words in movies
Chandler: Sure! Just give me a second to get all huffy and weird like you! Do you believe that who everdid something over here last night did what they did or didn't do ...I mean come on!!
Ross: I don't know. I mean I have plenty of opportunity. Just just now there were some women at the coffee house smiled at me.And then the other day on the subway a woman "accidentally" sat on my hand.
Joey: Hey! Let me ask you guys something. I have a new headshot taken tomorrow right and the photographer said she thinks Ishould have my eyebrows waxed. Is that weird for a guy?
Monica: No I totally disagree. No I think it's fine for a guy to do something like that. Such you an actor. Not that you need to,your eyebrows are...
Phoebe: I'm a woman!
Phoebe: Oh! What's the matter? Are you scared? You're afraid I'm a better singer? You're afraid I'm gonna beat you at singing?
Rachel: You know honey, there is a thin line between love and hate, and it turns out that line...is a scarf!
Phoebe: Wow! Five-month maternity leave, you're back for four days, kiss a co-worker, call in sick, they are lucky to have you!!
Salon girl: Ok. Very good. Have a seat right over here Mr. Bing and Sonia will be right with you.
Joey: Thanks. Do you get a lot of guys in here?
Sonia: We'll get to the wax in a minute. First I want to tweeze some of the strays, ok? This may sting just a little bit...
Joey: Please I have an extremely high threshold...Holly Mother Of God! My face! My face!! I'm all right! I'm all right!Just a little bit of shock that's all but I'll be fine you can go again. I'm OK(He tries to avoid the tweezers) Dammit! Woman!! How Hoooow!
Ross: No no, about a month ago she gave her number to some guy in a bar.
Chandler: Oh come on! Hello! Hi! My name is Chandler, here's my friend Ross right here, and we were wondering you know if you're up for it. We only need six more people for a human pyramid...Swoop!! Swoop!!
Ross: Hum...So...hum...Oh hey I noticed you were reading the paper...another flood in Europe? Here�s a question: "Would you...would you rather drown or be burnt alive?"
Rachel: Oh! Right! Yeah! Hold on, I'll be just clean up in here a little bit! Hello Gavin
Rachel: I a not gonna lie to you, I'm pretty sick
Gavin: Oh! Good! Because I was having a totally paranoid moment when I thought you called in sick to avoid me.
Gavin: Exactly how contagious is this thing you have? I mean is it a cold for standing on the balcony or did a monkey bite you?
Rachel: It's just a cold
Rachel: Oh he's dusting me with a fossil brush. He thought it would be funny.
Molly: There is a man behind your curtain. I have a mace in my purse.
Gavin: You hear a key in the hole and you jump like a young bronco coming out of a chute for the first time. I used to be arodeo clown.
Gavin: It's OK. I know it's probably not my place but can I give you a piece of advice?
Mike: Oh she's my girlfriend. That's not just how we do it here. I got to get a break and when we come back we've got Kennethsinging "I touch myself"...I'm not here to judge!
Phoebe: But you would have so much fun and you have a really nice voice.
Phoebe: OK so isn't there a little part of you that wants to get up there?
Monica: Just a little but...it's just so scary! I don't even know what I would sing...
Mike: Well I've got a book around...
Ross: Right, so that's a firm "no". I cannot believe this, I just keep striking out.
Monica: Hi! I'm Monica and I'm gonna be singing "Delta Dawn""Delta Dawn, what's that flower you have on? Could it be a faded rose from days gone by? ..."
Mike: Like an X-Ray. Bad day not to wear a bra.
Joey: You may be a sissy but I'll still (pound you out on ground). All right, it hurts so bad, I could only let her do oneeyebrow and now... they don�t match!
Chandler: It�s like a baby caterpillar chasing its mama!
Monica: I can�t believe I did this. I can�t believe I'm singing for the people, and they liked me! Hey, did you hear thatone shouting �look at those tips�! I mean, did I really help you get a lot of tips?
Mike: Also a good gift? Underwear.
Michelle: It�s so amazing I met you the same day that Eric broke up with me, because it�s like you lose a boyfriend,you get a boyfriend.
