (He takes the guitar, stands up, and goes to play a note. However, while strumming it, he knocks it out of his hands and it bounces off the table and lands on the floor. Phoebe just stares at the guitar.)
Monica: You! Its not like its a big deal! You-you dont still do it or anything!
[Monica gives Phoebe a surprised expression and goes over to Ross and Chandler.]
Ross: Oh, uh, can it wait a second Joey? I have to tell my parents something. No it cant? Okay.
Joey: Ross! Can I talk to you for a second?
[Ross makes a sorry face.]
[The hallway. Rachel and Ross go out and they just stand there for a few seconds.]
Ross: Hey Rach, can I talk to you outside for a second?
Rachel: I just- I dont think us getting back together is a good idea.
Phoebe: So, now, Rach, this is a traditional English trifle, isnt it?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are there, Joey is demonstrating a card trick.]
Ross: (just trying to get out of the conversation) Ah well, cant blame a guy for trying!
Ross: (gets up) All right. Y'know what? We dont have to go downstairs! We can bring Vegas up to us! (He grabs a deck of cards and pulls up a chair.) All right, come on, come on, we'll play some blackjack. Here we go. (Deals the cards.) 13.
[Phoebe gets up and goes into Rachels old room, a smile on her face.]
Rachel: Oh oh oh, wait! You only got whipped cream in there! Ya gotta take a bite with all the layers!
Joey: Oh and (Ross begins to open the door and Joey says some gibberish word to indicate to Ross that hes not done yet. Ross closes the door again.) Okay, and uh if anyone needs help pretending to like it, I learned something in acting class, try uh, rubbing your stomach (Rubs his stomach) or uh, or saying mmm and uh, oh oh! And smiling (Smiles while pretending to stir a bowl), okay?
[Everyone takes a bite of their trifle.]
[Monica puts the pea on top of the spoonful and takes a bite.]
Ross: Wha? No no! Ah! (Ross scarfs all of his trifle down in about a second. He looks like hes going to throw up.) (Lying) All gone! So good! Maybe Chandler has some left.
Monica: Yes! All right, y'know what? Why don't we start with a practice run? Okay?
[Chandler makes a fake "I know I couldnt believe it either" gesture.]
Phoebe: I dunno, lets see! So, okay, I dreamt that we were gonna get married, and he left, becuz he had to go fight a fire. And, um, so okay, I went to a night club, and I saw him making out with a girl.
Rachel: ...So a bird just grabbed it, and then tried to fly away with it and, and then just dropped it on the street?
Ross: Oh yeah, about telling Mom and Dad, I was thinking about maybe writing a letter.
Joey: I wish. No. After dinner, me, her, and Pepper all fell asleep in front of the fire. Well I woke up in the middle of the night and I saw that the fire was dying out. So, I picked up a log and threw it on. Or, at least what I thought was a log.
[Monica and Chandler both are shocked. Ross gives Monica a take that! look.]
Monica: Ross hasnt worked at the museum for a year!
Mrs. Geller: Chandler! Youve been Rosss best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now youve taken on Monica as well. Well, I dont know what to say. Youre a wonderful human being.
(Her side of the tree looks a complete mess)
Rachel: Thats a good story, Grandpa.
Monica: Having a perfectly decorated tree is not what Christmas is about. Its about being with the people that you love.
[We see a shot of Jack stuffing his face with food. Some dream hunk!]
Chandler: You are aware that shes not a monkey, right?
(They start shaking the chair likes its flying into outer space. Ross picks up a soccer ball and starts spinning it in his hand and runs around the chair beeping like a satellite. Chandler also starts running around the chair and saying...)
Chandler: Ah, youre still just a little fat girl inside arent you? (He kisses her on the cheek)
Ross: Youre gonna be a party person! Those guys rock the most!
(Gunther brings Janine a coffee)
Ross: Oh, well you see how it works is, the part with Dick Clark in Times Square is actually live, but they tape some of the party stuff ahead of time. Yeah, not a lot of people know that.
Ross: It was a dry day.
Joey: Did she just ask me out on a date?
Rachel: Yeah, but she also invited you and Ross. Yeah, honey, Im sorry, but I dont think that was a romantic thing.
Rachel: Well, thats a lot better than Ross trying to kiss me in High School, and saying that he did it because he needed chapstick.
Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. Were going to a New Years Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Yknow? But if she says Dude, what the hell are you doing? I can say It wasnt me, it was New Years!
Monica: Look. I'm sure there's some friendly way to reconcile this! Um, have a seat. First of all, we haven't been introduced, I'm Monica Geller.
