words in movies
Gunther: (In his head) Say Rachel, I was wondering if youd like to go to a movie with me sometime. As my lover! Nnnsch, to out there. Maybe youd just like to ah, get something to eat with me sometime? As my lover.
(Shes interrupted by a loud crash and the sound of braking dishes. Followed quickly by another crash. Everyone turns and looks at the back room, as Gunther emerges.)
Gunther: I dropped a cup.
Pete: ...so y'know, thats why, within a few years, that voice recognition is gonna be pretty much standard on any computer you buy. Y'know, so you could be like-like, Wash my car. Clean my room. Its not gonna be able to do any of those things, but itll understand what youre saying.
Monica: I gave you a key for emergencies!
Monica: Hes great! I mean we have such a good time together! Hes so funny, and sooo sweet, and Im not attracted to him at all!!
Joey: (entering, dancing and singing) Oh mommie, oh daddie, I am a big old baddie! Oh mommie, oh daddie, I am a big old baddie! (He dances around the dinner table and exits)
[Scene: A Theatre, Joey is arriving to rehearse the play hes in.]
(She goes over to the snack table, and Joey quickly runs over and pours her a cup of coffee.)
Kate: No, thats not it. So, youre a soap actor? Well this must be pretty exciting for you to be in a real play, hmm?
Joey: Hey, Ive done plays before. Im a serious actor.
Kate: Right, at the end, you choked on a cookie.
Ross: So Rachel called. Wants to see me. Going over in a minute.
Ross: Then be supportive like a guy.
Chandler: (in a deep voice) If I broke up with you, Id miss you.
Rachel: Yeah. Ahh, heres a box of your stuff. (hands him a box)
Rachel: Oh, y'know, its just like hats, and a shirt, and CDs, just sort of stuff that youve left here.
Ross: Yeah, I-I really do. (takes a dinosaur mug out of the box) Hey! This-this was a gift?!
Ross: Its still a gift! I got it from the gift shop!
Ross: No!! Y'know-y'know dont do me any favours. In fact, where, wheres the rest of my stuff?! Huh? Like-like my umm, (picks up a book) Hey, this book is mine!! And-and-and, and that T-shirt you sleep in? Id like that back too. Yes, I do.
Rachel: Oh, you are a petty man. You are a petty, petty....
Ross: Oh-oh, okay, okay! (He quickly takes off his sweater in order to put on the T-shirt. Its an old Frankie says relax T-shirt, that barely fits him. Rachel nods her head in approval of the new look.) If you dont mind Im gonna the rest of my stuff, and relax, in my favourite shirt. (Starts to leave) You have a pleasant evening. (He exits and leaves the door open.)
Phoebe: So, youre like a zillionaire? (Pete smiles and nods)
Phoebe: Y'know what, you should like, you should buy a state and then just name it after yourself.
Chandler: Thats not a state Joe.
The Director: Tasty! Im really starting to feel like you guys have a history, its-its nice.
Kate: I have a question about this scene.
Kate: I think my characters gonna need a little bit more of reason than that.
Joey: Oh, hey, how about this one. Ah, its says so in the script! Y'know ah, I-I dont know why my character likes you either, I mean it says in the script here that youre a bitch.
[Rachel comes out of her apartment, followed by Mark, and they leave on their date, without saying a word to Ross. Ross is stunned.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching a basketball game, Ross is staring out the peephole.]
[Scene: A Hospital Reception, Monica and Pete are there.]
Monica: Okay. Umm, y'know, I dont think, I dont think I told you this, but umm, I just got out of a really serious relationship.
Pete: Oh, yeah. Wasnt that like a year ago?
Monica: So I did tell you. Okay, y'know, that really isnt the thing. Umm, the thing is that, right now Im just in a place in my life where I need to focus on me. Y'know what I mean?
Monica: Well, um, look I-I dont want this to come our wrong, but ah, you seem awfully confident for a guy I just told I wasnt attracted too.
Chandler: I dont think this town is big enough for both of us to relax in. (He blows on his hand) Draw!! (He quickly pulls the lever to raise the foot rest, like a gunfighter in a Western.)
Chandler: Ah, Sliced Bread, a wonderful Lady MacBeth.
Chandler: I think somebody has a crush on somebody.
Chandler: Hey, you have nothing but talk about her for the last 48 hours! If you were in a school yard youd be pulling her pigtails and pushing her down now!
Joey: ...feel like getting a cup of coffee?
Chandler: No, its not like, like Phil Spiderman. Hes a spider, man. Y'know like ah, like Goldman is a last name, but theres no Gold Man.
Rachel: Oh, great. Although I did sit down where there wasnt a chair.
Monica: By the way, Ross dropped by a box of your stuff.
Rachel: Oh, well, I guess I had that one coming. Im just gonna throw it out, its probably just a bunch of shampoo and... (she opens the box and stops)
Rachel: (She takes the T-shirt out of the box and holds it to her chest and take a deep breath.) No. Nothing. (She smiles and goes into her room.)
