words in movies
Chandler: Hey-hey-hey. So what happened? A forest tick you off?
Joey: No. Y'know how were always saying we need a place for the mail.
Chandler: Youre building a post office?
Joey: No, an entertainment unit, with a mail cubby built right in. Its a one day job, max.
Phoebe: No, I know, Im just nervous. Y'know its just y'know Moms dead, dont talk to my sister, Grandmas been sleeping a lot lately. Its like the last desperate chance to have a family, y'know, kinda thing. Youre so sweet to wait with me.
Rachel: Well, actually Gunther sent me. Youre not allowed to have cups out here, its a thing. (takes her cup and goes back inside)
Monica: No, but he told me, he thinks your a fox.
Chandler: Well, we have a deal, where we each get to pick five celebrities that we can sleep with, and the other one cant get mad.
Rachel: Now, you do realize that shes a cartoon, and way out of your league?
Monica: First, I need a boyfriend, then I can have a list.
Joey: Its just a game Mon. (makes a Can-you-believe-her face to the rest of the gang.) Rach, how about you?
Chandler: (coughing) What a geek!
Rachel: Well, so, now, do you guys have a lot of big plans?
Frank: Yeah, I was thinking that maybe we could go down to Time Square and pick up some ninja stars. And, oh, um, my friend Larry, he wants me to take a picture of a hooker.
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, Joey is drilling a hole in the wall and the drill comes out the other side really close to Chandlers head. Chandler then rushes out to talk to Joey.]
Joey: Well, you shouldve told me that before, Im not a mind reader. Hey, were out of beer. Im going to Monicas.
Monica: Thats a little more than I wanted to see.
Joey: (manages to pry off only a small piece) Aw! Look at that, every inch of this stuff is glued down. Itd take forever to pry this up. You should ah, you should just leave it. (starts to walk away, but Monica grabs him)
Monica: I cant leave it! You gouged a hole in my dingy floor.
Frank: I know a guy whos the 18th.
Rachel: Oh my God! You are giving this a lot of thought.
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank is melting a plastic spoon.]
Phoebe: Oh, well um, not right now. Y'know Im just gonna go to bed, I think the fumes are giving me a headache.
Phoebe: Here. (gives him a fire extinguisher) Y'know, just in case.
Phoebe: So far, it kinda blows. I dont know, I just thought y'know that hed feel more like a brother y'know, like you and Ross, just like close and connected and....
Chandler: Oh, just this! (turns around and has a paint lid stuck to the back of his pants.) Yknow what its my fault really, because the couch is usually where we keep the varnish.
Phoebe: Oh! Im a masseuse. I give people massages and stuff.
Phoebe: All righty. Ill be back in-in a little bit. Unless you wanna come with me?
Chandler: What, like a number?
Ross: Okay, Im done with my choices, these are final. (holds up a little card)
Girl: Whatd you think I was, a hooker?
Frank: No, your a masseuse, its cool, Im not a cop.
Frank: You hopped a little bit. Yeah, I really sorry.
Frank: Oh come on we went, we went to Time Square, we found ninja stars, I almost got arm broken by a hooker...
Phoebe: She wasnt a hooker.
Joey: Look its not that bad. So what, it blocks a little of your door, a little of my door.
Chandler: Yeah, y'know what I got a better idea. How-how bout it blocks none of mine door and a lot of yours? (throws his shoulder into the center to try and move it, but it doesnt move.)
Rachel: Okay sir, um-mm, let see if I got this right. Ah, so this is a half-caf, double tall, easy hazel nut, non-fat, no foam, with whip, extra hot latte, right? (the guy nods) Okay, great. (she starts to walk away and under her breath) You freak.
Ross: (to Isabella) Hi! Hi, Im Ross, you dont know me, but Im a big, big fan of yours. I mean, Blue Velvet, woo-oo hoo! Um, I was wondering if I could um, maybe buy you a cup of coffee? (Gunther hands her change) Or maybe reimburse you for that one?