Joey: OK, listen Ive been on sets before, so let me give you a little advice, alright? Its a show, but were just dancing, OK? Its no big deal. The important thing to remember stay cool.
Phoebe: Yeah, Chandler why dont you take a walk? This doesnt concern you.
Chandler: No, I have a great idea for a present for her.
Phoebe: Oh, thats it? (Mimics Chandler) A great idea!
Phoebe: Ooh ooh, we have a live one!
(They move towards a platform, dancing really strangely as they go)
Janine: Hey! Youre a good dancer!
Chandler: Those are book ends! That's a great gift!
Joey: No-no hey buddy, please let me dance with that girl, I really like her and I think I have a shot.
Chandler: (In a parent-like tone) Ill talk to them!
Ross: Hey, I know whatll get us up on a platform!
Ross: Hey Pheebs, what 'cha reading? (Phoebe ignores him) Pheebs? (Turns away) Hello? (He sits down next to her and she moves over a bit.) Phoebe? (He moves closer and she keeps moving away.) Phoe-Phoebe! (They end up hanging over the arm rest.) Come on! (He grabs the magazine away from her.)
(They move into a space, and Ross points to his eyes and then to hers)
Joey: Uh, take a look at the guys pants! I mean, I know you told us to show excitement, but dont you think he went a little overboard?
[Cut to Ross and Monica, who are finally on a platform!]
Phoebe: Yknow, birds have a very good sense of direction, and I thought maybe they could help us find where the presents are hidden.
Director: Okay, heres where we go to the live shot of Times Square, nice work everyone thats a wrap!
Monica: Yes! (They run over to a platform)
Chandler: I dont wanna know what Monica got me. Yknow? I mean, look, Im sure she worked really hard at getting you a present, and wanting to surprise me, and you guys are gonna ruin that, and I, look we have to put these back, this is not what Christmas is about.
Joey: Uh, yeah, okay. Except I sorta felt like I needed a couple of seconds to get ready.
Ross: I dont know, I mean you were a lot bigger, I mean, stronger back then.
Joey: Listen, do you guys think I have a chance with Janine?
Monica: Yeah. But of course we had to update it a little bit. (To Ross) Hey, by the way, great thinking about catching me!
Ross: Hmm? Oh, yeah. (he makes a growling sound)
Chandler: Okay, let me just jump in and ask, at what point did you think this was a successful marriage?
Monica: Its gotta be one of a kind. Yknow like umm, yknow uh, whats that God awful ceramic fruit bowl she has on her counter?
Monica: Yeah, she hates all mass produced stuff. She thinks her furniture should have a history, a story behind it.
Phoebe: Maybe, maybe I'll dance for you. (She starts doing a rather suggestive and seductive dance that's silly at the same time.)
Monica: (into phone) Pants and a sweater? Why, mom? Who am I gonna meet in a blackout? Power company guys? Eligible looters? Could we talk about this later? OK. (hangs up)
Joey: I hate Pottery Barn too. They kicked me out of there just because I sat on a bed!
Janine: I had so much fun tonight, and what a great restaurant.
Chandler: Look at us, were a couple of couples!
Ross: Hey, when the music starts up again, I was thinking of maybe goind into the robot, yknow? (He mimics a robot)
Monica: I am so glad you guys got together, Chandler and I are always looking for a couple to go out with and now we have one!
[Scene: The Hallway between the apartments, Joey, Janine, Chandler, and Monica are returning from a double date. Chandler is telling a joke.]
Rachel: So, you had a good day huh? Big commission; picked up a daddy.
Joey: (outraged) A MONTH??
Janine: I cant handle two nights in a row with them.
Joey: Just casually slip it in, yknow lay the groundwork. Tell her uh, Im a lonerNo! An outlaw! Tell her she doesnt want to get mixed up with the likes of me.
Janine: No! Of course we can still hang out with them. Just yknow, not two nights in a row. Okay?
Joey: Uh, theyre like my best friends. Are you saying we cant hang out with them? Cause that would kinda be a problem.
Phoebe: Umm, a flea market?
Rachel: Yeah no, I mean it was at a flea market, so it was yknow, it was like a dollar.
Phoebe: 500 bucks at a flea market?!
Phoebe: Yes, yes I do. God, oh its just perfect! Wow! I bet it has a great story behind it too. Did they tell you anything? Like yknow where it was from or
Chandler: Oh, its not important? Its not important?! If it wasnt for a brides maid youd be marrying him (Points to Joey) not me!