(Chandler and Joey give Monica a pack of condoms.)
[Flashback to 209 - TOW Phoebe's Dad] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents out of a cardboard box from a case of motor oil.]
Monica: Okay Ben, why don't you come open some more presents, and Santa, the Armadillo and I have a little talk in the kitchen? There's a sentence I'd never thought I'd say.
Chandler: (entering in a Santa costume) Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!
Chandler: You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed one from a guy at work!
Chandler: But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly.
Monica: (to Chandler) Hey, you think, you can keep it another night? (She has a really teasing look on her face and keeps twirling Chandler's beard.)
Chandler: I'm sorry. Hey, at least you guys get to go home and be with your families tonight. I have to go back to an empty hotel room and lay down on a very questionable bedspread. And then tomorrow morning, you get to have Christmas morning in your own houses, wich, by the way, none of you have invited me to.
(All are leaving, wishing each other a Merry Christmas, peace on earth, etc. Only Wendy stays.)
Monica: Hi Honey! We're all here; we just want to wish you a Merry Christmas.
Monica: Ohh, you are such a good boss! Is she pretty?
Ross: (in a low voice) Answer faster, answer faster!
Monica: Wendy? -- That sounds like a girl's name.
Chandler: I don't think of her that way, you know, she's a, she's a colleague.
Chandler: Whoa-ho, back off, Missy! (He takes a step back, but she still keeps her grip on his tie.)
Chandler: I don't know; I'm not used to girls making passes at me! ... (She lets go of his tie) Wait a minute... am I sexy in Oklahoma?
Phoebe: (interrupting) Uh-huh, me too. Ross, maybe I should've specified that I'd be needing a grown up doctor.
[Flashback to 716 - TOW The Truth About London] [Scene: London, Chandler's hotel room. He was getting ready for bed when Monica pays him a visit and they started talking]
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am *so* bad at this.
Joey: Hey, you know, some of those are pretty hard! Like why would there be a ghost in my fridge? (pause). Yeah!
[Flashback to 503 - TOW The Triplets] [Scene: A hallway in the hospital, Monica and Chandler are talking.]
Chandler: Okay, one thing at a time. (They run out to get married.)
Chandler: Well, stuff like where we'd live, y'know? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Y'know, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, we'd have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
Chandler: Okay, all right, all right, all right! Okay! (Picks up a blue sweater.) Okay, here's something, here's something blue and new.
Monica: (laughs) Y'know what? I-I don't want a big, fancy wedding.
Chandler: Uh, four, a boy, twin girls and another boy.
Rachel: (opens her present from Ross; it's a dark-red scarf) Oohh, I love it!
(They all stand a moment in silence, staring out of the window.)
Monica: No, I want everything that you just said. I want a marriage.
Monica: "Wendy" is a fat girl name.
Joey: Hey-heeyyy - Look at that, it's a Christmas miracle!
Chandler: Yeah! It's a stupid job, and I could not stand leaving you. And why should I be the only one who doesn't get to do what he *really* wants to do?
Ross: (reading off his card) "A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet." -- How did you know?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, Monica is cleaning up, Chandler is sitting on the couch, checking the Job offers in a Newspaper.]
Chandler: I don't have a *job*!
Monica: You are! (she picks up a bill from the table, handing it to Chandler) Hey, here's twenty bucks. -- Why don't you go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow?
Joey: You damn right I am, I've been waiting for a cookie for 7 minutes.
[Scene: Mike and Phoebe in Phoebe's place, Phoebe is doing a crossword puzzle]
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! I'll do it! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
Mike: OK, I don't want to freak you out or anything, but I think I just saw a rat in your cupboard.
Phoebe: Well not so much a pet as, you know, an occasional visitor who I put food out for, you know. Kinda like Santa. Except Santa doesn't poop on the plate of cookies.
Rachel: No, I just mean that, you know, first impressions don't mean anything. And I-I think you're a really good guy and I'm sorry that I misjudged you.
Rachel: Oh yeah, I'm jealous. "Oh Gavin, please, please look at my ass". (Gavin starts looking) Stop looking at my ass! I mean, I just think you are totally inappropriate, ok? This is a work environment, she's your subordinate.
[Scene: Rachels bedroom; Rachel is awoken by a man singing in the next apartment.]
Rachel: Oh wow, you are really, you're really a creep.
Rachel: That is totally different for two reasons. One - I didn't know that you knew that. And two, I wasn't some creep staring at his ass, we had a deap meaningful relationship.
Rachel: It was ... (can't remember) oh my god. He didn't have a last name. It was just "Tag". You know, like Cher, or, you know, Moses.
Joey: Man, I wish I had a nanny like you.
Molly: You mean, when you were a baby.