Ross: Oh no, no, no, wait, wait, Isabella. Dont, dont just dismiss this so fast. I mean this is a once in a lifetime opportunity...
Isabella: ...because I have a list of five goofy coffee house guys and yesterday I bumped you for that guy over there. (points at a guy and leaves)
Joey: I bet ya ya I could fit in there. (points to a hole in the center)
Chandler: Yeah, you got me. (picks up a 2x4 and puts it through the handles so that the doors wont open) Im out five big ones! (puts the money in the crack between the door and frame) Here you go.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler peeks in the door. He doesn't see Eddie so he enters, breathing a sigh of relief. Eddie pops up from behind the bar.]
CHANDLER: Look you have to help me out here. I thought we had a deal. I thought by the time...
MR A: Oh, no, please, I spent most of mid-morning trying to stand up. Now uh, what can I do for you, my dear?
EDDIE: That's a tomato. This one definitely goes in the display.
EDDIE: Ah, just some basic dehydrating of a few fruits and vegetables. MAN ALIVE this thing's fantastic!
Richard: on the rocks with a twist? I remember. (Goes to make her drink.)
JOEY: Hey Gunther, let me get a lemonade to go.
CHANDLER: [looks in the fish bowl to see a fish cracker] Well that's not an, even a real fish. No, that's a goldfish cracker.
Ross: (forages around) Okay, I have nothing in an evening shoe in the burgundy. I can show you something in a silver that may work.
PHOEBE: I don't think it would have sold a million copies but it would have made a nice gift for you.
[Monica goes into her room and slams the door. Rachel does the same. Phoebe, without a door to slam, opens a small chest and slams the lid.]
JOEY: No no, uh, don't thank me for comin' in. Uh, at least let me finish. Uh, we could take the expressway but uh, this time of day you're better off taking the budge. You were goin' for the word bridge there weren't ya. I'll have a good day. [gets up and leaves]
JOEY: [movers removing a glass parrot] Oh, not my parrot.
ROSS: Dollars? You spent $1200 dollars on a plastic bird?
MRS. GELLER: We just know she's got the IQ of a napkin.
CHANDLER: Yes, yes I actually saw him leave. I mean that guy is standing in the window holding a human head. He is STANDING IN THE WINDOW HOLDING A HUMAN HEAD!
EDDIE: Yeah, you know, put chips in it, we'll make like a chip chick.
EDDIE: We took a road trip to Las Vegas man.
Monica: Yeah, I think we're ready for our first course. (Steve sits, Monica brings over a tray) OK, um, these are rot-shrimp ravioli, and celantro pondou sauce... (Steve starts to eat them one by one, quickly)... with just a touch of mints... and... (he finishes)... ginger.
JOEY: Well, I had a whole ceramic zoo thing goin' over there but now, without the other ones, it just looks tacky.
CHANDLER: Ah that's a cantelope.
CHANDLER: I'm gonna hold him a different way. Look I don't understand, if you hated it so much, why did you buy it in the first place?
RICHARD: Uh, you guys see me as a dad?
JOEY: He paid a lot of money for it.
PHOEBE: Why are you guys so upset? It's Old Yeller, it's a happy movie.
PHOEBE: C'mon, happy family gets a dog, frontier fun.
JOEY: Not a dad.
CHANDLER: You're not a dad. You're not a dad.
RICHARD: That's fine. Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening and I guess I'll just see you kids around.
RICHARD: Yeah, just, I feel like I'm about a hundred. I thought I was just one of the guys.
MONICA: Come here. I'll make you feel like one of the guys. You know for a really cool guy, you suck at foosball.
SUSAN: Ok, this could go on for a while.
CAROL: We've got a cab waiting downstairs.
Rachel: Whoa!! Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. What time did your little friend leave? (Ross cant answer that) Oh my God. She was there? She was still there? She was in there, when I was in there?!