Joey: Oh my God! I didn�t feel a thing ! Hey, are you still looking for a job because you can tweeze circles aroundthat sadistic bitch at the saloon
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, I think it looks pretty good. I was a little worried I was uncovering a birthmark right aboutthere, but it turned out to be a little piece of chocolate.
Joey: Listen that�s a pretty girly hour we just spent, we should add some manly make up for it.
Monica: Ok, for my next song I think I�ll sing something a little more upbeat. All right? Oh, how about the PointerSisters �I am so excited�. And make it bouncy!
Rachel: Wow. She does that a lot!
Michelle: Ross, you didn�t tell me you were a doctor!
Rachel: What, what, wait a minute! You haven�t even told her you were a doctor, yet? How long have you known her, likean hour?
Michelle: Actually about an hour and a half.
Ross: When I happened to look through the window and I see you kissing a guy you know, for what? A week?
Rachel: Oh God, I can�t believe you�re making such a big deal about this. It was one kiss, one guy, one time!
Ross: Because he called here looking for you. So don�t tell me this...this kissing this guy from work is a one time thing,ok? You�ve been out there in bars and on balconies for over a month now. And you didn�t even have the courtesy to tell me.
Rachel: Oh my God, I cannot believe this. You know I actually came in here hoping to have a mature conversation with youAbout us! But I can�t do that with someone who hides my messages and brings crazy women back to my apartment!
Rachel: Oh, Ross, this is just so messed up! What�s wrong with us? You know when people hear about our situation theyAlways ask, �what, you live together but you�re not a couple? And you have a baby, isn�t that weird?� And I say �No.You know what, it�s not, because it works for us!� But you know this doesn�t work. In fact this is the opposite of working!
Rachel: Hi. Can Emma and I live here for a while?
Chandler: �Jeremiah was a bullfrog. Was a good friend of mine, never understood a single word he said, but I helped himdrink his wine.� So you just touch yourself for anything?
CHAN: I'll take one. Sometimes I like to hold stuff like this and pretend I'm a giant.
JOEY: Yeah, she's totally good looking. I mean, if I met her in a bar, or something, I'd be buying her breakfast. [pause] You know, after having slept with her.
ROSS: Oh, great. Great. There was a projectile, uh, throwing up incident, but he started it.
JOEY: Hey, if she were marrying a guy, she'd be like the worst lesbian ever.
ROSS: If you wanna call that a reason.
CHANDLER: For a minute there I thought you were actually tryin' to smell something.
ROSS: Yeah, well, he's a baby not a bomb.
[Everyone takes a step back from Phoebe]
CHANDLER: That's great. All right, I gotta get to work, I got a big dinosaur bone to inspect.
CHANDLER: That's a little more relaxed than you want them to get.
ROSS: Well just hold him like you'd hold a football.
RACHEL: This is how I would hold a football.
Phoebe: Ah-hah! At least we know its a him.
Monica: �A qui�n pidio el pollo General Tso? (Who ordered General Sal's chicken?)
RACHEL: Yeah, well just be glad he's not playing a smaller instrument.
JOEY: They didn't fight a lot?
MR A: Oh, that's all right, although you did cut into my busy day of sitting.
MR A: Phoebe?
MR A: Well, I don't know what to tell you dear. The only thing I can think of is that she always used to say that before she died, she wanted to see everything.
MR A: You're saying, my wife is in you?
PHOEBE: Whoa, that's a lot of stuff.
MR A: Oh, wait, I remember, she also said she wanted to sleep with me one last time.
MR A: [to Joey] Worth a shot, huh?
PHOEBE: Yeah. I guess she hasn't seen everything yet. I'll be right back, she has to go to the bathroom again. [Takes Mrs. Green's chin in her hand and says, in Mrs. Adelman's voice] Oh, such a pretty face.
Chandler: So, it's a typical day at work. I'm inputting my numbers, and big Al calls me into his office and tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor.
ROSS: No. Look, I told you I am not a part of this thing.