Rachel: Because it took us months to find a good nanny and I wouldn't want anything to, you know, drive her away.
Ross: What are you, a child?
Mike: Better think of a new name for him.
Ross: Listen, can you do me a favor? I'm gonna be out today. Can you just keep an eye on Joey, make sure nothing happens between him and Molly?
[Scene: A Janitorial Closet, Monica and Chandler are emerging slowly.]
Phoebe: I don't know, I kinda like Bob for a girl.
Mike: I don't know, I mean I'm not sure (they hear cracking voice from somewhere else in the kitchen, probably a rat caught in a trap) ...
Mike: Maybe it wasn't Bob, maybe it was a mouse.
Joey: For a walk.
Chandler: Is this really your long term plan, for me to run interference? Because I could get a job any day now.
Ross: Well, of course you can defend yourself from an attack you know is coming, thats not enough. Look, I studying kara-tay for a long time, and theres a concept you should really be familiar with. Its what the Japanese call (he holds two fingers up to his temple, and he does this every time he says this word) unagi.
Ross: (to the guard) Dont sweat it, Ive got this section covered. Yeah, in fact Ive got this little baby (Turns on a mini-flashlight) to shine in peoples eye(The guard walks away)Okay, see you later.
Ross: Wh - No. Some woman who sounded a lot like Joey called earlier and asked for her daughter, the "hot nanny".
Chandler: Yes, as a matter of fact he did, so I can't let you go.
Parker: Why dont all of you tell me a little about your self?
Gavin: Thank god you finally said that, I saw you make a note on your pad three hours ago. (Rachel throws away that paper) Man, I really bug you, don't I?
Rachel: Um, excuse me Gavin, I have a question I need to ask you.
Monica: Maybe he's bothering you so much because he likes you. It's like in first grade when Skippy Langwild always pushed me on the playground because he secretly had a crush on me?
(A man walks by)
Monica: Oh, you're welcome for the party. I'm glad you're having a good time.
Ross: Do you perhaps seeing a note on top of it?
Phoebe: I had to bring them! We killed their mother, they're our responsibility now. You know, they require constant care. You should know that, Rachel, you're a mother.
Rachel: If you like looking at butts so much why don't you just go look at a mirror?
Monica: So this is what a stroke feels like.
Molly: (with Emma in a basinet) She's out, I'm gonna take her home.
Rachel: Are you comparing my daughter to a rat?
Chandler: (In a helium voice, holding a balloon) I'm sorry, I got a little occupied.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Evil Bitch and Sick Bastard are gone and Ross has just finished talking to a nurse as Rachel stands and stretches.]
Joey: So you see, Molly, what people don't understand is that acting is a discipline. It takes a lot of hard work.
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are still hugging as a waiter walks by the table to talk to the annoying waiter from before who is watching.]
Ross: Molly, ah, do you mind giving us just a minute?
DR. BURKE: Yeah, it sure does. [they hug and it turns into a passionate kiss]
(knock on door, Ross opens, it's a woman)
Molly: (goes out of the room) Hey! Guys, this is Tabatha (they kiss on the lips in a romantic way). (to Ross) I'll see you tomorrow.
Phoebe: I'll find Bob, I'll get him. Bob? (starts looking) Bob! Robert! (looks at cabinet under sink) Oh wait, I think I hear him. Oh - Oh my god! Bob had babies! Bob's a mom!
Mike: Yeah - not such a problem with rats. No, they're more of a "love the one you're with" kind of animals.
Rachel: Terry, I, I, I know that I haven't worked here very long, but I was wondering, do you think it would be possible if I got a $100 advance in my salary?
Gavin: Well, let me explain how birthday parties usually work. There are presents, and a cake, perhaps a fourth or fifth person. Ok, I ... got you the present to make up for being such a jerk to you earlier.
Rachel: Aww. Well, ok, well that's very nice. And you wrote a card (opens the card). "From Gavin"
Rachel: Oh, you bought me a present! Why?
Rachel: (opens the present, it's a green scarf) Awww, awww, it's beautiful.
Gavin: Yes, I feel that you are a little annoying.
Chandler: Oh, well someone left this (shows a green jacket). This is yours?
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, shes pacing as Ross knocks on her door and opens it a little to stick his hands in.]
Ross: I don't know. I mean I have plenty of opportunity. Just just now there were some women at the coffee house smiled at me.And then the other day on the subway a woman "accidentally" sat on my hand.
Monica: No I totally disagree. No I think it's fine for a guy to do something like that. Such you an actor. Not that you need to,your eyebrows are...
Phoebe: I'm a woman!
Rachel: You know honey, there is a thin line between love and hate, and it turns out that line...is a scarf!
(Wendy enters the conference room, carrying a cardboard box.)
Sonia: We'll get to the wax in a minute. First I want to tweeze some of the strays, ok? This may sting just a little bit...
Joey: Thanks. Do you get a lot of guys in here?