PHOEBE: [pauses the tape] Ok, Ben, this is the part where Ernie buries Bert in the sand and can't find him. Now, I've looked ahead on the tape and he does find him again. But, ok, before that happens, there's some pretty rough goin' for a while but I think we can handle it. And, there's just the alphabet but we know that ends well so. Ok, here we go. [starts the tape again]
ERNIE: Bert, Bert. Bert. Hey, what happened to my friend Bert? He was here just a moment ago. Oh no, my old friend Bert is lost.
MONICA: 'Cause I was going by it the other day and I saw that there was a stock with my initials, MEG, on it and, well, sometimes I have to watch for two or three hours before it comes up again but when it does, it's pretty exciting.
RACHEL: Ok honey, you really need a job.
PHOEBE: No, 'cause you just said dad and everywhere I go today I keep getting signs telling me to go see my father. Like when I was walking over here and I passed a buffet...which is my father's last name.
(Ursula points out a vacant table, so the twins walk over, side by side, to sit down. Departing customers walk right past the pair. Sitting at the back, a hungry gentleman looks most annoyed as Ursula sets his meal down in front of her. The girls sit.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, everyone's there; Phoebe recites the last verse of a poem to Joey. This poem is known as "The Night Before Christmas" by Clement Clarke Moore, but it seems that it's rather "Account of a visit from St. Nicholas" by Henry Livingston.]
ROSS: Because it's a special hat. [Chandler looks at Ross funny] See he bought it 'cause he was feeling really down one day so he got the hat to cheer himself up, ya know. Now Chandler...
BIG BULLY: You got a problem with that?
MONICA: I don't want a beer.
JOEY: Monica, relax, go get a beer.
CHANDLER: Ohhh [turns as if to hug someone] Oh no, wait a minute, I have no one.
Monica: I mean, why should I let them meet him? I mean, I bring a guy home, and within five minutes they're all over him. I mean, they're like- coyotes, picking off the weak members of the herd.
RACHEL: I just can't believe this is happening. I mean, when I was little, everybody's parents were getting divorced. I just figured as a grownup I wouldn't have to worry about this.
JOEY: See, didn't I tell ya these pillows would be a good idea?
Another Scientist: And I need to flip the light switch on and off 17 times before I leave a room or my family will die.
JOEY: Get him a bone, get a bone. You gotta bone?
PHOEBE: Yeah, but he did have to have a bunch of stitches and he said that only once in a blue moon does a dog's ear grow back so...still hoping.
RACHEL: She'll be a much better friend when the market closes.
Photographer: Now why dont we get a shot of just Monica and the bloody soldier.
JOEY: [dials the phone] It's a woman.
[She starts the cab and pulls forward. We hear a squish and a dog yelp.]
Monica: Yknow what? I am really tired of your bellyaching! Okay, I-I worked really hard at making this a nice place for us to live!
CHANDLER: Alright, hang on a second there Custer.
MONICA: [Opens the door] I need to borrow a hundred bucks.
MONICA: Hi, welcome home. [pulls Rachel inside] I need to borrow a hundred bucks.
[Scene: Phoebe's dad's house. Phoebe is returning the dog who is bandaged up and has a plastic cone around it's neck.]
Chandler: Yeah, in fact my father was a den-mother.
PHOEBE: It was an accident, and, and the woman who did this would never ever hurt a dog on purpose. She's a vegetarian.
PHOEBE: Just from a, from a long time ago. Is he here?
FRANK: Yeah. What? [a young guy comes around the corner]
FRANK: Cool, alright. So maybe, ya know, I could give you a call sometime, we could talk or somethin'.
Rachel: We were on a break!
PHOEBE: I'm not gonna. But you know what's cool though? Ok, if you had a friend named Pete, then I could say, 'Oh yeah, I know Pete, he's friends with my brother.'
ROSS: Well we did it, we're here. We are standing our ground. How long does a cup of coffee take?
[They rush to put the cream and sugar in their cups and gulp down a few drinks]
ROSS: Woah, ho-ho, whad'ya got there, a weapon?