MONICA: You're still gonna pay me, right? Or something a little less selfish.
PHOEBE: Oh. Mine does. (singing) Stephanie knows all the chords. (makes a face)
Joey: Come on. This guy's great. His name's Bob. He's Angela's... brother. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. Me, I go on three auditions a month and call myself an actor, but Bob is...
[Monica pushes Ben down the aisle in a stroller. Susan is escorted by both her parents. Carol is escorted by Ross.]
PHOEBE: I know it's kind of weird, but I mean, she was a big part of my life there, you know, and now I just feel kind of alone.
CHANDLER: [to an attractive woman] I shouldn't even bother coming up with a line, right? [The woman walks away]
RACHEL: I had a wedding.
SUSAN: You did a good thing today.
[A guy is sitting at his desk and his boss comes in and drops a huge pile of papers on his desk. The guy looks dejected.]
[Scene: In a TV commercial that the gang is watching at Monica and Rachel's.]
(They shake hands. Cut to Ross emerging from a hallway, grinning inanely. He is obviously very stoned)
[A monkey jumps on the desk and hands the guy a beer. He opens the beer and is suddenly on the beach, in a hammock, with beautiful women all around.]
[Ross enters with a suitcase]
CHANDLER: You know I think he will be surprised, 'till he realizes he's a monkey, and uh, you know, isn't capable of that emotion.
Ross: I found a note on my door, "Come to Monicas quick, bring champagne and a Three Musketeers bar."
PHOEBE: Oh, oh, OK, so everyone, pretend like I'm telling you a story, OK. And, and it's really funny. So everyone just laugh, now.
CHANDLER: You know, it's funny when my parents got divorced, they sent me to this shrink, and she told me that all kids have a tendency to blame themselves. But in your case it's actually kinda true.
LIPSON: Well he got sick, and then he got sicker, and then he got a little better but then he died.
ROSS: Yeah. Ya know, a boy and a girl. Hopefully the girl will come first so Ben here won't feel too competitive.
[Both run back in their apartment. There's a knock at the door.]
LIPSON: I'm sorry. Look, I know this can't bring him back but here, it's just a gesture.
Phoebe: Yes... I'm sorry, I've never met a boyfriends parents before...
CHANDLER: Oh no no no, she's a total wack job. Yeah, she thinks that Joey is actually Dr. Drake Remore.
CHANDLER: Hey, just because this woman thinks she can actually see Joey through the magical box in her living room doesn't mean she's not a person. I mean, does she not deserve happiness, does she not deserve love? What're you lookin' at me for? He's the one who wants to boff the maniac.
ROB: That's not a good idea, that's kinda the reason the last guy got fired.
[Scene: A nice restraunt. Joey and Erica are dining.]
WAITER: Oh my God! Someone, he's choking. Is anyone here a doctor?
PHOEBE: We just have to really, really, really, not let stuff like money get--is that a hickey?
JOEY: Uhh, cause, uhh, I'm a neurosurgeon and that was clearly a case of, uh, uh, foodal chokage. Alright, look, I got to tell you something.
Phoebe: Oh! You know my friend Abby who shaves her head? She said that if you want to break the bad boyfriend cycle, you can do like a cleansing ritual.
JOEY: Hey I- [she cuts him off with a kiss]
ROB: How did you know there was a but?
RACH: Why didn't he call? He's gonna stay with Julie, isn't he? He's gonna stay with her and she's going to be all, "Hi, I'm Julie, Ross picked me, and we're gonna to get married, have a lot of kids and dig up stuff together."
Monica: And you know what? We want a rematch.
JANITOR: Your monkey found a new career, in the entertainment field. That's all I know.
[Scene: Library. Ross show up with a MonkeyShine Beer poster.]
Chandler: It was pretty simple actually, I came up with a couple of cost-cutting solutions, wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell.
JOEY ON TV: Damnit, I'm a doctor, I'm not God.
ERICA: Ohh, and I see you're having a little party too. Is she here, huh, huh?
[Monica looks around the hallway, pulls out a sponge and starts scrubbing the door frame.]