CHANDLER: Question. If I don't care about my watch, can I use it as a weapon?
LITTLE BULLY: Look, here's what we'll do. We'll put all keys and watches in the hat over there. Alright. [they all put their keys and watches in the hat and put it on a mail box] Alright, c'mon man, let's do this.
Gunther: (In his head) Say Rachel, I was wondering if youd like to go to a movie with me sometime. As my lover! Nnnsch, to out there. Maybe youd just like to ah, get something to eat with me sometime? As my lover.
LITTLE BULLY: Actually, you know, uh, I gotta show this apartment tomorrow and uh, you know, this no faces thing might not be a bad idea.
ROSS: Well because I have to work on Monday, I have a big presentation.
LITTLE BULLY: Us, what about you guys? Man you really, bing, gave it to old Mr. Clean back there. He was a big guy.
(Joey turns around and sees his face on a poster in the subway. The poster says: What Mario isn't telling you...V.D., you never know who might have it. A variety of scenes are shown with the poster displayed all over New York City.)
[Scene: A hall on the floor where Chandler works. Chandler and Phoebe enters, and overhears some employees's conversation. One of them is doing Chandler.]
CHANDLER: Ya know, my cousin went to hell on a football scholarship.
[Scene: The 50's theme cafe. Monica is working the grill, the rest are at a table.]
RACHEL: My parents happened. All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly, and not talk about the divorce. But nooo, they got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. But you know what, you know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next 8 hours.
Chandler: (starts to recite a rehearsed speech) Monica is a self-sufficient, together lady. (Pause.) Being with her has been like being on a vacation. And what may be perceived as high maintenance is merely attention to detail and(He falters and Monica prompts him.)generosity of spirit.
MR. GREENE: Alright, that sounds like a two person job. [they walk into Rachel's bedroom]
CHANDLER: So, basically just a Chinese guy.
PHOEBE: [a little dog starts attacking her leg] Hey, hey, no, oh oh.
Rachel: Well, you sure had a hell of a time at the wake!
MONICA: No, no, not a party. Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. Um, this is Phoebe and Chandler and Joey.
PHOEBE: Ok, question number 28, have you ever allowed a lighning bearer to take your wind? I would have to say no.
RACHEL: Well, I have to be, I don't really have a choice, I mean, you know, I could look at the bright side, I get two birthday parties and two birthday cakes.
JOEY: Yeah, we set up a court in your room. Uh, you didn't really like that grey lamp, did you?
CHANDLER: Joey, a woman just stuck her tounge down my throat, I'm not even listening to you.
RACHEL: Listen honey, can you keep dad occupied, I'm gonna go talk to mom for a while.
MR. GREENE: It's not a game Ross, a woman died on my table today.
MR. GREENE: I think I need a drink.
ROSS: Scotch. Alright, I'll be back in 10 seconds with your scotch on the rocks in a glass.
PHOEBE: Oh no, ooh, ooh, did somebody forget to use a coaster?
RACHEL: Yeah, like a chimney.
ROSS: Wow, well uh, uh, actually, Julie's downstairs getting a cab, I just need the cat toy, did Monica say. . . What? Why, why are you looking at me like that? RACH: I don't know, I, I feel like I had a dream about you last night but I, I don't remember. ROSS: OK. Oh, oh, oh. [runs over and picks up the cat toy] RACH: Did we speak on the phone last night? Did you call me? ROSS: No, I stayed at Julie's last night. RACH: Huh. ROSS: Oh, actually I haven't even been home yet. Do you mind if I check my messages? RACH: Oh yeah, go ahead. [Rachel walks in her room. Ross picks up the phone and dials his machine to check his messages.] ROSS: Rach, I got a message from you. [pauses] Who's Michael? [Rachel comes out of her room, suddenly she remembers leaving the message.]
[Back in Monica's party. Phoebe is talking to a guy and two girls at the party.]