JOEY: Yeah, that was a tricky one. In reality, that operation takes like, over 10 hours, but they only showed it for 2 minites.
Phoebe: (handing Rachel the phone) Fine all right, but Id bet youd be singing another tune if we were fighting over a ratchet.
ERICA: You told me I was the only one. [throws a glass of water in his face]
JOEY: Alright look, that's it. I don't think we should see each other anymore, alright. Look, I know I should have told you this a long time ago but I am not Drake Remore, OK. I'm not even a doctor, I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor.
JOEY: 'Cause it's a television show.
ROB: The library board has had a lot of complaints from parents about some of the stuff in your songs.
[a rush of kids enter]
ROSS: This is so exciting, I haven't seen my monkey in almost a year.
JOEY: I finally get a part on TV and the monkey's makin' movies.
ROSS: Uh, I'm sorry, you don't understand, I'm, I'm, I'm a friend of his. We uh, we used to live together.
RACHEL: Now just how big of a star is Marcel?
TRAINER: Hey don't take it personal, he's under a lot of pressure, ya know, starring in a movie and all.
Monica: (That annoying competitiveness thing kicks in again, what the heck is that with her and why must the writers show it every flippin' episode?!) Oh, we're not seeing a movie!
Tim: Whoops. Sorry. (Looking at it, like a newscaster) This just in. (Phoebe fake laughs.) Oh, its 9-1-1 from the restaurant, that means Monica needs me right away. (Starts to leave.)
Chandler: Someone's left a glass on the coffee table. There's no coaster. It's a cold drink, it's a hot day. Little beads of condensation are inching their way closer and closer to the surface of the wood...
SUSIE: We've got a problem.
Ross: Oh! A fine choice. I'm coming out. (Starts to climb over the furniture)
Chandler: Okay, it's just that dogs make me a little uncomfortable.
Chandler: Oh. Oh right! Right! Because youre still seeing him and uh, hes a good guy. I mean, I remember a time when (He fakes falling asleep.)
CHANDLER: Yes, back then I, uh, used humor as a defense mechanism. Thank God I don't do that anymore.
SUSIE: I'm Susie Moss. Fourth grade, glasses, I used to carry around a box of animal crackers like a purse. CHANDLER: Susie Moss, right, yeah, wow, you look. . . great job growing up.
[a voice in the background calls for makeup]
SUSIE: Um, so listen, how many times am I gonna have to touch you on the arm before you ask me on a date.
PHOEBE: No, huh uh, I'm sorry, no. No, I'm not some like sloppy second, charity band. You know what, there are thousands of places in this city where people would be happy to pay to hear me play. (Out on the sidewalk, singing) When I play, I play for me, I don't need your charity. (Someone puts a coin in her guitar case) Thank you! La la la la la la la....
MONICA: Rachel if you, if you want to go out with him, you can. Sound like a big jerk to me but if that's what you want to do...
SECURITY GUARD: Uh, excuse me folks this is a uhh...
CHANDLER: Hey, stick a fork in me, I am done.
SUSIE: I can't do Chris's makeup. She refuses to acknowledge that she has a moustasche.
JOEY: Yeah, unless you hook up with a bunch of pigeons.
CHANDLER: Like, when you're cooking a steak.
SUSIE: Oh, shoot, we gotta go, got a reservation in 30 minutes.
PHOEBE: Yeah, it's just so strange. I mean, she probably woke up today and thought, "ok, I'll have some breakfast, and then I'll take a little walk, and then I'll have my massage." Little did she know God was thinking, "Ok, but that's it." Oh, but the weirdest thing was, ok, I was cleansing her aura when she died, and when the spirit left her body, I don't think it went very far.
ROSS: Hello. Oh hi, are you on your way ove-. Oh. No, no, I, I understand, I mean a monkey's gotta work. No it, it's no big deal, it' not like I uh, had anything special planned. Yeah OK, OK. OK, OK, bye.
[Scene: A fancy restraunt (Marcel's). Joey, Ross, Chandler, Susie, and the Director's Assistant are there.]